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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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Jerk off rituals

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L.Hull
Posts: 8 - Karma: 10
I have to listen to classical music wile watching rats swim horse semen

what do you do ?
Feb 11 2013 8:43PM
5 15
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
i lock the door and have tissues on hand
Feb 11 2013 8:45PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
Samesies
Feb 11 2013 8:45PM
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FLBP
Posts: 1794 - Karma: 310
Dim the lights.
Make sure the doors locked.
Double check my blinds are closed.
Glass of water on the nightstand.
Gym shorts around the ankles
2.5 squirts of just for men lotion.
Go nuts.

Feb 11 2013 8:46PM
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introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
Yay, one more shitty alias to post shitty thread in NsG.





Feb 11 2013 8:47PM
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Spagett+
Posts: 3499 - Karma: 14,884
I call your mother.

Feb 11 2013 8:59PM
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coolflash8
Posts: 3171 - Karma: 2,048
grab one of the assortment of socks under my bed/couch and find some good material and fap. i fapped 6 times last  friday during snowstorm /claim
Feb 11 2013 9:06PM
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BeefiestExpert
Posts: 2804 - Karma: 3,277
.
Feb 11 2013 9:07PM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,066
Why use socks?
Feb 11 2013 9:07PM
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coolflash8
Posts: 3171 - Karma: 2,048
reusable! paper towels hurts the enviroment. im a carbon neutral fapper
Feb 11 2013 9:09PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,657
first i steal my brothers fleshlight...
Feb 11 2013 10:47PM
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nagger
Posts: 1576 - Karma: 883
I thought your icon was a knee with a scab on it until just now
Feb 11 2013 10:49PM
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NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
I watch Jon Olsen interviews
Feb 11 2013 10:57PM
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Jesse.White
Posts: 450 - Karma: 754
I Take a shit while fapping to simulate a blumpkin.
Feb 11 2013 11:27PM
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the-honeypossum
Posts: 529 - Karma: 130
i watch porn while i do it.... i know.. im weird..
Feb 11 2013 11:32PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
hahahah +k



the basics, locked door, dimmed lights, tissues (about 2)
Feb 11 2013 11:55PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4807 - Karma: -647
Put a belt around my neck and tighten it once I get going...
Feb 12 2013 12:02AM
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zzzzzzzzzzzz
Posts: 391 - Karma: 159
nothing gets me off like asphyxiation
Feb 12 2013 12:24AM
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boozer
Posts: 521 - Karma: 35,623
HA
Feb 12 2013 12:26AM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
Fuck locking the door, closing the blinds, dimming the lights

I'm all about the danger
Feb 12 2013 12:29AM
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SwagtasticWalrus
Posts: 1268 - Karma: 184
I jerk it in the trophy room before every game.
Feb 12 2013 12:32AM
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*ninja*
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 1,143
BMS mascot i see you haha...
Feb 12 2013 12:45AM
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SwagtasticWalrus
Posts: 1268 - Karma: 184
Glad you got the reference! *Internet high five*
Feb 12 2013 12:46AM
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white+wolf
Posts: 874 - Karma: 492
1. Jerk off
2. Suddenly feel disgusted by porn
3. Close 10 tabs of porn
4. Clear pipes
Feb 12 2013 12:59AM
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IFuckBitches69
Posts: 14 - Karma: 0
i do it everyday like all the time, but instead of my hand i use a girls vagina, cuz i fuck mad bitches all the time
Feb 12 2013 4:03AM
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prosnurfer
Posts: 1842 - Karma: 83

1.www.fapdu.com

2. jeark off.

3. use american flag towel to clean up.

4. close tabs and the stupid live jasmine popup.

5 play with lilly lil paws and pet here

6. bong and newschoolers.

Feb 12 2013 12:03PM
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Bubba-Snax
Posts: 541 - Karma: 11
Open all windows and curtains in my house, lube up with motor oil, put on either
A.) Deliverance
Click for larger image
or B.) Pulp Fiction
Click for larger image
play on full volume and scream at my penis "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU?!?! WHY WONT YOU WORK LIKE MOMMY SAID!?!?!"
... and usually i finish off when the cops come to arrest me or get me to close the windows... god i love handcuffs.
Feb 12 2013 12:16PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,576
12 year olds "trolling".

GRRRRRRRRRRREAT!
Feb 12 2013 12:19PM
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Bubba-Snax
Posts: 541 - Karma: 11
its not trolling if its an obvious joke...
Feb 12 2013 1:32PM
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Toasty.
Posts: 6196 - Karma: 2,302
after im always like.. da fuck is dis shit?
Feb 12 2013 1:34PM
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AndyGreen
Posts: 827 - Karma: 61
i feel like this just about every time. porn just gets so boring, dont get me wrong i love tits and ass i have just watched it too many times
Feb 12 2013 6:42PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
Make sure I have sand paper
Feb 12 2013 6:45PM
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VoodooThursday
Posts: 257 - Karma: 793
haha living on the edge
Feb 12 2013 6:51PM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
60 s/min

on the roof

on sundays nights and tuesday mornings, two days before christmas and 1 week before hanukah. twice before a test and once after, increase to 70 s/min while listening to bach and reading wordsworth. Never on a friday.



Feb 12 2013 6:52PM
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hempcalifornia
Posts: 351 - Karma: 343
yess exact same thing, ur always like this is so hot and once ur finish ur like ew
Feb 12 2013 6:55PM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
haven't porned since september.

results: jerk off way less, clothed girls get +1, naked girls get +1.5, don't feel dirty after, spank bank running low, feel like a douche if I tell people I stopped (but this is the internet so it doesn't count).

not even fucking around with the ratings change. I should clarify though that standards not lowered, just general appreciation of a woman's inherent sexiness increased
Feb 12 2013 7:02PM
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3000
Posts: 941 - Karma: 249
hahaha so much this
Feb 12 2013 8:44PM
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jbalz
Posts: 36 - Karma: 14
1. look at porn
2. get boner
3. beat off
4. remove noose
Feb 12 2013 9:23PM
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grapejuice3000+
Posts: 2132 - Karma: 1,985
for my ritual, refer to "wrestling is no more" thread
Feb 12 2013 9:25PM
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HomieJon
Posts: 621 - Karma: 134
i fingure my buttonhole with my tongue and then fart in my mouth. that is if, i dont stick needles in my urethra the min before my o face nom sayn
Feb 16 2013 11:09PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
no ritual, i just wait for that tingly jingly and go with it. sometimes for a good while..
Feb 16 2013 11:18PM
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bo0b
Posts: 2964 - Karma: 996
I usually leave my door open because I'm already in bed and all riled up, and everyone's asleep anyways, then I jerk it to porn while having my phone on some hotties instagram or facebook so I can envision real life scenarios as well as the porno.
Feb 17 2013 12:10AM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,661
A kid from my highschool died doing that
Feb 17 2013 1:02AM
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Jeebus.
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 5,822
I only jerk off in the streets of san diego.
Feb 17 2013 1:05AM
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