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Critique on my 2 last edits!!

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Posts: 300 - Karma: 300
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Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
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Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
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Posts: 216 - Karma: 144
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Posts: 300 - Karma: 300
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Posts: 2565 - Karma: 3,728
All times are Eastern (-5)