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Meanwhile in Florida....

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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/strange/floriduh-blog/sfl-naked-intruder-20130122,0,6289205.story

Deputies: Naked intruder jumped from roof, attacked couple, pooped and masturbated


7:37 a.m. EST, January 23, 2013

When the homeowners stepped outside after hearing a noice, the naked man jumped from their roof and landed on the man, reports The News-Press in Fort Myers.

Then things really went south.

The man, Gregory Matthew Bruni, 21, then pooped before trying to swipe the coule's 72-inch TV from the wall...and began to masturbate in their living room, according to the report.

Things then went even further south before this Fiddler on the Roof was taken to a hospital.

Check out this strange tale and get the DUHtails at The News-Press in Fort Myers.
Jan 23 2013 9:59AM
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onLINE
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 423
bath salts.
Jan 23 2013 10:04AM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
hahahhahaahahah classic
Jan 23 2013 11:35AM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
Dad...?
Jan 23 2013 11:37AM
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ski-swagga
Posts: 5276 - Karma: 219
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Jan 23 2013 12:12PM
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1337
Posts: 31053 - Karma: 29,231
A Venice man is facing several charges after allegedly going on a naked rampage inside a couple’s home in North Fort Myers Monday.

Gregory Matthew Bruni, 21, is facing charges of damage to property, burglary, battery and resisting an officer.

The victims told the Lee County Sheriff’s Office they were inside around 6:50 p.m. when they heard noises on the roof.

They went outside and saw a naked man, later identified as Bruni, on the roof, according to a Lee County Sheriff’s Office report.

They said the man then jumped off the roof and onto one of the victims, knocking him down.

The man then ran into their home and pulled a 72-inch television off a living room wall, breaking it.

The victim told investigators he yelled for his wife to get a gun as Bruni continued to thrash around the house, knocking over a wet/dry vacuum and spilling its contents on the floor.

The wife fired three shots from a .38 caliber revolver at Bruni but missed and hit a wall.

Bruni then fell to the ground and began masturbating in the living room before he ran into the victims’ son’s bedroom and began rubbing his face with clothing, according to the report.

The male victim retrieved his shotgun from the master bedroom, but never fired at Bruni.

Deputies arrived on the scene and tried to detain Bruni, who started flailing around on the ground and speaking but not making sense.

Deputies said Bruni sucked up the water that had spilled from the vacuum and spit it out.

They said he tried to flee several times and had to be Tased as he was taken into custody.

Deputies later discovered Bruni defecated near the front door and in a hallway inside the residence.

He was transported to Lee Memorial Hospital for observation. Doctors advised deputies they couldn’t identify “what Bruni was on” and were conducting further tests, according to the report.
Jan 23 2013 12:19PM
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HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
lol
Jan 23 2013 1:02PM
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dhess
Posts: 223 - Karma: 58
Haha
Jan 23 2013 1:10PM
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blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
according to the huffington post, he:

  1. Got naked, climbed onto the Lands' roof.

  2. Attacked Tony Lands by jumping on him and hitting his shoulder.

  3. Ran into Lands' house, knocked down a TV and spilled the contents of a vacuum on the floor.

  4. Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Lands.

  5. Masturbated in the living room.

  6. Rubbed clothes on his face in the Lands' son's room.

  7. Defecated on the floor in two places.

  8. Drank the contents of the vacuum.
Jan 23 2013 1:22PM
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Puzzled
Posts: 4267 - Karma: 4,448
This is awesome
Jan 23 2013 1:36PM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
It's too bad they didn't shoot him.
Jan 23 2013 3:08PM
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OssargYormada
Posts: 671 - Karma: 186
Shit I just left fort Myers.. woulda loved seeing this.
Jan 23 2013 3:12PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Of course the wife missed him with the gun. Why didn't she go get it for the husband like he asked instead of trying to shoot the intruder from the kitchen?


















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Jan 23 2013 3:15PM
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GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
Haha wtf was he on?
Jan 23 2013 3:34PM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
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Jan 23 2013 3:42PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
hahhahaha i live in fort myers too bad i dont know this character
Jan 23 2013 6:46PM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
Gooby pls
Jan 23 2013 6:50PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Here we go again....

http://www.nbcnews.com/id/50626163/ns/local_news-orlando_fl/

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Man fatally stabs wife during argument over hamburge

Police say a 78-year-old South Florida man became so enraged when his wife refused to cook him a hamburger that he stabbed her to death.

Miami-Dade police said Bartolo Gelsomino confessed to killing his wife 71-year-old Ana Gelsomino on Jan. 21 and staging a burglary to cover up the crime. He faces second-degree murder charges and will be arraigned Feb. 11.

Jan 29 2013 2:04PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
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Jan 29 2013 2:11PM
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onLINE
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 423
no one gets in the way of a man and his burger. just brutal
Jan 29 2013 2:15PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
welp there goes my chances of ever going to florida again...good thing i never wanted to.
Jan 29 2013 2:21PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Do you not like to make Hamburgers?
Jan 29 2013 2:22PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
not particularly
Jan 29 2013 2:23PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
Threads for mugshot
Jan 29 2013 2:25PM
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onLINE
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 423
maybe his wife was the hamburglar
Jan 29 2013 2:31PM
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TheHamburglar
Posts: 3895 - Karma: 3,314
we will never know...
Jan 29 2013 2:40PM
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CrotchKiller
Posts: 9037 - Karma: 6,943
72 inch TV?

damn, that's nice
Jan 29 2013 2:42PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
Meanwhile in south carolina

Jan 29 2013 2:42PM
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t.dough
Posts: 413 - Karma: 1,090
Copy/pasted from a comment on the Huffington Post's article:

"I hope they update this story. I would like to know what this guy was on or what kinds of mental health issues he might have. I am glad he didn't hurt anyone. He looks like Shaun White, no?"


Jan 29 2013 2:49PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
I was the Hamburglar once.. seriously.

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/claim
Jan 29 2013 2:50PM
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onLINE
Posts: 1013 - Karma: 423
would bang. props to the 17 y/o for getting it in.
Jan 29 2013 2:56PM
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Abu_Hajaar
Posts: 2749 - Karma: 3,907
Bathsalts are one hell of a drug.
Jan 29 2013 3:21PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627
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Jan 29 2013 3:31PM
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