You're going to fail your classes and you won't be able to get into college. While all your friends go off to have fun and party in college, you're going to be stuck at home working in some fast food joint living with your parents. There'll be nobody your own age to be friends with so you'll have to get chummy with the creepy 28 year-old meth addict flipping burgers. One day, when you're whacked out from hitting the meth pipe with him, he'll slip out of his pants and start to slowly slap your face with his penis. This will quickly escalate to more and more vile things as he realizes you're completely unconscious.
The next day you will be browsing the internet on your parent's computer when you come across the video he made of your guys' adventures. To your dismay, the video has already gone viral with over a million hits. You'll start to get phone calls from many of your friends away at college: "Dude, what the fuck, was that you?" Horrified by this embarrassment, you run to a nearby bridge. As you stare past the rope tying a cinder block to your leg and into the cold dark water of the river below, you'll think to yourself: "I should have done better on those finals."
And then, you'll jump.
