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December, 2024

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Witty Jokes

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Ben_Mo-Fat
Posts: 328 - Karma: 793
Let's here them, we all have some dumb but clever jokes from the past: put them out there.

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall?

Damn!



What is the difference between a mole and a eagle?

They both live underground, except for the eagle!


Jan 13 2013 11:50PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
*hear.

Also those jokes are not clever or witty. They are dumb though.
Jan 13 2013 11:53PM
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Ben_Mo-Fat
Posts: 328 - Karma: 793
Thanks! I appreciate the feedback dude! We should totally hang out sometime.
Jan 13 2013 11:57PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
You are a really shitty alias.
Jan 13 2013 11:58PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11989 - Karma: 12,264
this thread
Jan 14 2013 12:00AM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 1,987
My girlfriend invited me to her house. I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably sexy and whispered in my ear, “I have feelings for you, shall we have sex?”, I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car. I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: “You’ve won my trust”

- Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car
Jan 14 2013 12:04AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51919 - Karma: 165,731
A girl was driving down the road.
Jan 14 2013 12:07AM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 1,987
Doubt it.
Jan 14 2013 12:16AM
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stezybake[D]oven
Posts: 370 - Karma: 36
have u ever had Ethiopian food????

.....neither have they!!!!!!!


Jan 14 2013 12:35AM
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Ben_Mo-Fat
Posts: 328 - Karma: 793
haha that last one was good, keep them coming
Jan 14 2013 12:42AM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
I don't really crack jokes, if I want to be funny, I generally go straight to making other people look like idiots. I can't pull off cracking jokes, but I have a really good demeaning voice. It's fun, try it.
Jan 14 2013 2:33AM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 1,987
Selling seashells on the seashore is a shitty business tactic.
Jan 14 2013 2:36AM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
Wan to hear about my dull pencil?

never mind it has no point
Jan 14 2013 2:43AM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
an irishman walks out of a bar.

i'll be here all week

Jan 14 2013 2:50AM
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SkiFreshPow
Posts: 233 - Karma: 335
You know what guys with big dicks eat for breakfast?

*hope that they say "no" or that they ask "what is it?"*

YEAH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D KNOW!!!!!
Jan 14 2013 4:51AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
a guy asks his friend what a 'dilemma' is.
so his friend tries to explain it using an example so he says:
Let's say through some turn of events you end up in a big bed and on your left side is this beautiful smokin hot chick and on your right side is a homosexual. Which one of the two are you going to turn your back towards ?

Jan 14 2013 6:01AM
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coldcuts69
Posts: 3718 - Karma: 1,888
Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree?





Because it was dead.
Jan 14 2013 7:15AM
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Deluge
Posts: 4401 - Karma: 805
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
Because pepper makes them sneeze!
Jan 14 2013 7:46AM
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Ben_Mo-Fat
Posts: 328 - Karma: 793
hahahaha
Jan 14 2013 8:27AM
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K-Dot.
Posts: 3754 - Karma: 7,858
This isn't some sort of wild claim thread.
Jan 14 2013 9:30AM
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Pow.yuHdig*
Posts: 1903 - Karma: 146
So I was out shopping for some new pillows and a comforter, i headed out to bed bath and beyond but everything was so expensive!, i guess down is up!

A dog walks into a bar and hes looking pretty low, he orders a whisky drink and the bar tender asks him whats wrong? the dog replies, aww nothin, my wife is just a bitch!

I went to the zoo the other day, they only had one dog... It was a shitzu (shit zoo)

why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the gay guys house.
Knock knock, who's there? the chicken!
Jan 14 2013 10:00AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51919 - Karma: 165,731
Maybe I should have posted it in accomplishments thread
Jan 14 2013 4:47PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
! i wasn't sure if anything in this thread would make me laugh but this did.
Jan 14 2013 4:49PM
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Bubba-Snax
Posts: 541 - Karma: 11
a neutron walks into a bar and asks for a drink. when he goes to pay the bartender says "for you, no charge"

Somebody asks a proton for directions. When they ask him if he's sure he reply's "I'm positive"
Jan 14 2013 5:29PM
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Lukegnar
Posts: 189 - Karma: 1,239
Why did the boy fall of the swing?

Because he didnt have any arms.

Why couldnt the girl ride a bike?

Because she didnt have any legs.
Jan 14 2013 5:50PM
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Bubba-Snax
Posts: 541 - Karma: 11
i think there is already an anti-joke thread.

but if this is what it's turning into...

why did the jew cross the road?

because he was being persecuted by the nazis.
Jan 14 2013 5:56PM
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Pancake_Fucker
Posts: 1852 - Karma: 1,987
Why did the boy drop his ice cream?
He was hit by a bus.

What's red and smells like paint?
Red paint.
Jan 14 2013 6:00PM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,182
There were three guys, two of them walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
Jan 14 2013 6:04PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
a logics professor walks into his classroom on the first day of class, as he looked around he noticed there wasnt a single boy in his class besides himself, only girls. "class this semester none of you have to come to class, all of you have already failed."
Jan 14 2013 6:30PM
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