If you didn't already know, Ian Compton is giving away some Orage outerwear and a Weak hoodie for the best response to why you enjoy watching The Week. I'm posting this because 1), I thought it was somewhat funny, and 2) my comment on the video is all screwed up, so I'm going to comment a link to here so it's readable.
I watch The Weak because it’s good
I watch The Weak because I should
Those ice coast jibbers sure know how to play
And it’s no surprise that this Christmas is a Tuesday
I’ve seen them all, to my great satisfaction
But for El Weakling, I have a suggestion
At the opening segments of every show
We see who sponsors Ian in the snow
LINE, Orage, Full Tilt, too
No wonder he’s part of the TC Crew
Those companies keep him wild and free
But I think he could rock a new name: Crest or Oral B
He’d flash even more smiles, atop those Carinthian skis
And all of the ladies would say, “Oh, Ian. You’re such a tease.”
White as the snow, straight as a rail
That lovely grill is cute as HAIL!
Beaming Julia Roberts will be put to shame
When the east coast kid is at the top of his game
If you put him next to Miley Cyrus
You’d think she contracted a rare oral virus
When I brish and brush and recite my ABC’s
I’d imagine my hero in all of his pearly steeze
When my teeth turn yellow from eating boiled goose eggs
I’d chug some mouthwash and dream of Tuesdays
When Kiwi meat pies are laden with sauce
Will and Andy could use Ian’s signature floss
I can see it now, the posing and the winking
The dictionary changing, “tooth” to “weakling”
The Chompton tour, overbooked with dates
Paparazzi chasing, after a grin on snow skates
The smile guru, jedi, undisputed master
With a smooth, sleek, one-footed disaster
The seductive grab, by the Chronic lover
Mass produced, on the Rolling Stone cover
I bet if you researched, Compton’s genealogy
You’d find Mona Lisa, in his family tree.
Just think of the possibilities, what this sponsorship could be
After that, gimme my limited edition Weak hoodie
P.S. I’m a poor, poor college student rocking $20 ski bibs from Walmart. Have pity on my soul.
