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I need to make $500 in the next week

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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
Don't ask why, but I do. I'm a jobless broke university student and want to keep this semi legal, so INB4 slinging crack.
Nov 25 2012 4:28PM
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Chinchi
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 4,211
Slinging meth
Nov 25 2012 4:29PM
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VT_scratch
Posts: 8784 - Karma: 6,232
good luck.
Nov 25 2012 4:30PM
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Wompuscat
Posts: 818 - Karma: 380
Donating sperm
Nov 25 2012 4:32PM
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HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
Tomorrow morning, go to any cafes near you, and ask if they can offer you a short term job. Explain your situation if you need to. You're going to need to work around 70h total, if you are getting minimum wage of $7.25, which means 11h / day if you work on Saturday.

I expect that the pay will be more, and you may even get tips, in which case you should manage it.

On the other hand, sling crack.
Nov 25 2012 4:34PM
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HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
Where I live you can donate blood for 20€, maybe you have a chance of this too.
Nov 25 2012 4:35PM
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mowglii
Posts: 545 - Karma: 339
bake sale /thread
Nov 25 2012 4:44PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
Sell some cough syrup

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Nov 25 2012 4:46PM
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Miomo
Posts: 4302 - Karma: 14,133
Girl Scouts crack sale in front of supermarket /thread
Nov 25 2012 4:46PM
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northeast
Posts: 2119 - Karma: 254
buy coke
cut it to double the weight
flip that shit like a mattress in the hood
double your money
buy hookers
Nov 25 2012 4:48PM
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B.Snow
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 92
collect a lot of bottles. If you live in res offer to take people's bottles for them... I guess you won't really get to $500 doing that though... Throw a huge kegger/party and charge 10 bucks to get... you probably only need like 70 people to make 500 bones
Nov 25 2012 4:49PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
No 999 learn to count!


Seriously though if you're clean and shaven you could find a gay dude who would pay that easily. Craigslist. That desperate?
Nov 25 2012 4:50PM
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B.Snow
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 92
And yea I know that 50 people would make you $500 but I'm just guessing that a couple kegs will be about $200
Nov 25 2012 4:51PM
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SamwiseTheGamgee
Posts: 686 - Karma: 817
ouch...
Nov 25 2012 4:52PM
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Jeebus.
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 5,822
sell your plasma, it'd only be about 100$ for the week but its a start.
Nov 25 2012 4:53PM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
I'm in res but our floor already collects bottles.

I might just go raid the other 6 floor's recycling closets really early in the morning though, thanks for the idea.

To whoever said donate sperm/blood, both are voluntary in Canada :(
Nov 25 2012 4:53PM
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SlimDunkin.
Posts: 2065 - Karma: 361
befriend a drug dealer
get a front
flip that shit
?????
500 acquired
Nov 25 2012 4:55PM
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Hughes
Posts: 1023 - Karma: 940
the 'don't ask why' instantly makes me think you owe your crack dealer $500
Nov 25 2012 5:05PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
still says you have 999 posts.....
Nov 25 2012 5:05PM
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KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,629
ill lend you $500 on a 12% interest rate and you can pay me back within 3 months
Nov 25 2012 5:15PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
500 bucks? Sounds like rent.
I've made close to that in a week selling my assorted white suburban kid bullshit on newschoolers.
Nov 25 2012 5:23PM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
I'll give you a short term loan, give me 750$ back in 2 weeks and were set
Nov 25 2012 5:34PM
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VT_scratch
Posts: 8784 - Karma: 6,232
what is this, dragons den?
Nov 25 2012 5:38PM
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BertBoyd
Posts: 734 - Karma: 2,253
You can sell Sperm for decent amount of cash all you have to do is jack off into a cup. Also this one hurts but pays great, Selling plasma.
Nov 25 2012 5:38PM
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ironic
Posts: 735 - Karma: 104
Depending on where you're from, donating plasma can make you quite a bit of money.
Nov 25 2012 5:39PM
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cool_name
Posts: 4295 - Karma: 3,131
if its actually something really important like rent ask your parents for it, and pay them back over the month or something by getting a job
Nov 25 2012 5:40PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
I just jerked off into a cup where's my money? And what do I do with it now I need this cup for juice soon
Nov 25 2012 5:41PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51626 - Karma: 162,071
You should at least triple your money if you're going to cut it in half like a dick.

Also op should rob a bank. Why stop at $500. Go big bro. Think of all the jiberish you could buy
Nov 25 2012 5:43PM
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blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
sell shit and/or yourself

borrow from a friend/family member and work to pay them off

rob a bank

gamble

sell drugs

snatch purses/wallets

hustle kids for their lunch money
Nov 25 2012 5:44PM
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BertBoyd
Posts: 734 - Karma: 2,253
Ask for a loan from a friend tell them you'l pay em back 600 and just get a job
Nov 25 2012 5:47PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
noob. everyone knows the real money is in heroin.
Nov 25 2012 5:50PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
noob. everyone knows the real money is in heroin.
Nov 25 2012 5:50PM
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T.CORC
Posts: 873 - Karma: 467
Click for larger image
Nov 25 2012 5:55PM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,321
Flip nug.
Nov 25 2012 5:56PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Ohhhhh JaMarcus..... typical raider.
Nov 25 2012 6:05PM
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Puns
Posts: 2052 - Karma: 429
steal peoples pets and 'find' them and claim reward

or their children.
Nov 25 2012 6:11PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
go on craigslist, see if anybody needs any "odd jobs" done. and no, I don't mean giving guys reach arounds while wearing clown costumes, I mean like raking leaves or chopping firewood types of odd jobs.
Nov 25 2012 6:22PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51626 - Karma: 162,071
Did Papppas tell the you his theory on the on the bank robbers yet?


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The Ex-Presidents are skiers.


Look at the goggle tan on this guy.

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Oh, well, he must be a skier?

Well, yeah.

Last year, Nixon scuffs the counter when he's going over, so there is a soil sample. Non-specific mud. Traces of leaves,
traces of sand, traces of wax.

So l become a wax expert. Now, there's something like 1337 products.

Candle wax, car wax, moustache wax. Could be anything. Guy's waxing his moustache at the beach, gets sand in it, takes it off with a shoe. Shoe scuffs the counter...

Would you just shut up a minute! Listen! Maybe you'll learn something. The lab gave us three possible matches.

This is one of them.

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Swix Wax! Yeah.

You're not into kinky shit, are you?

Not yet! Skiers use this. They rub it on their skis for speed.

Thanks for the tip.

You're welcome for the tip. Here's another.Check out the dates on these robberies. It's strictly a summer job for these idiots. Four months. June to October. Same the year before. That's right. We have one more month. We won't see 'em till next summer.

They're traveling on the money, going where the powder is.

That's right!

The Ex-Presidents rip off banks to finance their endless winter!

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Nov 25 2012 6:29PM
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GaryColeman
Posts: 248 - Karma: 380
^ wtf?
Nov 25 2012 6:37PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51626 - Karma: 162,071
Johnny fuckin' Utah!

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Nov 25 2012 6:42PM
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gnarnia.
Posts: 1346 - Karma: 55
you put a lot of work into that.

i laughed though.
Nov 25 2012 6:45PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
I love you.
Nov 25 2012 7:38PM
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VT_scratch
Posts: 8784 - Karma: 6,232
making any progress?
Nov 27 2012 6:48PM
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Bread_Fish
Posts: 760 - Karma: 71
Walk into any business and ask for a short term job. Get a job at McD's they will take literally anyone. Also the reason would help
Nov 27 2012 8:00PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4798 - Karma: -673
Rob some stupid university kid who sells weed. Smack him/his boys around a little so you don't have to worry about revenge.

Just get a gun and duck tape some nigga down in his room and take all his shit.

You got boys in on this with you or one man show?


Do you know of any chop shops? You can always wait and try and find a running car to jump in and drive to one.

I'd stick to robbing a drug dealer though. If its another college kid you'll be OK.
Nov 27 2012 8:07PM
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KrazyistKarl
Posts: 1725 - Karma: 599
how high are you?

Also, reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ys-LcyXgMU&feature=youtube_gdata_player
on mobile, not gonna bother trying to embed
Nov 27 2012 8:34PM
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Executive.
Posts: 267 - Karma: 220
get a loan, sell blood, sell sperm, sell your organs, spike someones drink and take out their organs and then sell them, sell valuable belongings, sell your orifices, sell drugs, invest in stocks, assassinate someone for money,hold up your local mcdonalds, steal shit in general and sell it on the black market, play guitar on the side of the street, dance for people, dress up like a hobo and beg in the streets, make a rap cd, buy a monkey put it on random peoples heads and take pictures and demand for money, become a late night comedian, or.........get a fucking job
Nov 27 2012 10:40PM
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PeppermillReno
Posts: 4798 - Karma: -673
I wonder if OP has the balls to do any of this stuff.

College is probably the easiest place to pull off stealing shit/b and e's and get away with it.

I never stole anything during college for $ (just as pranks like some faggot frats deer head) but there is plenty of stuff left on offer. Walk around one night and try and go in every party you se and you can probably jack 2-3 ps3s and BOOM you got ur 5 bills.
Nov 27 2012 10:43PM
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Shabbathehut
Posts: 94 - Karma: 14
Like one sweatshirt of jiberish!!!!!!!! :o
Dec 31 2012 9:37PM
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