Member of the Month

je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Airplane Stories

profile picture
Urban.
Posts: 655 - Karma: 261
Want to hear about peoples airplane stories such as the person(s) that sit next to them, the crew or the overall flight.
Nov 21 2012 8:57PM
6 0
profile picture
whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
Nothing but bratty Asians on my flights from hk to Toronto.
Nov 22 2012 9:34AM
0 0
profile picture
MASkier
Posts: 657 - Karma: 704
Damn near crashed one a few months ago.
Nov 22 2012 9:38AM
0 0
profile picture
kamron_708
Posts: 944 - Karma: 1,129
Who goes to a hiking camp except for Touring/AT or bear grylls.

Fucking fruit
Nov 22 2012 9:38AM
0 0
profile picture
Pee_and_Ski
Posts: 1869 - Karma: 57
so i cannot say this story is 100% truth, it was told to me by a guy i use to work with. but if it was going to happen to anyone Purple would definitely be the guy, yes Purple is his real name.

so he was flying somewhere and he has wicked bad adhd, this guy seriously cant sit still for 30 seconds . He decides to make some weed rice crispy treats to eat right before he gets there. So he eats them, but apparently one of the crazy hippies he lives with dosed each of the treats with acid. According to purple about 15 minutes in to the flight shit gets weird. He is basically stuck on an airplane tripping for multiple hours. He said there were snakes and other creatures floating around the plane.


Nov 22 2012 10:38AM
0 0
profile picture
KLovelace
Posts: 2118 - Karma: 289
I was trapped on a plane for 23 hours once flying from SFO to Singapore... It was in the 90s and I was an unaccompanied minor.. the flight had to stop an extra time in Shanghai to refuel and then I wasn't allowed off the plane there or in hong kong.. resulting in a total of nearly 24 hours stuck on a plane at 9 years old. needless to say.. I was not stoked.


also.. i live in the netherlands and last time I flew into the states when I went through customs I was sent to have my bag searched because I flew from Amsterdam and according to the customers officer, " uhh, you know amsterdam is one of those countries where funny stuff comes from". I gave him a really dirty look and reminded him that amsterdam is a city in a country called the Netherlands. Anyways.. they searched my bags and I had like 5 stuffed animals including an enormous panda and two mega jugs of vitamins in my carry on. it was awkward.. but I eventually was set free.

Nov 22 2012 10:45AM
0 0
profile picture
cornblatt
Posts: 35 - Karma: 52
My sister put a fake "service animal in training" vest on her large dog so that she could take it on the plane with her for free. The dog ate some rancid food prior to boarding the flight, and had terrible, overpowering gas. Then it started quivering and whining, and had a massive diarrhoea blowout in the middle of executive class. She had to hold a barf bag over its rear end to try and catch everything that was spraying out, and then she had to clean up the mess with those tiny 3"x3" airline napkins. A bunch of it soaked into the carpet and the smell was unbearable.
Nov 22 2012 11:20AM
0 0
profile picture
fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
oh the beauty that is business and first class. I'm never sitting in the back of the plane again.


Also once had a border agent in the US look at my american passport and ask me "how long will you be staying in the US sir?"

And then he got angry when I answered "presumably until I leave again."


otherwise all my stories are of being detained in paris dozens of times, and flying standby lends itself to great stories but chaotic travel.
Nov 22 2012 11:25AM
0 0
profile picture
PeteySkeety
Posts: 996 - Karma: 209
On my way back from Japan this Asian chick diagonal from me got blackout and then puked all over herself it was funny as fuck.
Nov 22 2012 1:47PM
0 0
profile picture
I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
this summer i boarded with my friends passport and boarding card and he boarded with mine passport control went smooth even though we don't look like eachother at all !

Barcelona airport security is the shit !

also this year i got a laugh from airport security at ibiza when i walked through it with my vibram five fingers :)
Nov 22 2012 1:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Lick
Posts: 1927 - Karma: 518
same here, my grandma and mom both worked for pan am and american airlines and i used to go in the cockpit all the time.
Nov 22 2012 2:11PM
0 0
profile picture
Urban.
Posts: 655 - Karma: 261
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
Nov 22 2012 3:24PM
0 0
profile picture
HARVERSACE
Posts: 763 - Karma: 372
when i was like 5, i got to go in the cockpit of the plane and got a little pilot sticker. it was so sick
Nov 22 2012 3:28PM
0 0
profile picture
GavinW
Posts: 574 - Karma: 89
shit happens all the time. I wish it was illegal to bring babies aboard planes that or they made a law to give babies sleeping pills. that would be nice
Nov 22 2012 3:32PM
0 0
profile picture
alvy.
Posts: 2134 - Karma: 377
Sorry to break it to you but your mom's a slu
Nov 22 2012 3:49PM
0 0
profile picture
doyle.
Posts: 1624 - Karma: 596
was flying from sydney to cairns at 5 in the morning when I was in Australia and 2 girls behind were fucking hammered. They were screaming at the top of their lungs and imitating all the chinese speaking passengers, just being rude to everyone
Nov 22 2012 5:10PM
0 0
profile picture
HWW
Posts: 3084 - Karma: 3,436
Haha epic.

Anyway, have you flown standby? If so, how did you get standby tickets?
Nov 22 2012 5:52PM
0 0
profile picture
FroesenSkeeze
Posts: 638 - Karma: 673
hahahaha, that's what you get from flying out of Winnipeg. Someone probably stole the landing gear.
Nov 22 2012 6:09PM
0 0
profile picture
BertBoyd
Posts: 734 - Karma: 2,253
Never Been on a plane... but this one time in a car i saw the road
Nov 22 2012 8:28PM
0 0
profile picture
fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
yea suffice to say my experiences in paris have left much to be desired.

I fly exclusively standby, but it's because I've got a family connection with the airline. So if I fly international in economy, my ticket comes to $0.00 and if i opt for first or business, it's between $100 and $250. It's amazing, minus risking not getting a seat.


otherwise I have no idea how you go about getting a ticket for it.
Nov 22 2012 8:56PM
0 0
profile picture
Z.J.H.
Posts: 842 - Karma: 1,541
My friends were watching project x on my plane to mhssc and this little kid like 8-9 ish years old walks by and he saw some girls take off her shirt. his eyes just got really big and he stopped for a second then walked away really fast.
Nov 22 2012 8:58PM
0 0
profile picture
MFM
Posts: 842 - Karma: 77

word i got to sit in the captains seat when i was a kid flying to LAX. wanted to hijack that shit so bad

Nov 22 2012 10:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Urban.
Posts: 655 - Karma: 261
NIce
Nov 22 2012 11:05PM
0 0
profile picture
volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Virgin America has easily surpassed Jet Blue as the most awesome airline. You order drinks/snacks from your TV and like 2 minutes later the attendant is there with it. No waiting for the beverage cart. And there's a virtual tab, you slide your card once at the beginning and then done. And most of the flight attendants are foreign and female and pretty.
Nov 22 2012 11:11PM
0 0
profile picture
Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
Can you imagine how strong his leg must be?
Damn.
Nov 22 2012 11:49PM
0 0
profile picture
skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
Babies should get checked with all the other luggage I don't want in the cabin.

I don't always want to punch parents, but when their baby is screaming on a plane I want to punch until there is only a bloody pulp.
Nov 23 2012 12:07AM
0 0
profile picture
volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
I mean for the courtesy of those around you at least dope them with a little benadryl.
Nov 23 2012 12:27AM
0 0
profile picture
NinetyFour
Posts: 8650 - Karma: 13,410
Small airplane story here, it's what the family biz revolves around.

Last year, some family friends had recently lost their dad, who was also a pilot, weatherman, and a very prominent local figure. They asked us to spread his ashes over some local rolling hills. My dad had already spread many ashes before, but this would be my first time doing so. We used a PVC pipe with an elbow on it pointed to the rear of our 172 so that it would create a suction in the cockpit (don't want spillage...) and mounted to the camera port. I flew me and my dad out there and then he flew while I poured. It was weird watching the ashes flow into the tube. I hadn't even been to an open casket funeral or seen ashes before in my life, so dumping some out of an airplane made for an odd first time experience of that. They were way chunkier and way grayer than I had expected. The family watched as we dumped them at about 500' AGL, and said it was spectacular. The sun had barley risen so the ashes reflected the sun well and lit up the sky according to them. They were super happy and thankful, so it was worth it in the end IMO. Oh and, there was no spillage. Due in part to my dads smooth flying, and my smooth pouring.

Weirdest shit I've done in my 18 years on this planet.
Nov 23 2012 1:10AM
0 0
profile picture
Downtofilm
Posts: 6896 - Karma: 20,395
No one on NS is part of the mile high club?
Nov 23 2012 2:40AM
0 0
profile picture
.Roockley.
Posts: 3867 - Karma: 4,093
and they have THE BEST in flight safety videos, i think if you fly with them at the moment you get this gem

Nov 23 2012 2:50AM
0 0
profile picture
TooTanked
Posts: 171 - Karma: 9
1. Some dude came out of the closet to my mom and started crying on her shoulder and shit.

2. A dog took a shit on my flight from seattle to L.A in the first fifteen minutes...i wanted to die.

3. A dog straight up died on my plane and everyone was in hysterics and crying.
Nov 23 2012 2:57AM
0 0
profile picture
will-g
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 69
Okay so I was on this airplane once and the pilot came on the speaker and said the usual things.
"We'll be traveling at about 35,000 feet..." or something like that.
So then he puts down the microphone without turning the speaker off and he turns to to co-pilot and say,

"Man right now I could use a good blowjob and a cup of coffiee."

Well this flight attendent goes zooming up the aisle to tell the pilot that the speakers on and this guy in the back yells after her,

"Hey toot's don't forget the Coffiee!"
anyone?
Nov 23 2012 11:31AM
0 0
profile picture
t_rob
Posts: 6433 - Karma: 11,459
Good Will Hunting.
Nov 23 2012 11:33AM
0 0
profile picture
Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
Oh god that is hilarious.
Nov 23 2012 12:05PM
0 0
profile picture
californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
I was flying back to school from thanksgiving break and had been parting all night. My flight was at 6am so i just never went to sleep. As soon as i got to the SFO(shitfaced still) i popped 2 vicodin to help me sleep through the day.

I then went and got a breakfast burrito. Next thing i know i wake up in the portland airport directly next to the ticket counter at the gate, on the floor with about 15 of those mini airplane pillows.

It was then i learned that you can get away with pretty much anything in airports as long as you dont look like a terrorist.
Nov 23 2012 12:35PM
0 0
profile picture
will-g
Posts: 1031 - Karma: 69
10/10, such a great movie though
Nov 23 2012 12:54PM
0 0
profile picture
volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Yep. The bar scene is my favorite.
Nov 23 2012 2:07PM
0 0
profile picture
Urban.
Posts: 655 - Karma: 261
sux
Nov 23 2012 6:25PM
0 0
profile picture
Z-Juice
Posts: 3151 - Karma: 1,504
You do win
Nov 23 2012 7:37PM
0 0
profile picture
.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
The plane had just landed in England and some bitch got her back strap stuck in the overhead compartment and was all like "I gotta cut it off" and goes at it with like a nail file. Then some guys like "Oh use this" and passes her some like 12 inch blade out of his bag and we were all like WHAAAA????
Nov 24 2012 10:43AM
0 0
profile picture
corona
Posts: 12818 - Karma: 32,995
I'm starting to think no one is. I've heard the "a friend of a friend" stories, but never anything convincing.

I'm sure it's happened on private flights loads of times, but on a public flight I'm starting to be skeptical.
Nov 24 2012 10:57AM
0 0
profile picture
KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,627
i was flying on one of those little connection planes from DC to Laguardia and we hit this giant turbulance and everyone put there seatbelts on except this one dude. Well the plane hit this random patch of weird and and dropped like 100 ft in the sky, Felt weird as shit stomach dropped thought we were going to crash. But this one guy hit the roof and was the funniest thing iv ever seen.
Nov 24 2012 10:58AM
0 0
profile picture
Heshin
Posts: 440 - Karma: 1,810
One time i got jacked off...
Nov 24 2012 11:34PM
0 0
profile picture
deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,509
Here's my one claim, Me and this girl we're going out to California together on a plane to visit her family over the summer and I decided to come along. I don't remember what the term was but she loved to have sex in public/Close to getting caught, and I hated it and it may be extremely uneasy. On the plane ride she hinted that we should go to the bathroom to have sex. I thought about it and there's no way to do it, there's no way you and the girl from the same seat can get up go to the bathroom for 20 minutes then come out and not have anyone realized what happened. And even if you could do really want to have sex in the tiny space with everyone on the plane knowing. I totally bitched out
Nov 24 2012 11:50PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 52146 - Karma: 168,473
We went fast, we went high, we were above clouds and mountains, and then we landed and I got off.
Nov 25 2012 12:03AM
0 0
profile picture
Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
#3 made me lol
Nov 25 2012 12:06AM
0 0
profile picture
Urban.
Posts: 655 - Karma: 261
bad luck
Nov 25 2012 6:49PM
0 0
profile picture
coolflash8
Posts: 3171 - Karma: 2,049
straight up lol'd
Nov 25 2012 7:14PM
0 0
profile picture
deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,509
Thread Jack I almot never fly but next year around 17 of November (Definitely not Thanksgiving weekend) I want to buy a plane ticket when's the best time to purchase one for the cheapest rate since I know what I want to leave a year in advance.
Nov 25 2012 7:31PM
0 0
profile picture
deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,509
But then don't you run the risk of not getting a ticket. And I thought if you buy a ticket at the gate it's like $700.
Nov 25 2012 7:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
Was in the front of Economy Class and was sitting diagonally across from John C Reilly in First Class.

Was on a flight from SF to LA and the plane hit a bad spot of turbulence 100% unexpected, no one had seatbelts on. Plan turned on it's side at about 24 degrees. Laptops, Ipods, pillows everywhere. The lady next to me death gripped me and my life flashed before my eyes. We landed safely.

$160 round trip from LA to Zurich. It was awesome.

Flight SF to Zurich, meal service 3 times + unlimited alcohol. I couldn't believe it.

Guy took me on a date once, let me fly a plane. Came time to land and it was too windy. Had to fly an extra 40 miles to a different airport and then take a stupidly priced taxi to get back to the car. Great date.

Partied really hard and had to catch a 7 am flight. Didn't go to bed. 7 am flight kept getting delayed, turned into a 4pm flight. I have never been so hungover/tired.

Flew from London to the US on September 11th right after the london tube bombings. Security took over 4 hours. They rescheduled every flight to make up for how long security was taking since almost no one was on time.

Mile High seems too difficult these days. Maybe on a more than half empty international red eye 747 flight so there are lots of bathrooms and most people are asleep. Some day...


Relevant: My dad takes apart crashed airplanes and sells the salvageable parts. His words of advice, if you are going to fly in a small air craft, if there is a lap belt and a shoulder belt, you're better off just doing the lap belt. If you do both and the plane crashes, you're likely to be ripped in half. He has a morbid job.
Nov 25 2012 7:42PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)