Replying to ATTENTION VEGANS: Stop Ruining Thanksgiving

Its not even thanksgiving yet, and I've already been bitched out MULTIPLE TIMES by some fucking high-horse vegans who don't approve of my holiday traditions. Well guess what? I know that I'm supporting a non-sustainable industry, I know its not nice to kill animals, I know that vegetables are healthy, but guess what else? I don't give a fuck because my turkey tastes fucking delicious. And your soy based gravy and Tofurkey both make eating dinner remind me of life in a Vietnamese POW camp, not how much I love Indians. And if I invite you to my house for dinner, and I give up watching football to make dinner for your sorry ass because your family hates you and wont let you come home for the holidays,and you show up with your own personal soy turkey because you think you're too goddamn good for my barbaric meat-thrashing, then you can eat it right out of the dog bowl. I'm sure Buck would love to share with you.

I don't care if you get off on saving the world by not eating meat. In fact, I appreciate it because in the long run you're doing me a favor, and it means there's more for me. But please for the love of eating like a human rather than a bird, keep it in your own home, and don't bring it into mine.