What's Your Number? | A LINE Skis Freeride Team Project

Member of the Month

BallClapper
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

>blacktext

profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
[img width=50]http://us.cdn3.123rf.com/168nwm/ivonnewierink/ivonnewierink1204/ivonnewierink120400054/13058201-black-teen-boy-is-having-a-fight.jpg[/img]

>i'm in science class
>we're in the middle of doing a lab
>i see my black friend talking to a girl
>i sneak up really slowly behind him
>raise my hands behind his head
>drape them very lightly over his short hair and start massaging his scalp
>alternate between firm massages and light rubs
>he starts moaning
>the girls eyes expand to the size of large coffee mugs
>eventually i stop and he turns to look me right in the eyes
>we just stare at each other
>we never speak of it again
Oct 22 2012 2:58PM
234 44
profile picture
1337
Posts: 31049 - Karma: 29,187
this video appropriately describes my reaction to this thread
>>wat
Oct 23 2012 2:53AM
2 0
profile picture
Downtofilm
Posts: 6896 - Karma: 20,395
This thread is great.
Oct 23 2012 3:04AM
0 0
profile picture
TomasAa
Posts: 585 - Karma: 699
what is this!?
Oct 23 2012 5:20AM
0 0
profile picture
TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
ns is now /b/
Oct 23 2012 7:38AM
0 0
profile picture
Bakeshow
Posts: 585 - Karma: 197
holy shit that was the funniest thing i have ever read. currently dying in math class wow.
Oct 23 2012 8:32AM
0 0
profile picture
Relish_man
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 551
>you fucking kidding me
>someones gonna backtrace it
>I'll arrested by the cyber police
>consequences will never be the same
Oct 23 2012 8:49AM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
sig'd.
Oct 23 2012 12:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Dragonite.
Posts: 1657 - Karma: 431
New favorite thread. Will contribute when I'm not on mobile.
Oct 23 2012 12:44PM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
sounds about right
Oct 23 2012 12:50PM
0 0
profile picture
Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
>Making dinner
>Start up the garlic bread
>Roll a few meatballs
>Can’t find the pasta
>Rip apart the closet and cupboards
>Collapse on the floor crying
>All the spaghetti falls out of my pocket
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
Oct 23 2012 1:45PM
3 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
Click for larger image
Oct 23 2012 4:06PM
0 0
profile picture
Chokolite
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 23
Click for larger image
Oct 23 2012 8:54PM
1 0
profile picture
LoathesRaisins
Posts: 3612 - Karma: 4,735
Got me haha
Oct 23 2012 8:58PM
0 0
profile picture
little1337
Posts: 8229 - Karma: 47,568
>Be 2
>Be breastfed
>Suck on nips all day erryday
>Bros don't even lift
> Immediately cum and start farting/crying
>Sex over
>Im pregnant
>mfw when Im a boy


:(
Oct 23 2012 9:13PM
0 0
profile picture
Ski_Alot
Posts: 5887 - Karma: 3,524
>mfw op was not a fag today
Oct 23 2012 9:16PM
1 0
profile picture
TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
>inb4 underage b&
Oct 23 2012 9:22PM
0 0
profile picture
rickroller
Posts: 2468 - Karma: 483
haha this shit!
Oct 23 2012 9:23PM
0 0
profile picture
Jblz
Posts: 556 - Karma: 206
Click for larger image

"Dear ns,
I don't know if you can hear this, but please post moar of these.

Amen."
Oct 23 2012 9:41PM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
Click for larger image

c-c-c-combo breaker
Oct 23 2012 9:43PM
0 0
profile picture
mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
>read blacktext thread
>tried to call out relish_man
>threatened with the cyber police backtrace
>relish_man won
Oct 24 2012 12:03AM
0 0
profile picture
Cotter
Posts: 2546 - Karma: 849
qfe.
Oct 24 2012 7:57AM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
Click for larger image
>just another day derping around on newschoolers
>i just got back from a run, so I'm really sweaty
>(kidding, i'm just fat)
>see thread about sports bras
>le clicky
>proceed to drool all over
>it's fap o'clock
>lean back in chair to unzip pants
>chair almost tips over completely and i jerk forward to try and balance myself
>spaghetti falls out of my shirt pocket and onto the keyboard
>mfw the faunt got bigger
Oct 24 2012 8:07AM
5 0
profile picture
netflix
Posts: 18 - Karma: 10
the things you find when crawling on the second page...
bumpity bump
Oct 24 2012 1:18PM
0 0
profile picture
RickAstley
Posts: 953 - Karma: 32
I'm honestly dying this thread is awesome
Oct 24 2012 1:31PM
0 0
profile picture
Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Click for larger image

>Be sophomore at university
>Sitting in lecture
>250 kids
>Music 133, music of the world
>Professor looks like small troll woman
>"Today we will be learning about Islamic music"
>ohgodwhy.jpg
>Playing music samples that sound like theyre out of COD or Black Hawk Down
>Displays lyrics on projector screen
>Makes class sing along with the music
>249 kids chanting in arabic
> Professor eyeballs me
> "Phil6x since youre not joining us you can do the next verse yourself"
>MFW I am expected to say "Allahu Akbar"
Oct 24 2012 1:49PM
1 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
Click for larger image
Oct 24 2012 1:53PM
1 0
profile picture
Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Very relevant.... I see that username.
Oct 24 2012 3:27PM
0 0
profile picture
NotGhood
Posts: 2809 - Karma: 1,255
dis thread man

i like it
Oct 24 2012 7:13PM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
you might even say
das it mane?
Oct 24 2012 8:51PM
0 0
profile picture
AndyGreen
Posts: 827 - Karma: 61
im dyeing right now. and i have no idea what is going on
Oct 24 2012 9:26PM
0 0
profile picture
rsvp
Posts: 1516 - Karma: 2,611
every single one that someone has tried to make up has been absolutely retarded. stop.
Oct 24 2012 10:43PM
0 0
profile picture
r32kid
Posts: 109 - Karma: 145
It seems like blacktext is just a way for someone to write a story without use of writing skills
Oct 24 2012 10:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Phil-X-
Posts: 7205 - Karma: 14,399
Even mine? :-(
Oct 24 2012 10:59PM
0 0
profile picture
rsvp
Posts: 1516 - Karma: 2,611
yours almost made me chuckle. well done.
Oct 25 2012 12:12AM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
k
Oct 25 2012 8:25AM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
Click for larger image
Oct 25 2012 12:41PM
1 0
profile picture
cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
Threads
Oct 25 2012 12:48PM
0 0
profile picture
cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
Click for larger image
Oct 25 2012 1:36PM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
wat
Oct 25 2012 1:47PM
0 0
profile picture
RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
>You dun goofed
Oct 25 2012 1:52PM
0 0
profile picture
EasyEast
Posts: 1983 - Karma: 118
i just had to remove myself from the library i was laughing sooo hard
Oct 25 2012 2:00PM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
>dayum
Oct 25 2012 4:36PM
0 0
profile picture
shuckle
Posts: 590 - Karma: 317
ermahgerd
shermlerss serlf bermp
Oct 25 2012 7:26PM
0 0
profile picture
cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
>Girl approaches
>start cumming and farting while spaghetti falls out pockets
>burst into treats
>Guy with cellphone films it and puts on youtube
>Beat rebecka friday


>I'm 15 years old
>at school on a regular day
>stay late after science class to discuss quantum physics with teacher
>realise I am late for my next class
>start to run but I am not terribly fit so I start to sweat really bad
>get to class and the teacher makes me stand infront of everyone
>realise it's penis inspection day
>teacher makes me show my penis to the class and they are all laughing
>realise there is still spaghetti on my penis from last night
>try to wipe it off as fast as possible
>start to get hard and my penis starts to hurt
>suddenly realise I am not at school and my penis is inside a wasps nest
Oct 25 2012 8:37PM
3 0
profile picture
.Jacob
Posts: 1838 - Karma: 1,160
>be today
>joking around at work talking like a pirate
>go store on lunch break
>see insanely hot girl who works there
>buy my shit walk to one set of automatic doors
>she catches up to tell me these doors don't work
> say "GYAR TIS BE RIGHT LANDLUBBER"
>leave before even checking for spaghetti

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Be last week
>Be at work
>Cute new girl working on second shift together since she started
>Has a boyfriend, but kept telling me it would probably end soon and drops hints she likes me
>She makes a small mistake with a customer
>"haha, I'm such a klutz!"
>"Haha, yeah, you should probably just kill yourself"
>"um, what?"
>Shift ends
>Never speaks to me again
>Had to clean up dropped spaghetti after work

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Be talking to girl I sort of like
> "hey anon i gotta questionnnnnn (:"
> "yeah? "
> "jw, would you theoretically date me?"
> hmmmmmmmmm
> D:
> Im just messing with you, sure
>oh okay thanks (:
> "yeah why do you ask?" spaghetti is boiling
> " I just feel that no one really likes me"
> shes really beautiful but no one thinks they should ask her out
> oh that sucks, well i don't see who wouldn't
>thanks
> I mean I like you and all
> oh really now? (:
> yeah, I do
>oh ok (:
> yup
> cool (:
> at this point I panicked for the dumbest reason and it continues like this for a few more minutes before "I have to go see what my dog is doing" and then i go invisible on skype
>sphaggeti propels me away from computer and into the next room

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>be 2
>be at pool with mom
>giant black man in pool
>"mommy, there is a gorilla in the pool."
>man laughs
>alpha as fuck even at 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oct 25 2012 8:53PM
1 0
profile picture
ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
do you even fucking lift
Oct 25 2012 9:36PM
0 0
profile picture
TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
i bet that he doesn't even fucking lift.
Oct 25 2012 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
ihitchadsgap
Posts: 472 - Karma: 55
these are funny as hell but can someone please tell me whats up with the whole spegghetti thing?
Oct 25 2012 10:16PM
0 0
profile picture
the-honeypossum
Posts: 529 - Karma: 130
horse seimen
Oct 25 2012 10:25PM
0 2
profile picture
ihitchadsgap
Posts: 472 - Karma: 55

*semen

and go fuck yourself

Oct 25 2012 10:37PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-4)