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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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I need to masturbate but my roommate never leaves the room.

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BlackCupid
Posts: 1533 - Karma: 9
Should I just go for it anyway?
Oct 18 2012 7:23PM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
Don't be that guy..
Oct 18 2012 7:23PM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
Go find a female to do it for you. Win win.
Oct 18 2012 7:24PM
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TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117
just wait till hes asleep... and jizz on his face
Oct 18 2012 7:25PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
Go do it in the laundry room into a basket of womans delicates like an adult.
Oct 18 2012 7:25PM
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Jblz
Posts: 556 - Karma: 206
this
Oct 18 2012 7:29PM
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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
go do it in the shower. or on his toothbrush
Oct 18 2012 7:30PM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
It's almost Halloween so go find a really good homeless man costume, put it on and you can choke your chicken wherever you please, nobody thinks anything of seeing a hobo beating off
Oct 18 2012 7:30PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Just turn gay
Oct 18 2012 7:38PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
Here's what you do: Get a boner. Sneak up behind roommate. Hit him over the head with your boner knocking him out cold. Beat off over his unconscious form on the ground. Problem solved
Oct 18 2012 7:41PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
invite him and some of his friends to a masturbating party.
Oct 18 2012 7:44PM
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disastertourism
Posts: 2402 - Karma: 135
soggy biscuit
Oct 18 2012 7:45PM
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Tanner-D
Posts: 2061 - Karma: 4,116
Jerk it in the bathroom bro.
Oct 18 2012 7:46PM
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JzD.
Posts: 1615 - Karma: 153
First couple seconds are relevant. You'll be fine

Oct 18 2012 7:46PM
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KANGAROOJACK
Posts: 361 - Karma: 59
this thread is why i still come on here. so many great things.
Oct 18 2012 7:47PM
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Sophistication.
Posts: 665 - Karma: 352
Play a game of cookie.


Cookie Game:

Choose a piece of food, e.g. a Chips Deluxe, that you and your male friends like to eat. Then you and your buddies form a tight circle around the food item and proceed to fervently jerk off all over it. Last one to get their jizz on the cookie has to eat it.
I'll bet they play the cookie game in the Oval Office and that Rumsfield is on a losing streak.
Oct 18 2012 9:50PM
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klayer_9
Posts: 2037 - Karma: 188
.
Oct 18 2012 9:53PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
1. Find chain that swivels. 2. Sit with back facing him 3. Wack it. 4. When he asks what your doing, swivel and cum in his eye.
Oct 18 2012 9:54PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14488 - Karma: 10,641
Come on dude, everyone knows this is called Ookie Cookie not the "Cookie Game."
Oct 18 2012 9:55PM
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fupaface
Posts: 810 - Karma: 449
just go beat off in the hall, and maybe some chick will walk by and you'll get lucky.
Oct 18 2012 9:55PM
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Sophistication.
Posts: 665 - Karma: 352
I just call it "Cookie"
Oct 18 2012 9:56PM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
ill say it. i JOed in the shower in the dorms when my roommate was around too much
Oct 18 2012 9:59PM
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robtheslobonacob
Posts: 471 - Karma: 17
AND that is why you wear flip flops
Oct 18 2012 10:04PM
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RubberSoul
Posts: 11249 - Karma: 14,642
or piss all over your feet when youre done showering!
Oct 18 2012 10:05PM
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SSteezle
Posts: 9297 - Karma: 7,713
just do it man, my roomie in college has seen me hard as granite and we're fucking bros
Oct 18 2012 10:06PM
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TOAST.
Posts: 7481 - Karma: 36,055
Kind of like fuck buddies?
Oct 18 2012 10:07PM
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robtheslobonacob
Posts: 471 - Karma: 17
your icon + comment, hilarious combo
Oct 18 2012 10:09PM
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Supergyro
Posts: 797 - Karma: 36
Make your roommate a crab meat sandwich.
Oct 18 2012 10:13PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
Click for larger image
Oct 18 2012 10:16PM
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GEORGEzimmerman
Posts: 1473 - Karma: 440
might be cus im high, idk why, but that made me burst out laughing at the image of him being "that guy" who masturbates with his roomate still in the room
Oct 18 2012 10:22PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
You're all wrong. It's called bucookie.
Oct 18 2012 10:31PM
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snakerton
Posts: 2434 - Karma: 1,977
fuck a girl dumbass
Oct 18 2012 10:48PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
you're fucked bro
Oct 18 2012 10:52PM
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SSteezle
Posts: 9297 - Karma: 7,713
hahaha nah bro, kind of like who gives a fuck
Oct 18 2012 10:53PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
shower. or wait till roommate is at some activity or in class
Oct 18 2012 11:19PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Has this worked for anyone.....ever....in all of existence?
Oct 18 2012 11:29PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
you havent lived until you've peed on your own feet in the shower
Oct 18 2012 11:30PM
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king.tubby
Posts: 2865 - Karma: 122
why do you hate kittens?
Oct 19 2012 12:10AM
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cbj
Posts: 2114 - Karma: 1,136
Tell him you have a massive headache and that you need some quiet time
Oct 19 2012 12:15AM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
Hahahahah
Oct 19 2012 12:16AM
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BEARS.
Posts: 5380 - Karma: 696
as soon as he passes out put him in a couch coffin. it'll be like you never had a roomie.
Oct 19 2012 11:55AM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,330
don't jerk off till you get laid. after day 5 getting laid gets easy.
Oct 19 2012 3:08PM
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STAUSS
Posts: 8232 - Karma: 3,311
hahaha says cumstallion
Oct 19 2012 3:12PM
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Puns
Posts: 2052 - Karma: 429
pretend you are having an extremely long coughing fit so it covers up the noise and movement. or a seizure if you want to get freaky
Oct 19 2012 3:12PM
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penguin_steeze
Posts: 2311 - Karma: 241
I thought it was called soggy waffle
Oct 19 2012 3:22PM
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
its called soggy toast.

and you dont use a cookie, you use a peice of toast.

although bucookie had me roflchoppering.
Oct 19 2012 3:55PM
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Potatoes
Posts: 1131 - Karma: 14
hit the showers. jesus
Oct 19 2012 4:22PM
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
I thought it was the wet waffle
Oct 19 2012 4:23PM
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Masta_Baka
Posts: 649 - Karma: 162
during freshman year me and my girlfriend would always try and quietly have sex with my roommate on the top bunk. a couple times he attempted to partake in conversation but that did not stop us. Cum to find out him and his girlfriend tried to do the same thing when we were on the bottom bunk. moral of the story if i can have sex with my roommate 2 feet above me and awake without getting caught you sure as hell can masturbate without him knowing.
Oct 19 2012 4:59PM
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J_BISCHOF
Posts: 2082 - Karma: 1,449
Limp Biscuit actually. thats where the band got there name. thats how they first hung out.
Oct 19 2012 5:11PM
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Masta_Baka
Posts: 649 - Karma: 162
thiss
limp biscuit
Oct 19 2012 5:13PM
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