this is kind of a stupid story, but i was wasted with my brother and a couple friends at a local bar and we run into a teacher that a couple of us had back in high school. My decides brother buys a round of shots for all of us, and asks me to give the toast. so i yell out, "to post-mature abortions" and we all drank to it, including our teacher. After we took our shots, the teacher asked me what i meant by "post-mature abortions". and i explained that it would be for the unsure parent, a little test run to see whether or not they actually will enjoy having the kid. the limit would be maybe around three or four years old" the teacher gave me the most disgusted look i have ever received in my entire life and left the bar shortly afterwords.
other toasts i use are
to AIDS
to starving African children
Juggling Midgets
Pregnant teens
ect
pretty much anything that people will blindly drink to and then say "what the fuck did i just drink to?" right afterwords