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5 Things You Don't Know About College

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mr_grom
Posts: 708 - Karma: 51
I'm doing a speech in my english class (I'm a senior in high school) on 5 things you don't know about college. The speech can be academic-based or conversational, and I'd rather go the conversational route. So I figured some of you might have some interesting/funny things most seniors in high school have no idea about until they get into college. Anything?
Oct 17 2012 11:44AM
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camstain
Posts: 1124 - Karma: 387
if you get hit by a car on campus the school will pay for your tuition.
Oct 17 2012 7:23PM
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imakestickerz
Posts: 477 - Karma: 673
i think it has to be a school owned vehicle.
Oct 17 2012 7:24PM
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roor
Posts: 946 - Karma: -80
If you get hit by a bus you could own the school
Oct 17 2012 7:26PM
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CaelW
Posts: 400 - Karma: 108
I got hit by a car last year. It's kinda fun. I should try that when I'm in highschool.
Oct 17 2012 7:27PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
Wearing your school lanyard around your neck with your school ID and dorm keys on it makes you look really cool and all the upperclassmen girls will want to have sex with you.
Oct 17 2012 7:41PM
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psizzle
Posts: 1299 - Karma: 567
this
Oct 17 2012 7:59PM
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drumbumocdp
Posts: 3229 - Karma: 1,098
Your poop is going to be very funny, and chances are you will chafe the shit out of your chapped asshole becuase they give you the shittiest TP.
Kind of on the same topic, a lot of PBR makes for a great laxative
Oct 17 2012 8:10PM
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Twinjibber77
Posts: 6239 - Karma: 2,354
Win
Oct 17 2012 8:19PM
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TOUCHE
Posts: 1183 - Karma: 162
Likely to be a rather different drug culture at a US college but over here there has been a big craze of legit crystal MDMA. And i'm talking proper uncut rocks, beats the shit out of speedy pills!
Oct 17 2012 8:22PM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
I sure hope not.
Oct 17 2012 8:27PM
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DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
yeah pretty much.
if you are a freshman, and a dude, get as much numbers while you still can without it being weird. bc pretty soon if not already no girl is gonna wanna come back to your dorm.
Oct 17 2012 8:31PM
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sneezin
Posts: 632 - Karma: 430
Alright, just over halfway into my first term at DU...

1. All days are high days. Thats expected though

Unexpected:
-Sheets don't wash themselves
-Dorm rooms don't clean themselves
-It's really not too hard to get away with drinking heavily 4+ days a week and maintain good grades
-The number of people you meet blacked out that try and say hi to you when you're sober
-The number of people who lack any intelligence whatsoever at a pretty smart school
-Rich ass roomate having a laundry service that he lets you use (best part of college)
-Rich ass roomate being a dumb fuck and fucking you over and getting you sent to detox
-Detox costing over $300
-The number of homeless people in detox
Oct 17 2012 8:46PM
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thaloot
Posts: 237 - Karma: 17

if you have a choice, dont sit on the black chairs

if you sit on the black chairs, slide your butt off of them instead of just standing up, when you need to stand up

youll learn understand why..

Oct 17 2012 8:54PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
I had this dream once that I met a chemistry graduate student who paid his bills by synthesizing pure mdma crystals that made for some of the most incredible nights of my life, one thumbprint and life became pure magic, it was incredible, no other molly could compare.

then I awoke from my dream, I've never done any drugs.
Oct 18 2012 1:23AM
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GEORGEzimmerman
Posts: 1473 - Karma: 440
heard bout this
Oct 18 2012 1:24AM
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SwagasaurusRex
Posts: 635 - Karma: 333
Im intrigued... why?
Oct 18 2012 1:47AM
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vandersteeze
Posts: 2650 - Karma: 1,511
One thumbprint is probably like 1/2 a point ahah
Oct 18 2012 1:50AM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
your TAs hate you and grade your papers while drinking
Oct 18 2012 1:51AM
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special-J
Posts: 1572 - Karma: 4,477
I just laughed so incredibly hard at this, not sure why.
Oct 18 2012 2:15AM
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pigglywiggly
Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305
holy fuck, this. i thought i was done with clueless bitches and airhead guys, boy was i wrong.

and if you choose a major thats actually worth it, and not a hobby..like art or some bullshit.. youll work your ass off to get good grades (engineering, pharmacy, pre-med, etc.)
Oct 18 2012 2:18AM
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thaloot
Posts: 237 - Karma: 17
black chairs reveal a streak of swamp ass once you lift your ass
Oct 18 2012 4:19AM
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KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,629
hahaTHIS. I actually did this a few times before i transffered since I didn't give a shit and got some grades upgraded as much as a full letter grade by literally sending out just one email
Oct 18 2012 7:45AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14490 - Karma: 10,630
This this this!
Oct 18 2012 7:59AM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,330
if you don't get laid in college you're gay.

my roomate found this out
Oct 18 2012 8:36AM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,330
i hate people who say this. were you a communication or criminal justice major? because then it's probably true.


i double majored in finance and accounting and I had plenty of fucking work. i spent at least 3 hours a day studying mon-fri. and i had plenty of hw . stfu
Oct 18 2012 8:53AM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
He was joking bruh
Oct 18 2012 1:31PM
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cheaaaaaa
Posts: 830 - Karma: 630
the first day of fall semester is National Learn To Longboard Day
... watch yourself
Oct 18 2012 1:40PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
.




All fraternities are created equal
Oct 18 2012 1:51PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,330
OH OK. i had plenty of friends who would say this and their major was communications and i would just laugh at them. or my roomate was criminal justice and i'm pretty sure he used to let his pet monkey do his homework for him.
Oct 18 2012 2:42PM
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TZA.
Posts: 1462 - Karma: 181
you might actually end up studying and pulling all nighters for school work
Oct 18 2012 2:47PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
I have an probably never will stay up all night doing school work, fuck that do it in advance
Oct 18 2012 2:49PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
He was pretty clearly joking, but I'm still calling bullshit on this. Nobody studies 3 hours a day every day.
Oct 18 2012 2:51PM
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corona
Posts: 12797 - Karma: 32,768
I bet there are some Asians who do.
Oct 18 2012 2:54PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
True. I didn't think about this. Maybe he's Asian.
Oct 18 2012 2:56PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Yeah all the losers at my school definitely do. They're mostly Asian
Oct 18 2012 2:56PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,330
and noone takes you seriously
Oct 18 2012 2:56PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Good one! You really got me, dude. Get back to studying, I bet your next statistics exam is gonna be real tough.
Oct 18 2012 2:57PM
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NBCskier
Posts: 3877 - Karma: -289
I can back this. Adderall is a friend not a foe. Zing!
Oct 18 2012 3:00PM
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zues
Posts: 6434 - Karma: -5,330
you're not worth anyones time including your own
Oct 18 2012 3:02PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Man, you're really bringing out the big guns today, huh?
Oct 18 2012 3:03PM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
Click for larger image
Oct 18 2012 3:07PM
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andstuff
Posts: 1118 - Karma: 61
Are you kidding me? Most standard majors require more than 3 hours a day. I wish I only had that amount of work.
Oct 18 2012 3:19PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Meh, maybe my roommates and I all just happened to get really lucky and pick shitty, easy majors. Three hours of studying a day sounds like the worst thing ever haha. Who would pick a major that forces you to do that?
Oct 18 2012 3:39PM
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cheaaaaaa
Posts: 830 - Karma: 630
someone that has decided what career they want to have, despite the hours required studying. I spend easily 3 hours a day studying... not that im proud of that, but theres a good reason for it
Oct 18 2012 3:47PM
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Dobies.
Posts: 1835 - Karma: 205
I'm kind of interested in this idea of 3 hours a day studying... what does one do for three hours? Do you literally read and memorize the text?


Oct 18 2012 4:33PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I was being a bit facetious there haha. I obviously realize that difficult majors require a lot of studying, but 3 hours a day seems a bit excessive.
Oct 18 2012 4:34PM
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Dobies.
Posts: 1835 - Karma: 205
Heres some things i've learned

1.) If you don't know what you want to do major wise, go to a C.C. until you figure it out. Get all those bullshit courses out of the way and literally save thousands of dollars.
2.) Don't ask personal questions in class (ex: Telling your prof that he marked your answer wrong but it isn't) -save that for after class or you will look like an idiot.
3.) Foreign Prof's are easily manipulable and if your entire class bitches, he'll most likely curve the exam
4.) There are a lot of douchebags and sluts
5.) DON'T ask a question that requires a lengthy answer 1 minute before the class is supposed to be over
6.) Cramming works
7.) Don't buy textbooks until the 3rd week of school
8.) Chapter readings usually blow and are pointless
9.) your poop will smell
10) don't wear your lanyard around your neck
Oct 18 2012 4:42PM
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Skierguy1234
Posts: 1684 - Karma: 88
well since your avatar is Pitt and I go to Pitt, I'll give you 5

1. You need to study way more than high school
2. (almost) everyone drinks, the kids that didn't drink in high school stand out like a sore thumb
3. You don't need to buy the book for every class, go to the class for a week or two and figure it out so you don't waste hundreds on a book you don't need
4. Your dick will be at least 50% wetter your freshman year of college than ever before in your life
5. greek life and other student organizations such as student government board give you a lot of very useful experience no matter your major; get involved with these things freshman year, if you want you can bail later, if you decide later you want to do stuff playing catch up is harder.
Oct 18 2012 5:37PM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
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Oct 18 2012 5:55PM
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TheBlueMtSkier
Posts: 909 - Karma: 42
No joke. Stats is nothing to fuck around with. Well, my teach is the fucking satan of grading. In my top 3 of hardest of all time.

But Yah, I easily spend 15-20 hours of week studying. More or less depending on what type of academic week I'm having.

Some things you ACTUALLY don't know about college:

1. College is a business, and will generally only see you as $$$. Can't blame em' though. I'd to the same.

2. The amount of cheating is three times that of high school.

3. Most of you're professors do not give as many fucks as you do.


Definitely recommend going to a community college that has transferable credits to a college you play on going to junior year. Seriously make sure they transfer. My first 1 1/2 years of uni have been nothing but pointless pre-reqs with a few relate able business classes thrown in. Don't pay the tuition for shit you'll never use/remember.





Oct 18 2012 6:07PM
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