According to Apple employee, Dongle Bluetooth, the company always done extensive market research before launching a new product.
“The research is codenamed iDupe,” explained Bluetooth, “and involves hanging out in the kind of artisan coffee shops where the majority of Mac devotees spend their aimless days.
“We record thousands of hours of incredibly dull conversation, then sift through all the data. Mostly it’s about how their screenplay hasn’t been produced yet because the movie world is so cliquey, or how their novel hasn’t been published yet because publishing is so cliquey, or how they still don’t have any friends because people are so cliquey.”
But, he said, researches had also seen a gap in the market. “We saw more and more of these cash-strapped hipsters who couldn’t afford an iPad Mini trying to convince friends that their old iPhone was the new miniature tablet, and we thought, KA-CHING!”
Asked if consumers would resent paying exorbitant prices for old technology, Dongle explained that Apple users were unlikely to notice.
“We’ve been selling them the same stuff under new names for years,” he said. “I mean, what do you think the iPod Touch is? It’s an iPhone that can’t make calls. Jeez, sometimes we can’t believe how easy it is to get away with this stuff, we kind of have to pinch ourselves.”
But, he said, Apple was not going to limit itself to technology in future.
“Now that we have evidence that they’ll buy anything we sell, we’re looking at a line of clothing and accessories,” said Dongle. “And we’re particularly proud of our Autumn collection, which is a range of asymmetrically cut, avant-garde jackets made from 100 percent baby chinchilla hair with giant glowing apples on the back.”
Meanwhile, fans say they cannot wait to buy the new mini iPad, and are already downloading iSleeping-bags in which they will iSleep on the iPavement outside their nearest iStore to snap up the first tablets as they become available.
“I used to be a person but now I’m an iConsumer,” said one, who had forgotten his name. “It’s so much iBetter being an iConsumer because you have so much more iChoice. As long as it’s Apple, obviously.”
http://www.hayibo.com/apple-admits-new-ipad-mini-is-just-old-iphone-with-new-sticker/
