3rd grade. She was blonde. She had blue eyes. And she lived just down the street from me. I had never properly introduced myself to her before, she and her family had moved in just a couple weeks back. So, classy little 3rd grader me decided that I shall go meet this fine specimen, maybe let her play in my backyard (I was a picky boy and didn't let just anyone play in my backyard). Anyways, I met her and she was perfect. She made me laugh and smile, she loved video games and GI Joes too! Everyday after school we'd hang out. Sometimes my best friend would even come and play with us. Us three became inseparable like sleepovers every night on weekends. We became extremely comfortable with each other. One night the girl told us something. She said that she had seen something on TV that her parents told her was 'humping'. When she said that my mind immediately said 'humping? Must mean humpback whales!' So I then laid facedown on the floor and preformed a humpback whale demonstration which basically included sticking my butt in the air and screaming 'humpback!' The girl looked at me funny and said 'no no no thats not humping silly. This is humping!' she laid me on my back and then straddled me. This had never happened before i didn't know what to do. I looked to my side and saw my guy friend staring at us with this weird smirk on his face. I looked back up and there she was still on top of me doing some weird criss-cross-applesauce mamajama and then she leaned down in front of my face and gave me a kiss. stunned, i did what i thought was best to do. I had seen movies with people kissing so how hard could it be? So i tried at this kissing thing. we laid there for a good two minutes with my friend still watching. Finally she got off. And she then did the same thing to my friend! I didn't feel any jealousy what so ever cause i didn't know how this stuff works. Like is that what is supposed to happen? Does there always have to be another guy waiting to have his go at the woman? Hell if i knew. Once her and my friend were done we decided to go to bed. it was already 7:30! After that night all i could think about was what had happened. I wanted, no, i needed more of her. We literally continued to do this for a solid two months. Over the course of those two months I experienced my first nipple touch, crotch grab, soft penis sex (does that count?), and kissing of the same sex. Yes she made me and my friend makeout. Why did we do it? I have no clue. I don't remember if i liked it or not...
I got greedy sometimes and just invited her over and not the guy. I liked it when it was just me and her cause I had all the attention! I used her. Yes I did. But I didn't understand the rules of casual sex so i thought this was completely okay. Well it turned out it wasnt. My parents finally caught wind of what was really going on. To cover up sometimes we'd say we were playing crazy eights or some game. The parents sat us down and talked to all of us and told us that this was not for children. they gave me this awkward book on sex that id read quite often to myself. For a while i wasn't aloud to hang out with that girl. Id sometimes glance down the street to see if id catch her doing something outside but i never did. When we were finally aloud to see each other again we had no intentions of reliving the past. 'Just friends' we said to each other and then we picked up our cap guns and chased some Aliens.
Why do I regret this? Because I was too young perhaps...or perhaps it was because I was completely okay with making out with a guy...either way I'll never forget it. Sometimes I wish I could cause the girl is an emo lesbian now.
Sparknotes: Had weird soft penis sex, made out with guy best friend and didn't feel bad about it, made fool out of myself for thinking 'humping' referred to humpback whales all in 3rd grade.
