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Casket Bearer

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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
So, my dear grandpa just passed away on Friday and the funeral plans are coming together, apparently I'll be one of the pall-bearers/casket bearers for his coffin.

He was an important man to me and actually the country as well, being a renowned veteran, so I'm asking if anyone else has ever done this and can you somehow mess it up even though there are six bearers? I don't wish to be the one to cause my grandpa's remains dropping onto the pavement and it's making me a bit anxious.
Aug 20 2012 5:06AM
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NSwidow
Posts: 888 - Karma: 3,222
That's horrible to hear, I hope you're okay!
I had to read a poem at my Grandmother's funeral when I was about 13. I got choked up and cried halfway through. It's tough, but there's 6 of you! So if you get momentarily weak, the others can pick up the slack while you recover! Deep breaths. :) Good luck!
Aug 20 2012 5:39AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
i'd say take the honor, it's the last thing you can do for your grandfather ....

also, you're probably going to carry the casket with 5 others so it's not going to be hard labour, i'm sure you'll do fine !

and the funeral director will probably give you a clear briefing about what you will be doing and how to carry the casket, etc. (if not, be sure to ask him/her, they'll gladly provide you with the information ...)

and ++vibes mikko !
Aug 20 2012 6:03AM
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Juicy-J
Posts: 1901 - Karma: 1,765
i had to do it when my grandfather passed away a couple years ago. It was definetly very emotional and tough to do. The actual process of carrying the casket is not hard at all though. best of luck and +vibes, sorry to hear that.
Aug 20 2012 8:34AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Yup, of course I will be doing it, I just wanted to ask if anyone here has experience on the matter, I've just seen far too many shows/movies/clips where someone slips and the corpse is slung out of the coffin...

And to Ms.Squirrel, I'm doing fine, I'm more worried about my mom and her sisters, but this was pretty much not a surprise seeing that my granddad had been in a pretty bad condition for about two months now, always bouncing back from critical condition every other week or so. A real fighter, but nothing lasts forever.
Aug 20 2012 8:38AM
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Funkadelic
Posts: 1967 - Karma: 391
I did it for my uncle a little over a year ago. It's a great honor and it's not difficult at all. There's definitely nothing to worry about.
Aug 20 2012 10:42AM
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hendriab
Posts: 990 - Karma: 404
the only funerals I have been to with Pallbearers is when the casket is placed upon a wheeled cart. the Pallbearers are there, but the cart is taking the weight of the object. Pallbearers just walk beside it.
Aug 20 2012 10:50AM
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Caucasian_Asian
Posts: 2447 - Karma: 1,665
Jeezus.  Good luck.


My Grandpa was cremated so I didn't have to think about anything like that.  But if he hadn't been, I would have been asked to be a pall bearer.  I don't think I could do that without breaking down into a blubbering fool. 

I'm pretty sure they lock caskets, so no bodies are going to "fly out" even if you drop him down the stairs.


At my Grandpas service, my sister and cousin got up and sang a acoustic version of Green Day's Good Riddance.  I don't know how they made it through the song, I was a mess.
/thread drift
Aug 20 2012 10:52AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
To Psheils and Funkadelic, thanks, even these few statements eased a load off my back, no pun intended.
Aug 20 2012 11:10AM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
This. Did it for my cousin this past fall and I felt so honored to have been asked. Not difficult at all, except when we were bringing him into the church and the aisles were way too narrow, but we managed.
Aug 20 2012 11:49AM
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stizzle
Posts: 371 - Karma: 623
Its not bad at all. Ive done it twice and the hardest thing is turning corners without stepping on the person in front of you's ankles.
Aug 20 2012 2:10PM
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king.tubby
Posts: 2865 - Karma: 122
had to do it for my grandma last spring. the actual physical aspect of it is totally easy. emotionally tough, though, for sure. sorry for your loss. youll do fine
Aug 20 2012 4:18PM
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j.saaaarela
Posts: 1859 - Karma: 856
I did it for my grandmother and grandfather. I was only 13 at my grandma's funeral, so it's not like it's incredibly difficult.

Although at my grandpa's, I did actually slip, making the turn up to put the casket on the lowering device (new dress shoes with leather soles and wet grass while carrying a heavy object with 5 other people who aren't necessarily on the same page didn't really help...) but the other pallbearers kept it up, and I felt like an idiot, but it didn't fall or anything.

It was such an honor to be a part of both ceremonies, it helped give me closure with them, and really helped me move on (I was really close with my grandparents).
+vibes man, you'll do fine.
Aug 20 2012 4:29PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Ok, this reassures me a bit again, thanks. I'm actually gonna be the shortest of the bearers, we have a very tall family.
Aug 20 2012 5:12PM
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malonius_funk
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,500
i actually did it for my grandpa last year. don't fret about it. IF you drop your area of the coffin, and thats IF (which you won't), then it would take a lot more than just you to be able to make the coffin drop. remember, there's still five other people holding the coffin, so the odds of it falling are very very low. good luck and i'm sorry to hear about your grandfather.
Aug 20 2012 5:19PM
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Dragonite.
Posts: 1657 - Karma: 431
I'm really sorry to hear about your grandpa, I hope you're ok!
Anyway, Unless you're extremely weak, you'll be ok. It'll probably be like 30 lbs for you to carry. (Don't know how much in metric)
Aug 20 2012 5:24PM
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[hamnuts]
Posts: 2356 - Karma: 439
Its a great honor, do it for your grandfather. My dad was a pallbearer for one of my best friends when she died. It was such an honor for him to do for the family and for me and I think you should take the chance. I am sorry to hear about your grandfather, it must be terrible. I am so close to all of my grandparents I can't even imagine how hard that must be. +vibes Mikko
Aug 20 2012 5:36PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Thanks.

It looks like it's gonna be one man from each branch of the family and his own son and his son right now. I'm feeling okay about this but all these kind words and a few experiences are making me feel more confident that it's not a sure "fuck-up" situation with the six of us.

Thanks all, and keep your loved ones in check.

If there are going to be any pictures of the service (I really don't know if that is too morbid) I'll post some in this thread, but I will definitely post some scans of my grandpa when we get his belongings and old war pictures...
Aug 20 2012 5:45PM
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SKI.ING
Posts: 2695 - Karma: 2,535
Same as everyone else. Did it for my aunt's funeral and it's a great honor and not hard at all. Looking back it will mean so much to you.
Aug 20 2012 5:48PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
The funeral went well, there was even an honorary troop saluting his passing, along with a choir made up of his veteran friends and acquaintances, it was pretty heart-wrenching.

The casket was definitely the the heaviest thing I've ever held in my arms and we carried it with a sort of linen which we also used to lower it into the ground. All in all, I was still pretty stressed out during the walk that I would mess up somehow, with the linen slipping through my grip and the brand new leather gloves, but everyone seemed to think we did well.
Sep 6 2012 3:00PM
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JAHpow
Posts: 7282 - Karma: 17,175
Glad to hear everything went well, +vibes man
Sep 6 2012 5:54PM
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CriesAfterSex
Posts: 123 - Karma: 41
Vibes man, sorry to hear about your loss.
Sep 6 2012 11:31PM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
I was a pall (sp?) bearer when i was like 12. If a 12 year old can do it and not fuck up, you can too.
Sep 6 2012 11:35PM
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.RYAN66
Posts: 5381 - Karma: 235
I was one for my grandmother last year. I was thinking the same thing you were, I wanted to do it but I was afraid I would screw up and I was pretty emotional since how close we were. Looking back I am so glad I did it I would feel so bad if I didn't.
Sep 7 2012 9:55AM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
i really doubt you're gonna be putting it on your shoulders like you see in the movies/tv/news/military funerals. don't worry about it.
Sep 7 2012 3:27PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
looks like this went down already. i should start reading threads all the way through.
Sep 7 2012 3:28PM
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