Dear NS,
After a night of deep contemplation and ample doses of acid, I have come to the conclusion that our world is doomed. We are all doomed. Our materialistic culture and schizophrenic obsessiveness with meaningless celebrity propaganda will be our greatest faults when we look back on our once beautiful world from the depths of stalagmite-infested caves in Central America. Our mahogany veneers and granit countertops will melt in the flames of the apocalypse. Your semen-filled vacuum cleaners will be obliterated. Your issues of US Weekly will be eradicated.
But do not fear, for I shall lead you all into the chaos of anarchy and libertarian values full heartedly! I am your savior. I am the reincarnation of Christ. I am the Reincarnation of Allah. I am the reincarnation of Joseph Smith. I am all the world's deities, but also non at all.
Fallow me! I alone can save you!