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Standing or Sitting?

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gravel
Posts: 5518 - Karma: 42,202
Okay, so this is going to seem like a really shitty (literally, too) thread topic, but I'm genuinely interested. Let's just say I was taking a shit, no toilet paper left, asked my friend to get some for me, he said I could just stand up and get it, that's how you wipe, anyway... Not me, I continued to argue that I wasn't about to stand up and walk while I had shit all over my rear. After a very heated argument I forced him to get it, but we still have not come to a conclusion of which way is the "right" or "majority" method of wiping. I'm a sitter, i don't fucking understand why people would stand, it'd mush the poop between your ass cheeks and such.

So, NS, do you wipe standing or sitting?

I fucking hope this doesn't come back to haunt me because I'm not using an alias.


inb4 I don't wipe
Jul 26 2012 2:52PM
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ihitchadsgap
Posts: 472 - Karma: 55
who the fuck stands to wipe their ass!!!!???
Jul 26 2012 2:53PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
your friend is weird.... always sitting.
Jul 26 2012 2:53PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
Believe it or not, this has actually been a several page thread. I'm not going to hold it against you though, since it seems pretty obscure that it has come up before.
Jul 26 2012 2:53PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
repost

sitting
Jul 26 2012 2:54PM
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cubber
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 638
When my friend poops (open door policy so everyone knows you're pooping) and he feels confident that it slid out in a spotless manner, he doesn't even touch the TP
Jul 26 2012 2:55PM
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mowglii
Posts: 545 - Karma: 339
hahahah when i was a kid a had a similar conversation with a friend except I was the one who stood up to wipe my ass lol. I dunno why i did, it was just instinct. But he assured me I was wrong so now i do it proper like and remain seated. I aint embarrassed
Jul 26 2012 2:56PM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
I do kind of a hybrid. Start sitting, once I'm satisfied I've cleaned as much as I can in that position, I stand for a little extra clean.
Jul 26 2012 2:58PM
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Crossfade
Posts: 743 - Karma: 24
Sitting for shitting, then I stand up to piss like a man.
Jul 26 2012 3:01PM
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lizard.stuff
Posts: 900 - Karma: 1,284
.
Jul 26 2012 4:08PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
I can't hold in a piss that long. I normally just go before, or in the middle of.
Jul 26 2012 4:11PM
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taylornicky
Posts: 2889 - Karma: 2,579
I don't poop.
Jul 26 2012 4:47PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,351
im such a stereotypical lazy american i pee sitting down just so i dont have to stand
Jul 26 2012 4:50PM
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jibmeisterflex
Posts: 719 - Karma: 63
i don't stand, i do a sort of bent over crouch so my ass cheeks don't touch each other.
Jul 26 2012 4:53PM
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seward
Posts: 5233 - Karma: 2,174
bingo.

this man knows what proper shits are about
Jul 26 2012 5:00PM
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fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
this is the proof that no matter how many people of different backgrounds/locations you have, conversations will always come full circle.

There have actually been multiple threads on the topic.

What's always astounding is that the sitters are shocked that standers exist, and vice-versa. It's like two secret worlds that don't know the other exists.
Jul 26 2012 5:03PM
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Gods_Father
Posts: 1466 - Karma: -284

sit down and lean to the side

if you have a messy poo and stood up you could get a fece on your nuts

Jul 26 2012 6:26PM
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m-tang
Posts: 340 - Karma: 97
Dont worry my friends and I have debated this a couple times. With that said,

standing.
Jul 26 2012 6:31PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
STANDING. and you're a moron of you do otherwise
Jul 26 2012 6:41PM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
The real question is do you crumple or fold. I met a folder two weeks ago and was absolutely floored at the thought of it.
Jul 26 2012 9:56PM
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PeteSpin
Posts: 316 - Karma: 18
I've been a sitter my whole life. Even though I've been introduced to some standers, I can't understand the concept. Part of it's because I'm 6'6" so anytime I stand in a stall I've either got to introduce myself or stay facing forward. Also, folding all the way. Crumpling sounds just awful.
Jul 26 2012 10:04PM
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DYFI
Posts: 3836 - Karma: 30
I use to stand, like a pirate captain with one leg up on the toilet. Then i remember i had to shit in a realllyyyy small bathroom, and there was no way to stand so i just leaned and cleaned. Never went back.
Jul 26 2012 10:20PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
I normally wipe lying down. I use dirty clothing and spare toilet paper to make a makeshift bed
Jul 26 2012 10:24PM
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.qzyxya
Posts: 1479 - Karma: -26
How do you have so much shit left on your ass that it could fall off on the ground or something? That's gross.
Jul 26 2012 10:29PM
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gravel
Posts: 5518 - Karma: 42,202
this is me. i did the same pirate captain shit. but now i'm a sitter.
Jul 27 2012 2:20AM
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gravel
Posts: 5518 - Karma: 42,202
fair enough
Jul 27 2012 2:21AM
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Dlud
Posts: 938 - Karma: 544
I would like to impose another question, do you wipe with your hand in front or behind you?
Jul 27 2012 2:29AM
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84west
Posts: 646 - Karma: 1,254
.

I generally sit, have stood on occasion though when shitting in the woods.
Jul 27 2012 2:32AM
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Dlud
Posts: 938 - Karma: 544
You reach forward, puting your arm between your thighs, underneath your balls.
Jul 27 2012 2:33AM
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easiestEC
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 489
um sitting? isn't that how everyone does it?
Jul 27 2012 2:35AM
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so_gangk
Posts: 530 - Karma: 94
i used to roll the toilet paper around my hand and make a glove to wipe with. but now i think i crumple not a hundred percent though i will get back to you on that one after i take my next shit ns
Jul 27 2012 2:43AM
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sirschralpalot.
Posts: 453 - Karma: 18
I aleays wipe standing. You never know when a fight or flight situation is going to arise while taking a nice dump.
Jul 27 2012 2:44AM
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HolySchimmel
Posts: 1601 - Karma: 1,297
kinda doing the same I guess :D
Jul 27 2012 2:51AM
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Straightthuggin
Posts: 548 - Karma: 26
i stand.. ive never tried sitting but ill do it right now..
Jul 27 2012 2:52AM
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KANGAROOJACK
Posts: 361 - Karma: 59
1. there's a good chance i'm gonna sig that.
2. who the fuck crumples?
Jul 27 2012 3:08AM
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Rialb
Posts: 565 - Karma: 154
Who the fuck folds?

MY WORLD IS UPSIDE DOWN
Jul 27 2012 11:41AM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
I'm a sitter with a little side tilt action. And I'm a folder, crumpled is just weird to me.
Jul 27 2012 11:48AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51662 - Karma: 162,459
Oh wow, another thread on this topic

I only shit while jumping on the trampoline and wipe while spinning cork 12's
Jul 27 2012 11:51AM
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llambert
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 81
women under 40 dont poop
Jul 27 2012 11:51AM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
Standing, mostly. Sometimes sitting if the toilet is deep. How the hell are you supposed to reach under there and wipe? I feel like standing is just much easier, and its not like I stand up and walk around getting shit all over my cheeks. Stand up wipe and done.
Jul 27 2012 12:09PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627

I was thinking the same thing and KNEW it was a wiping thread when I saw it hahaha. 

Seriously though, when you stand up you totally lose your cheek spread- how are you supposed to minimize poo->epidermis contact taht way???  It just defies poop removal logic.   

Jul 27 2012 12:12PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
me thinks you lean to one side, brainiac.
Jul 27 2012 12:14PM
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KravtZ
Posts: 6637 - Karma: 2,629
i was a previous stander up to a few years ago. Sitting keeps your cheeks real clean. The azzhole is always spread so it doesnt get everywhere and its just a little tip to the side to get under there. The only doubt to it is you can't really see your masterpeice. There is no way in hell that standing > sitting. Sitting produces so much more quality wipes.

On to the next topic. At this new era of sitting, a friend introduced me to folding. It blew my mind as i didn't even think about folding i was always one to just grab a crap load of tp and crumbe it up. Folding is way better. You can scoop out way more poo, and its cleaner. Crumbling spreads the poo all over.
Jul 27 2012 12:16PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627

Worst.  Idea.  Ever. 

You mom teach you that back-to-front bullshit?  Ugh.  Talk about shitty balls. 

Jul 27 2012 12:16PM
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esotericjive
Posts: 1889 - Karma: 1,445
this
Jul 27 2012 12:20PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25
Atta girl.
Jul 27 2012 12:29PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25

How would you even know? I refer you to Jane6's post as quoted above and politely ask you to leave.

I rock the cheek-spread half stand/ squat. i am also a crumpler and alternate front-back/ back-front.

Jul 27 2012 12:32PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
lol he's a he not a she
Jul 27 2012 12:33PM
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Alexander_Keith
Posts: 3204 - Karma: 25

Foiled by the pinkname.

Good sir Huck Norris I ask your forgiveness and beg you continue your relevant discussion.

Also I mean tee.en.ell, not Jane6. Failing at NSG today.

Jul 27 2012 12:36PM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
are you in 5th grade?
Jul 27 2012 4:43PM
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james6345789
Posts: 4763 - Karma: 467
I'm. ZyNder
Jul 27 2012 4:48PM
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