A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
> Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked,'What
> are all those clocks?'
>
> St. Peter answered, 'Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
> Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move.'
>
> Oh,' said the man, 'whose clock is that?'
> 'That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she
> never told a lie.'
>
> 'Incredible,' said the man. 'And whose clock is that one?'
>
> St. Peter responded, 'That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have
> moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.'
>
> 'Where's John Kerry's clock?' asked the man.
>
> 'John Kerry's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling
> fan.'
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