Here's the deal...public toilets suck these days.
Had no one ever started this stupid pop-a-squat or toilet-seat-cover trend, we'd have the same clean toilet seats we had for decades. What diseases did people get from toilet seats? I mean really, were the chances of disease higher than they are today? With pee all over the seats from people squatting, and toilet seat covers spot welded to seats with spattered urine-- often times clogging the toilet entirely. I say, we all get over it, sit on the God damned seat and stop our useless methods of protecting ourselves from cooties. I used to see clean toilet seats everywhere-- now it's nothing but urine spray and remnants of toilet seat covers.
and also....I'm out of vodka.