Replying to Pizza Delivery Stories

Some weird shit has happened to me since I started doing deliveries for my local Domino's Pizza. Sometimes the job is great and sometimes it sucks ass. Here are some good reasons why...

When it comes to drunk people they're always a hit or miss. If you get the happy Friday night drunks you can expect to get much love and usually a fat tip. Other times they're just stone cold assholes. The biggest tip Ive ever received though was from a guy who was so utterly shithoused he almost falls through the doorway when he opens it. The total was around 15 bucks so the guy pulls out two twenties and hands em to me...."I don't think I have enough to make change for this sir". He pauses and grunts "ohrrr.. ffffuurck". He Takes out another twenty and hands it to me. Before I can say anything he slams the door and locks it. I walked away with huge grin and a 45 dollar tip on that one.

Delivering to trailer parks suck. The people are Jerks and nine times out of ten your not getting tipped. So one day I'm delivering to the trailer park and I finally find the trailer. I knock on the door and from inside I hear  " Spidey senses tingling the pizzas here!" Lo and behold a guy in a full Spiderman suit answers the door and exclaims "hello citizen!". I start bursting out laughing but Spiderman just looks on from behind his mask. We complete the transaction and I say "Have a good one Spiderman" to which he replies "Have a spidey day!". He had to have been the real deal too because he tipped me 5 bucks.

Middle schoolers are usually the worst. They always got something to say or try. One kid we at the store like to call lard-o, is especially this. At least 4 or 5 times a week this kid will order the same extra large pizza with extra chese and pepperoni. He has to weigh at least 300 pounds and his parents are never home(???). He will usually tell you to get lost after he hands you exact change and money, he likes to open the box and if there isn't enough pepperoni he wants another one. Drivers in the past have cussed this kid out and have been written up after the kid calls management and complains. Thankfully he doesnt order as much but when I leave in the fall Im making sure that fat fucker gets a care package.

Im off to drink away my stresses. Peace Newschooler's stay frosty.