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Bad timing (poop talk)

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JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
i always have to take shits at the worst times. ill be in the car in the middle of no where and have to take a shit. ill be watching the nba finals and have to take a shit. i missed henriks nose butter dub 10 because i had to take a shit. i always have to shit at the worst times. why cant i just shit when im already in the bathroom. fuck pooping
Jun 17 2012 9:25PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Can you not control it??
Jun 17 2012 9:28PM
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Squeenerd
Posts: 731 - Karma: 186
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Jun 17 2012 9:31PM
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Glone
Posts: 333 - Karma: 223
To become a poop master, you must learn to control you crap-urges
Jun 17 2012 9:32PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
i never have that problem. my body is pretty smart. it knows if im going to be stuck in an airplane or in a car for an extended period of time and i wont have to piss, shit, eat, drink, anything. it's kind of like a mini hibernation mode, but i dont even control it. my body just knows..
Jun 17 2012 9:35PM
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edai
Posts: 4987 - Karma: 4,653
This.

My body only has to fart or shit when I'm alone. Pissing is different, I can't control is as well, but can hold it for at least an hour or so. A solid shit I can hold for around 4-5 days though.
Jun 17 2012 9:52PM
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DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
not normal or healthy at all
Jun 17 2012 9:55PM
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E__
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 4,635
I have diarrhoea right now, I can feel it. Gotta drop one soon.
Jun 17 2012 9:55PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
i dont give a fuck if im driving and i need to shit i just drop it in my hand and throw it out the window
Jun 17 2012 9:56PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
this. optimal is 1 movement per meal
Jun 17 2012 9:57PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
yeah!
Jun 17 2012 9:57PM
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Spaceberg
Posts: 394 - Karma: 12
This, just learn to hold that shit in (pun intended)
Jun 17 2012 9:59PM
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POW-WOW
Posts: 1464 - Karma: 46
It could be worse, Bad Luck Brian always seems to shit at terrible times.
Jun 17 2012 10:00PM
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jorb.co
Posts: 2581 - Karma: 468
this thread reminded me that i have to poop
Jun 17 2012 10:01PM
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edai
Posts: 4987 - Karma: 4,653
Right? I know it's not healthy, but if the need be, just cut down on the food a little, clench up and get with it. You might put on a few pounds and be a little uncomfortable, but if you're at somebody else's house, you do what you gotta' do.
Jun 17 2012 10:01PM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
This gets me in way too much trouble.
Jun 17 2012 10:05PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Use "do what you gotta do" backwards here. You gotta go so go quit being a poooooos
Jun 17 2012 10:05PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
i just let out a poop that's been in the cellar for 4 days. it was about 4 chunks all almost the exact same shape, i laughed when i saw them
Jun 17 2012 10:05PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
definitely not.
Jun 17 2012 10:06PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
it's true, he does

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Jun 17 2012 10:10PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Optimal but not practical
Jun 17 2012 10:10PM
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Squeenerd
Posts: 731 - Karma: 186
same. When backpacking i only feel the urge to poop every 2-3 days or so.
Jun 17 2012 10:14PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
I poop once a day. any more usually means I've been drinking or eating Mexican food
Jun 17 2012 10:17PM
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E__
Posts: 5751 - Karma: 4,635
This. Drinking gives me the shits. That's what I just took.
Jun 17 2012 10:28PM
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little1337
Posts: 8241 - Karma: 47,856
I poop at about 6:30 to 7:00 in the morning and again at 8:30 to 9:00 at night.
Jun 17 2012 10:44PM
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JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
or beans
Jun 17 2012 10:55PM
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JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
or beans
Jun 17 2012 10:55PM
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Amadeus.
Posts: 3050 - Karma: 382
During school days i normally take a shit when i get home and then one before i go to bed, and then on weekends/ summer i always take a mid day or afternoon shit plus a shit before i go out. I got it on lock.
Jun 17 2012 10:56PM
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CheddarJack
Posts: 5203 - Karma: 7,380
I envy you for you being able to drop one diarrhea
Jun 17 2012 11:02PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
i just got over pooping right after showering. that was a bad three month period.

Jun 17 2012 11:03PM
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elemeno89
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 79
well actually you probably saved yourself the turmoil of watching a brutal sport with that one.
Jun 17 2012 11:06PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152

ahaha. plus I think DVR and TIVO were specifically designed with bowel movements in mind.

I wouldn't know, though. I'm a girl and do not take shits.

Jun 17 2012 11:09PM
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Casey
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 24,308

I work construction, so any shit I have to take at work is bad timing because I have to shit in a nasty ass honey bucket. But one time I was trying to fart like 15 minutes into my shift, and just blasted a bunch of watery shit mixture by accident instead. I went into the honey bucket for like a half hour trying to clean it up and assess whether or not I should just go home. Long story short I ditched my shit stained underwear, wiped down my legs and ass as best I could and toughed it out for the next 7 hours, but the chaffe was unbearable.

Jun 17 2012 11:17PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
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Jun 17 2012 11:20PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
HA!
Jun 17 2012 11:29PM
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Ryan_w._Campbell
Posts: 17 - Karma: 18
ROTF LMFAO
Jun 17 2012 11:36PM
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Will.T
Posts: 3453 - Karma: 1,281
hahahahahaha
Jun 17 2012 11:37PM
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skipaparazzi
Posts: 102 - Karma: 27
Some people talk shit, some people can't shit
Jun 18 2012 12:03AM
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K-Dot.
Posts: 3739 - Karma: 7,737
really? i poop in the while im in the shower/tub
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Jun 18 2012 12:51AM
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LDV
Posts: 516 - Karma: 25
First thing I do when I get home from a road trip or a night I don't sleep at home is take a shit. Reclaiming my throne.
Jun 18 2012 12:53AM
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sir_drums_a_lot
Posts: 335 - Karma: 14

There was only one fight in middle school as far as I knew, but I was in the shitter when it went down at lunch and would have had a front row seat had I not been in the can.

Jun 18 2012 1:05AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
wasn't this condition called 'defecatio intempestivus' or something ?
Jun 18 2012 3:26AM
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cornholio
Posts: 3952 - Karma: 3,057
no thats the spell from harry potter
Jun 18 2012 5:53AM
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Casper.
Posts: 622 - Karma: 65
Nice touch
Jun 18 2012 10:56AM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
i think it's photoshopped, i can tell it by the pixels ...
Jun 18 2012 11:27AM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
i just had the funniest thing, came home from work, had to poo, got to the toilet, sat down, started pressing, then thought fuck! i forgot to takr my pants off! was just in time for the atomic bomb
Jun 18 2012 11:38AM
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JWeinstock
Posts: 3439 - Karma: 1,352
that could have been bad...
Jun 18 2012 3:43PM
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