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Not sure if I want to go home ever...

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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
Spark notes provided at the bottom


Just sitting hear in philly right now listening to some tunes and thinking. Been on my mind for a while though. Now that there was a sensible point to head home after atlantic city this weekend, im thinking I don't know if I want to go home ever.

Not saying I have a great plan or ideas just more that I don't want the adventure to end. Despite some bad shit here and there it's been an awesome time. Met so many more cool people, saw some of my best friends that I hadn't seen in years. Ran into one kid in tennessee I hadn't seen in at least 4 years, really hung out with since 06/07.

I just feel like if I go back I just don't want to get into a rut. I mean if I go home it's not like I have to stay there but there's just been a lot of shit there. Some good people but it's a place I've never fit in, that was never for me. One good friend in the same boat and just a bunch of strangers I don't feel like will ever be real friends.

On this trip I've felt like for the first time I'm not missing anything being sober. I was able to rock some stuff out sober, but there was always the feeling that it would have been this much better if I had some of this or that. Now I really feel hat life is just amazing. I don't have a problem with any of it. I'm not anti drug. Fuck, I just did a bunch of shows and festivals, but I just feel like for me something finally clicked. Quitting everything was one of the hardest things I did but something I needed to do. I just feel like I've figured some shit out, even though I still don't have a game plan for anything. I've figured me out I guess. Like having one of those epiphanies from tripping really hard with but having not done any drugs.


Idk if that makes any sense. I just don't want to go back home and fall back into ruts I've broken out of, especially after all that's happened in the last few months, especially this last month so far. At the same time I really don't have a plan, I don't really know where I want to go or what I want to do. I'm thinking of just drawing names of places and driving there and deciding if I want to kick it there or move on.




Sparknotes : Had a great time, feel like I have my life on track but have no real plans or ideas. Don't want to go back home and get sucked back into old habits with in a shitty places, but don't have any real ideas of where to go or why.

Thinking of just moving around for the rest of the summer and then choosing another random location for this winter maybe.
---------------------------------------



Is that absolutely retarded or does that make sense in anyway? Probably a bad idea to think out load but whatever. I really don't care. Anyone else in a similar spot or have any advice or ideas?
Jun 13 2012 6:45PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,676
inb4
Click for larger image
Jun 13 2012 6:47PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
Well move that's what I did.
Jun 13 2012 6:49PM
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armadaski44
Posts: 481 - Karma: 15
well its not absolutley retarded. Just slightly. Your logic of not wanting to get stuck in a rut and back to old habits deffintely makes sense. But your really gonna need to find a place that makes you happy; where you can be employed and live a life worth living. I don't suggest just moving around until your money runs out; which im sure isnt what you had in mind, but as undecided as you are, it could very well be what happens. Theres a real chance for failure here, but if this is something you really need to do for yourself, and something that makes you happy then dont let it go. Give it everything you have and be willing to face the tough times that will surely come with this type of move. Best of luck man, good luck with the sobriety. 
Jun 13 2012 6:50PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
i've been in a very similar position at one point in my life. it actually changed my life for the better forever. i ended up moving back home, going to grad school, meeting the girl of my dreams, getting a professional career, buying a house on the water and a boat, and all around life is just awesome. now don't get me wrong, it hasn't all been puppies and rose pedals, but all in all an awesome revelation.

unfortunately, i can't tell you what to do in your situation. just keep plugging ahead. temptation will certainly knock on your door, but try and resist the urge to fall back in to old habits. not to say that that has to mean total abstinence, but don't allow it to become a day in and day out thing. congrats, and good luck, dude.
Jun 13 2012 6:54PM
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Huck_Norris
Posts: 11487 - Karma: 18,627

Do it.  Pick a spot that has interested you, and go see what it's all about.  Soak it all up while you're free because sooner or later you won't be able to. 

Wish ya the best dude.  Always wished I could do that. 

Jun 13 2012 7:01PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
Come crash at my place
Jun 13 2012 7:02PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
Come crash at my place
Jun 13 2012 7:02PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
I've been happy just moving around meeting new and cool people everywhere, REAL people, which seems to be a hard quality to find some places.

Financially it has been pretty good so far. But yeah, not having anything consistent locked in can be stressful and unreliable but damn it's nice to not be tied down.

But I feel like it's kind of what I need to do for a while. I feel like that's when I've been the happiest. That for me has been a struggle. In the winter not as much in the rest of the year sometimes a bitch.


We'll see what happens I guess.
Jun 13 2012 7:20PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
what part of the world is that? Im not good at leaving the country
Jun 13 2012 8:44PM
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bakedpow
Posts: 8770 - Karma: 10,467
Go shred your heart out this winter.
Jun 13 2012 8:46PM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
i weren't you getting married or something?
Jun 13 2012 8:59PM
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EricaMN.
Posts: 2704 - Karma: 347
i weren't so too?
Jun 13 2012 9:13PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
def this. Not sure where.

Def going to try to kick it somewhere nice this winter. Might go back to nh but idk.


Winter is gonna be awesome.
Jun 13 2012 9:52PM
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-GL-
Posts: 1696 - Karma: 37
Never settle down brother, the world is a big place go and explore it all. I personally think family and friends from back home are important so I mean visiting them is always cool but IMO you should just roam man thats my plan try to experince all different cultures all over the place.
Jun 13 2012 10:09PM
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ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
^
Jun 13 2012 10:10PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
I like this guy. Plus k




I feel like most people are to comfortable with conformity in life. People have dreams but just ditch them to follow the heard.


People live most of their lives a certain way because "that's what you're supposed to do". Fuck that shit.

Maybe I'll settle down sometime but not now.
Jun 13 2012 10:24PM
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bakedpow
Posts: 8770 - Karma: 10,467
What im doing next winter.

Buying myself a sled and got a nice 4 season tent, im gona be living out in the NW wilderness next winter.

I need a year to kinda just get things settled a bit before I decide what i wanna go off and do.
Jun 13 2012 10:37PM
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easiestEC
Posts: 2471 - Karma: 489
i've been doing this for a couple years. found myself in maine a year and a half ago and since then i've been around on the west coast. im 21 and have no direction or sense of what i want to do with my life. my suggestion, live it up while you can, you only get one chance
Jun 13 2012 10:42PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
just dont eat the wrong peas or whatever the into the wild guy did
Jun 13 2012 11:26PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
word. That's what I'm thinking. I moved out of my house in nh in march to go on tour and haven't been tied down to shit since that. Not going to let myself get tied down to anything at least till next winter.

There's still some states I've never been too. Sucks that gas is so pricey.
Jun 13 2012 11:30PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
THIS WHOLE THREAD IS BULLSHIT BECAUSE THE OP IS IN PHILLY.

PHILLY FUCKING SUCKS.

THE ENTIRE STATE OF PENNSYVLANIA IS A FUCKING COCOON OF FAGGOTRY AND BULLSHIT. IF THE OP WERE ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD THIS THREAD WOULD BE OK BUT BECAUSE IT TAKES PLACE IN THE STATE OF PENNSYVLANIA THE WHOLE THING FUCKING SUCKS.


look buddy, i live in westchester, you arent kidding anyone, you arent "happy" or "content" you are just confused. cross the northern border to new york, or the border to delaware (i dont suggest jersey or west Virginia ) theres nothing wrong with ohio (except the snow and the rain) and conneticut is actually a pretty cool place too.

i cant speak for maryland because ive never been there, but i wouldnt chance it. so first you need to locate yourself to a better geographical location (outside the shithole godawful fuckstain of a state that is pennsylvania) and then re-evaluate life. because this whole state is fucking gay and i cant wait to finish my business here and move the fuck back home.
Jun 13 2012 11:52PM
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bakedpow
Posts: 8770 - Karma: 10,467
Go west.
Jun 13 2012 11:54PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
i agree with the absence or real people nowadays


i don't know you or anywhere near your whole story but in my experiences, i'm perfectly content with having no gameplan or no plans for the future. for me, i'm happiest and most relaxed about things when they could go any way. doing things last minute and in general just going wherever the wind blows has always made me feel better than planning them out ahead of time.


sadly, it seems nearly impossible to live without any obligations. the only way i see it being possible is if we work our asses off now, make bank, and then live obligation free once we have a more than sufficient base to live off of.
Jun 14 2012 12:14AM
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skiskate
Posts: 787 - Karma: 823
I moved away from home at 17, been on the road basically for 4 years now. Had the absolute time of my life being a nomad. I headed west at 19 and that was the best choice of my life. Skied so much and just my quality of life has improved so much.

Be free and roam while you can, when your an old man youll look back and be so happy you did stuff like that.
Jun 14 2012 12:18AM
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cwphoto
Posts: 2332 - Karma: 780
ohios not fun. pretty sure our economy isn't great (don't know anything about it though), theres not much skiing, PA at least has 7 springs. this past winter it snowed once in springfield, and that was about 1 inch.


i would find a cool place out west, get a job in a ski shop or something
Jun 14 2012 12:24AM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
and i'd like to quote Charlie Chaplin here....

"our knowledge has made us cynical; our cleverness, hard and unkind, we think too much and feel too little. more than machinery we need humanity, more than cleverness we need kindness and gentleness."


i wish people would just realize that life is a one way journey and set out to make their lives amazing. i'm trying to do just that, but its very difficult when almost nobody understands the way i think. the way i see it, if one small thing makes you happy, go after it. if skiing makes you happy, spend your whole life skiing. if skateboarding is your thing, do that. for me, these things overrule money, success, and health. happiness > everything else. i don't care if i'm poor, sick, and living on the streets, as long as i'm happy, i'll be okay... and i believe that no matter what the circumstances are, you can always be happy.
Jun 14 2012 12:29AM
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DrZoidberg
Posts: 5675 - Karma: 4,268
Jun 14 2012 12:42AM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
fuck it man, do what you want to do. do it and love it and don't ever regret it because it's your life, not anybody elses.

i'm 17. i don't have a plan, i don't have any incredible talents, school doesn't interest me, i'm not going anywhere with sports, and i certainly cannot sustain myself with my current job... but the one thing i've known since the moment i realized i'd have to work one day is that i will NEVER sit in an office cubicle doing work i don't want to do. i'm not an idiot, i realize that i will have to work hard to achieve the things i want in life, but i certainly don't have a gameplan.

congratulations on being one of the few other people i've seen who have "figured it out". i don't know how to describe it, but life is taken too seriously now. i don't want to change the world, i don't expect i ever will. my only wish is to enjoy my time here and hopefully help others enjoy their time as well, because that's what it's all about in the end, isn't it?

were all on a one way trip, were all along for the ride, were all brothers and sisters in this incredible journey. the problem is that many people are afraid, and in their attempt to be happy they resort to greed. if everybody worked together, life could be amazing for EVERYONE. sadly, humans are stuck fighting over material objects that have no effect in the long run, because in the long run, nothing really matters besides the memories we make. no material object is worth fighting for, period, yet we cling to material objects as if they'll add value to our lives on earth.



Jun 14 2012 12:43AM
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DirtYStylE
Posts: 3652 - Karma: 8,888
Welcome to the club. Life feels good man


I give into temptations way too easily. Especially when they are just sitting in front of my face, or when someone makes me offers. Staying sober is something that I would like to do. Being clean for an extended amount of time is an amazing feeling, but so is getting high...
Jun 14 2012 12:54AM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
As my friend says, were in a recession, no one has jobs anyways, so we might as well do what we love. Just dip hard man, thats what i plan on doing once high school ends, 379 days left until im gone, can't really wait. But at the same time, i'm going to make the most out of next year.
Jun 14 2012 1:02AM
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KEVTRON
Posts: 3545 - Karma: 1,222
My home is your home. Just say the words and we will look for an apartment with one more bedroom in Toga. I would also love to move to Burlington at some point in time. Get me a park Crew spot in NH this coming season and ill go down there with you. Maybe we can go out west this coming season for a couple weeks (I get free airfare and maybe I can get some discounted tickets). Miss you bro, cant wait for Phish.
Jun 14 2012 1:13AM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
Norway brother
Jun 14 2012 7:57AM
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Rachy
Posts: 4355 - Karma: 2,761
Keep moving. In the last 3 years I have lived in Los Angeles, Minneapolis, Frisco (Breckenridge area), Mammoth, and now Luzern, Switzerland. It's been FUCKING AMAZING! In the last 3 years, I have managed a hotel, worked in ski shop, worked marketing for a ski resort, modeled, been unemployed, been funemployed, written professionally, and now own my own business.

I have my 10 year highschool reunion next summer. I'm going to be unmarried, have no kids, possibly show up single, but have more stories and awesomeness than pretty much anyone there (given that awesomness is a relative term).

I finally figured out that of all those places Mammoth is home and I like running my own business and being a ski bum more than anything. So, in October, I'm moving back to Mammoth. I have a lovely little 1 bedroom apartment a 4 minute walk from the gondola. Couldn't be happier.

Live as much as possible. You'll figure out what you should be doing.
Jun 14 2012 9:02AM
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PASKIINGSUCKS
Posts: 9097 - Karma: 777
Hey hey hey buddy, simmer down there negative nancy. While I regularly shit on the skiing this state offers, you're delusional if you think this whole state sucks.

The Keystone state holds the whole arch of the east coast together and don't act like it ain't the truth. We're the perfect blend between down south stupid and up north stuck up(sorry southerners or New Englanders), the people in pennsylvania are some of the most genuine and nice folks I've ever met.

This state has a lot to offer in the way of fun and if you can't tell this i think you should leave West Chester a little more often my friend.

OP, if you're seriously still in Philly you should cruise on up 476 and stop in for a visit. Take a gander at how us rural Pennsylvanians kick it.

Also you're assuming a lot to say that just cause someone likes their area and chooses to stay there that they are following the heard.
Jun 14 2012 9:46AM
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-GL-
Posts: 1696 - Karma: 37
Word, thanks man. I'm interested to see what you decide to do, keep up posted.
Jun 14 2012 9:54AM
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Corin
Posts: 1665 - Karma: 524
Go do what ever makes you happy. If you don't want to go home, then don't. Why should you? If you're sober and happy, then your family shouldn't complain about you being sober and happy somewhere else.

The meaning of life is to find something that makes you happy, and it looks like you've done just that. It might change, but you can deal with that whenever it happens.

Go for it.

And congrats on being happy!
Jun 14 2012 10:33AM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485
I feel the same way. As soon as i'm done with school i'm outta here. I plan to never stay in the same place very long and try to make my way at least around the country. Fuck money and all that bullshit, you really don't need that much to survive. As long as i'm meeting new cool people and having amazing experiences, that is all I need in life.
Jun 14 2012 10:43AM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
OP if you don't want to 'follow the herd' get the fuck out of new england. people live there because they have to, not because they want to.

-former resident of CT
Jun 14 2012 10:47AM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
that sounds so sick.


i feel like you'd need to be really talented in some areas to pull that off though, like atleast have a few talents that would lead to being a good employee so that you could support yourself doing new and random jobs wherever you go.
Jun 14 2012 10:48AM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
^sounds like an awesome life, if only I didnt have student debt i keep telling my self i would be doing awesom things with my life ha
Jun 14 2012 10:51AM
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 438
Probably the people you knew because you live it ct. What a terrible state.. Kids I knew in college from ct 9 times out of ten were complete ass hats.
Jun 14 2012 10:56AM
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bakedpow
Posts: 8770 - Karma: 10,467
Just got back from living in norway, gona be back in norway in the spring for a while. loving it.
Jun 14 2012 8:20PM
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edai
Posts: 4988 - Karma: 4,658
Where are you living now?

I was planning on going to school in CO or maybe OR since I like the rain, then just never coming home.
Jun 14 2012 8:21PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
or not?


I'm not in philly, I'm next to philly at a friends house. A real house with a big yard and driveway with a bunch of people I've come to love over the years just kickin it.

Also I've been in the philly area since tuesday late afternoon. Tomorrow I leave for atlantic city for 3 nights of phish and then from there who knows.

Before here I was in tennessee, before that I was in arkansas, before that missouri, before that illinois, and before that back where I am now for a couple days, before that a fest in upstate ny and before that home in ny.


Have not been kicking it in the middle of downtown philly for the last month.

So basically what I'm saying is that none of that applies.

Jun 14 2012 9:32PM
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ShabbaRanks
Posts: 998 - Karma: 65
yolo...?
Jun 14 2012 9:47PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
I hear ya but I feel like working forever to get the money train going and get set up takes most of the good part of your life.


Also just thought of something I left out that might be relevant.


So since 09 I've felt like life is to short to waste. Got caught up in the wrong place wrong time/ wasn't being smart and shit got out of hand and I probably should have died.

Anyway for the spring of 09 I really felt like I wasn't going to make it to the fall. I drove 3 hours each way to mount snow a couple times a week to set up rails until the last little bit of snow was completely gone.

Shit got better to an extent. Then things in some ways got worse. But really have been honestly surprised at every year I've made it since then.

Recently I've been dabbling with the idea that I might be alright. I've been through some shit, I've come out fairly intact and I'm not dead yet.

Basically I just don't want to work my whole life to acquire money and things so that at some point late in life I'll be set when I don't know if I'll make it that far.


I just don't want to waste any part of my life. I mean fuck hopefully I make it to 40 and beyond. But I just feel like it would be dumb for me to spend all my time working for shit and miss out on life to save shit for time idk if I'll be around for. And above that, whats the point of not living life to the fullest. It all depends on what your dreams are I guess. I don't want a lot of shit, I don't need a lot of money. I just don't want to be old and look back on my life with regrets. I've really just been trying to live my life to the fullest and not skip any opportunities for adventures with good friends new and old.


And the american dream for many seems to be buying a bunch of shit you don't need, racking up debt, and then being a slave to a ob for the rest of your life trying to pay it off. That's def not my style.


It would be nice to get a place somewhere at some point though. Idk, I'll meet that challenge when I get there I guess.



/wall of text
Jun 14 2012 9:53PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
word, thats where its at
Jun 14 2012 9:55PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
word, another good post
Jun 14 2012 9:56PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
This so much


Idk why people act like that. We're all connected. Helping other people helps you as well. Fuck people that step on everyone and fuck people over to get what they feel is theirs. That shit makes me sad. If everyone gave even a tiny fuck about other people the world would be insanely different. It would be amazing.
Jun 14 2012 9:59PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51667 - Karma: 162,588
I love you man, no homo

Phish is gonna be awesome. I might be down to kick it in burlington for a little while. Not sure if I'm goin back to nh.

Would def be down to take a trip west. We should just wing it and take a road trip at some point.


I know this is like 7 posts in a row but I felt the need to quote some of these
Jun 14 2012 10:05PM
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