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November, 2024

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Picking Up Girls craziest stories

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walshie
Posts: 743 - Karma: 628
I am wondering if you have any creepy or funny stories of picking up females. I had a weird/funny one this weekend. So I was down the beach for senior week of gettin wasted all day and smoking etc, but anyway I was the DD for my friends this night and we are driving home from this party at like 1 in the morning. To set the seen my friend from hawaii is both high as a plane and drunk (call him Tito like from rocket power) and my friend Marc was also intoxicated. So we go over this bridge and they are loving it and shit cuz it looks cool and I see this car taking pictures so I'm like hey let's go get in some rando photos. I pull up along side and see 4 females in this sedan so I roll down the window and they do the same. They proceed to yell and ask how old we are in which I say 18 and they say same. Now my friend Tito is tryna get numbers but I'm like guys this is easy girls lets go back get them drunk and proceed from there and they are like yeah. So I say come back to my crib and they follow me a solid 15 minutes into bumblefuck, since the house is on a golf course. After this time we get back to the house and I open the trunk and grab the handle and a case. I walk to their car where two girls get out and the driver who is pretty hot is still in (the one I wanted originally). So then I'm like so wanna chill for a little and she's like yeah but we can't sleep over and I can't drink so.. She's like no point but these bitches were following us in and I'm like fuck, I can't fuck these ugly troll bitches.. Then I was like yo I'm real sorry but you can't come in.. Deuces and we just went inside. I don't know if I'm just young but this was like crazy to me meaning they would drive 10 miles into sketchy area... Although aside from the driver we had some solid 7s..
Jun 10 2012 9:44PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
wut.
Jun 10 2012 9:47PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
YEAH DUDE
Jun 10 2012 9:50PM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
Punctuation is not your strong suit. Also wtf was the shit about grabbing the handle and botched and bumblefuck? And you were on a bridge then a golf course and you got these girls drunk before or after you got them back to your house?

Overall.. wut?
Jun 10 2012 9:51PM
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@skiinmitch
Posts: 2781 - Karma: 78
my thoughts exactly.
Jun 10 2012 9:51PM
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.ZT.
Posts: 5679 - Karma: 2,792
Didn't read LOL
Jun 10 2012 9:52PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
you should have made her sit under the porch and kicked water and mud at her and called her a troll to her face.

THEN went inside..
Jun 10 2012 9:52PM
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TheBlueMtSkier
Posts: 909 - Karma: 42
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Jun 10 2012 9:52PM
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walshie
Posts: 743 - Karma: 628
Mobile wouldn't let me us spaces. Sparknotes::: Driving home to beach house, meet bitches on highway who agree to Come over, follow us way far back from the main road, ugly bitches get out, hot one can't do anything, I make them leave and get high and wasted with my bros instead
Jun 10 2012 10:02PM
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@skiinmitch
Posts: 2781 - Karma: 78
and your point is...... you just seem like an asshole to those girls now. good job.
Jun 10 2012 10:05PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
one time I picked up this girl really easily and we fucked and she gave me crabs and I gave her you.
Jun 10 2012 10:06PM
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LittleFoot
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 57
why dont you get one of them to go to the party with you
Jun 13 2012 3:39PM
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elemeno89
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 79
could not make it past this. annoyed me way too much.
Jun 13 2012 3:40PM
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Lansfield
Posts: 2708 - Karma: 321
Click for larger imageoh really
Jun 13 2012 3:42PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
this one time, at a bar, i picked up a girl by making fun of her and telling her she looked lonely because she was taking a shot by herself. next thing you know she's holding me up by my nuts on the dance floor and making out with me so violently i felt like i was going to chip my teeth on hers.

i actually had to leave because i was so drunk and was just overwhelmed by her craziness.
Jun 13 2012 3:46PM
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anashyo
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 353
SAYS THE BOY who made a thread about a mail order escort.....
Jun 13 2012 3:47PM
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mowglii
Posts: 545 - Karma: 339
this. you said you're in desperate need of a bitch to bring to your dads very important party?

Jun 13 2012 3:49PM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
Op's story doesn't involve picking up girls, therefore the thread is useless. kill it now
Jun 13 2012 3:50PM
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B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 361
yeah instead of paying someone to do it
(this thread makes me think the escort one is a joke)
Jun 13 2012 3:56PM
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gwhitey
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 312
saw this earlier. OP is poop
Jun 13 2012 3:56PM
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TimRiley
Posts: 1873 - Karma: 1,327
Respect meter continues to drop
Jun 13 2012 3:56PM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
lol.
Jun 13 2012 3:57PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
You've gotta be fucking me.
Jun 13 2012 3:57PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,676
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Jun 13 2012 3:58PM
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Abu_Hajaar
Posts: 2751 - Karma: 3,907
qfe
Jun 13 2012 3:59PM
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Chubz.
Posts: 13918 - Karma: 25,663
This one time, i asked a girl to be my girlfriend, and she said no.




The end.
Jun 13 2012 4:02PM
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TheDers
Posts: 788 - Karma: 164
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Jun 13 2012 4:13PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8593 - Karma: 8,600
You dont have a SINGLE picking up girls story, you couldnt even find someone to come to your work party or whatever irrelevant event it was.
Jun 13 2012 4:15PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152
you automatically count the driver out because she wasn't drinking? Need to get em drunk, eh?
Jun 13 2012 4:43PM
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hokkanee
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 435
This one time, a guy I don't know (let's call him walshie) posted on an internet forum trying to find a female escort to go to some fucking party because he lied to a bunch of people and couldn't back his shit up.
Jun 13 2012 4:57PM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
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Jun 13 2012 5:03PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
BEACH WEEK!!!!!!!!!! Bethany Beach??
Jun 13 2012 5:13PM
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Lansfield
Posts: 2708 - Karma: 321
wwwaaat??? LOLOLOL
Jun 13 2012 5:55PM
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maynaiseman
Posts: 1088 - Karma: 129
ONE TIME I PICKED THIS GIRL UP. THEN I PUT HER DOWN.
Jun 13 2012 6:11PM
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LIL-WAT
Posts: 1510 - Karma: 146
hahah typical Walshie, go buy an escort.
Jun 13 2012 7:11PM
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yaboi
Posts: 212 - Karma: 21
I paid a girls I've neve met before to go to a family party with me, I that counts
Jun 13 2012 7:23PM
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midwestpowhunter
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 189
op cant pick up chicks he just made a thread about findin a hoe on nsg
Jun 13 2012 8:10PM
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douchebagmdgee
Posts: 300 - Karma: 26
i bought a hooker for an hour with a pack of bubblegum and a quarter, she bit my big toe off and i cried for a solid 45 min. oh and this other time i had sex with a cow and created the cowman, who now destroys peoples houses
Jun 13 2012 8:19PM
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thenightman
Posts: 766 - Karma: 132
One time me and my flying partner with the navy were at a bar with a ton other navy guys there. Well anyway, i saw this gorgeous girl at the bar and i told my buddy that she had lost that loving feeling. He reluctantly tagged along as I took a microphone and sang "she's lost that loving feeling" by the righteous brothers. The whole bar joined in and I won her heart. My friend/wingman and I proceeded to buzz the tower and fly below the hard deck. It was CRAZY!!!


True Story.
Jun 13 2012 8:20PM
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douchebagmdgee
Posts: 300 - Karma: 26
did you pee in her butt? if so congratz
Jun 13 2012 8:21PM
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thenightman
Posts: 766 - Karma: 132
no dude after goose died i had a hard time getting back in the game. never got a chance to get the pee in.
Jun 13 2012 8:26PM
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douchebagmdgee
Posts: 300 - Karma: 26
my apologies for the friend. still pretty good legit story though :)
Jun 13 2012 8:27PM
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DaffyDaDak
Posts: 864 - Karma: 433
Gay
Jun 13 2012 8:31PM
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thenightman
Posts: 766 - Karma: 132
Yeah, our favorite song was "highway to the danger zone" by kenny loggins too.
Jun 13 2012 8:48PM
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CrotchKiller
Posts: 9037 - Karma: 6,943
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Jun 13 2012 8:55PM
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russ.bar
Posts: 374 - Karma: 20
Maybe instead of being a douche you could have got the girl who didn't drink to go with you to that work party you wanted an escort for.
Jun 13 2012 9:16PM
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 438
I just picked up a hot chick. She's on my couch right now. yeee.
Jun 13 2012 9:20PM
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Sno.
Posts: 12155 - Karma: 6,152

I want to say I'm 100% sure you're trolling. But there's something about your post that makes me think it has a tiny chance of being cereal.

Jun 13 2012 10:07PM
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
You owe me 2 minutes of my life and 5 IQ points please
Jun 13 2012 10:12PM
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midget.
Posts: 839 - Karma: 101
Alright I have a pretty good story for. So this one night I'm really bored so I just decided to go ride around town and look for something to do. Of course my car won't start, so I had to drive my dads ice cream truck( he is an ice cream man).
So I'm rollin around in this ice cream truck for about 15 minutes and then I see my old baby sitter on the sidewalk! Man was she looking hot. So i pulled over and we chatted for a little, and before you know it she was in my whip(ice cream truck) and we were just driving around having a good time. After awhile she tells me she wants to see my dick and see how much its grown since she last saw it
We pull into this random parking lot and I just immediately start analing her. Not in the truck just in the middle of the parking lot. It was goin great and it was something ill never forget. Me and my old babysitter goin anal in the middle of a parking lot. Unfortunately a cop rolled up and told me to put on a condom and stop using smuckers as lube, but I still had a good time.
Jun 13 2012 11:06PM
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SKIWAGEN
Posts: 497 - Karma: 313
One time this girl at burger king gave me my food and asked if I want any sauce with it. I replied with "only if it comes with your phone number" and she walked away. True story.
Jun 13 2012 11:18PM
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