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Joys of Farting.

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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
In honour of Papa_Lanks' "Joys of Pooping" thread, I figured it was about time to get this thread going in order to celebrate those times when we let one loose that wakes the dead (audible, olfactory, or both) and the relief they can give us.

Let em rip, folks.
May 27 2012 7:18AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
By the way, I just let off two fat raspberry farts that scratched the itch if you understand what I'm saying. (hence the inspiration)
May 27 2012 7:20AM
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Poems
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 3
How the fuck do you fart raspberry?
May 27 2012 8:22AM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
I enjoy my farts when im running and with every step there comes a little fart :)
May 27 2012 8:24AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
i remember middle school physical fitness tests on the stage in the gym...felt bad for the bastard holding my feet down for the situp test
May 27 2012 8:46AM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,066
The fart you let off in the car after dropping off your date and holding it in for 3 hours. I can practically feel my intestines deflating in pleasure
May 27 2012 11:04AM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
HAH, more truthful words have never been spoken.
May 27 2012 11:07AM
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Alex.W
Posts: 528 - Karma: 22
The farts when you're home alone, sound funny and you end up laughing a good 10 minutes about it all by yourself.
May 27 2012 11:16AM
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TACO-DOG.exe
Posts: 11988 - Karma: 12,261
coffee gives me the best farts.


also i can control the sound of my farts.
May 27 2012 11:22AM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Click for larger image
May 27 2012 11:25AM
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KEVTRON
Posts: 3545 - Karma: 1,222
I believe he is comparing his farts to that of the NSer "raspberry"
May 27 2012 11:53AM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
i used to think "humping" was when a girl sits bare-assed on a guys chest and farts.


yep.
May 27 2012 11:53AM
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KEVTRON
Posts: 3545 - Karma: 1,222
used to think? or is now my new fetish?
May 27 2012 11:54AM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
when i was in elementary school i remember some kid telling us all that and i believed it for a while.
May 27 2012 11:55AM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,351
I love farting so loud it wakes you up. Or farting so loud it scares the cat off the bed
May 27 2012 12:22PM
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RoofDaRoofieDogg
Posts: 3090 - Karma: 1,989
I just came back from Arizona, and after a week of mexican food...
May 27 2012 12:48PM
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SterlingArcher
Posts: 2200 - Karma: 2,456
when your girlfriend farts on you when shes riding yo dick
May 27 2012 1:01PM
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Noss.
Posts: 4059 - Karma: 149
STERLING!
May 27 2012 1:08PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
bed/ morning farts are aewesome. they are so loud and crisp, and often large enough that i can feel my stomach flatten. one of the small pleasures in life
May 27 2012 1:11PM
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Shark.
Posts: 3158 - Karma: 270
fuck that, I fart on my date. if she don't like it, ditch the bitch!
May 27 2012 1:22PM
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Toasty.
Posts: 6196 - Karma: 2,302
Farting yourself awake = the best
May 27 2012 1:24PM
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wellthisisold
Posts: 840 - Karma: 973
holy crap this.
May 27 2012 1:29PM
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Petersaurusrex
Posts: 1380 - Karma: 80
I farted yesterday and a little squirt of diharrea came out.
May 27 2012 2:00PM
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JzD.
Posts: 1615 - Karma: 153
I farted in my bed last night. It was so loud my dog who sleeps next to me jumped up out of his bed in confusion. win
May 27 2012 2:02PM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
HAHAHA. So many lols in this thread.
May 27 2012 2:10PM
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GrabsForFun
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 396
I´m just gonna go ahead and say TRAMPOLINE lol
May 27 2012 2:42PM
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
as a server, there is nothing like crop dusting your section when you are trying to get you last table to leave.
May 27 2012 4:03PM
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skifoo
Posts: 1396 - Karma: 45
aww yeah trampoline farts
May 27 2012 4:10PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
maneuvering around in your seat in class to break the surface tension of a fart so it can come out silently is a skill that takes years to master
May 27 2012 4:12PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Make sure you don't shit.
May 27 2012 4:14PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
incredibly difficult to lean just enough so it gets out but not too much so people notice the lean
May 27 2012 4:17PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
shitting is the least of my concerns, the real concern is thinking you have the surface tension broken then...BRRRRPPPTTTTTTT....followed by the knee-jerk reaction of clenching up like you just got mini tazered in the ribs so that its obvious to those around you who it was
May 27 2012 4:17PM
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maynaiseman
Posts: 1088 - Karma: 129
I was in driver's ed and it was just me and this bitch sittin in the back and i let go the classic silent but deadly and there's no way she didn't know it was me. This thig smelt like being slapped in the face by a hand filled with 3 day old milk and puke. I think part of her face melted off.
May 27 2012 4:18PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Just fake a cough at the same time.
May 27 2012 4:21PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
yeah you cant go left or right lean or youre spotted, i lean back, slide down in my chair a little more and get a 45 degree angle between my lower back and the chair and let it goooooooo
May 27 2012 4:23PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
holy fuck I absolutely lost so hard, I am literally crying right now.


also, shower farts are the best, or farts that are really long and loud.
May 27 2012 4:25PM
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Toasty.
Posts: 6196 - Karma: 2,302
May 27 2012 4:29PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
my farts in the shower never smell for some reason, so they are all enjoyable.
May 27 2012 4:30PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 178
yeah my favorite is when you sit on the drain and fart hard and the pipes resonate the tone so its super loud.
May 27 2012 4:30PM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
wait wut
May 27 2012 4:31PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
You don't smell your own farts?

Click for larger image
May 27 2012 4:31PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103
I HAVE TO TRY THIS TONIGHT
May 27 2012 5:49PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
I just dutch ovened myself, and it woke me up.

it's 3pm. Guess it's about time.
May 27 2012 5:50PM
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mochilo
Posts: 63 - Karma: 10
to whoever posted morning farts are the best, you can only truly complete a "morning fart" by quickly covering your self in the covers to keep the smell in
May 27 2012 5:53PM
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Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
I love loudly ripping ass in class and just playing it off like nothing
May 27 2012 5:56PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
I can't tell you how badly I need to fart right now. Its like my gut is about to explode. I feel like this might turn into a Joys of Pooping story.
May 28 2012 6:28AM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
this thread is killing me
May 28 2012 10:41AM
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The_Beekeeper
Posts: 843 - Karma: 302
Ripped one mid backflip once, was probably the funniest thing ever.
May 28 2012 10:56AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
my farts aren't loud enough. i don't know why. inb4 loose butthole
May 28 2012 11:26AM
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JuliusJ
Posts: 3778 - Karma: 2,106
you dont know because they're probably suppressed memories. loose butthole for sure
May 28 2012 11:46AM
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bunnies.
Posts: 270 - Karma: 237
i like loudly and smellyiely farting in very small movie theaters.
May 28 2012 12:24PM
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