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Friend as a roommate

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Bahamamama
Posts: 70 - Karma: 13
So im moving to my first apartment and i gonna share it with my friend cause he´s going to the same school as i. Do you guys have any experiences with roommates who also are your friends before you move to the same apartment? Do you think is a good or bad idea?
May 25 2012 2:51PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,488
It's a legit question. I've seen plenty of people room with friends their first year at school and end up hating each other and (usually only) temporarily ruining their friendship.
May 25 2012 2:54PM
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chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,121
works with some friends, doesn't work with others. Usually you have a better chance at getting along with a stranger though.
May 25 2012 2:58PM
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pmsnow
Posts: 992 - Karma: 87
This but only in some cases.

If your friend already does things that annoy you or that you know will potentially annoy you, bail. Thats when you end up hating each other. Also try and see how they live. If they are slobs at home, they will be super slobs at college.
May 25 2012 3:01PM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
I wouldn't, it holds a lot of people back. Whereas everybody else is out trying to make friends and meeting a lot of new people, those who already live with friends don't make the same effort and don't meet cool new people. Obviously doesn't happen in all cases, but often enough that I would advise against doing so.

Also like was already posted, I've seen a lot that ended up hating each other because their friendship just wasn't ready for moving in together haha.
May 25 2012 3:02PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
I personally think it's a bad idea. rooming with friends is fine as long as you don't share a sleeping quarter and you guys have already been out of the house for a year. Your freshman year at school should be randomly assigned. Not to mention you will be forced to meet new people. I am transferring schools from CU to Cal Poly this coming fall and I am so fucking excited to be living alone in my own place. I can have whoever i want over when ever I want them over. I can be alone whenever I want and I can bring girls home and not have to worry about having any one else. Oh and I have my personal shower which is nice as fuck.

SO I recommend if you are a social guy who can make friends in any situation, live alone. If you aren't move in with a stranger. Don't room with a friend.
May 25 2012 3:09PM
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stizzle
Posts: 371 - Karma: 623
Not necessarily a bad idea but you have to be careful. I've roomed with a few people I was friends with prior and it all worked out ok. Boundaries are huge so make sure to give each other some space and respect each others stuff. This sounds kinda lame but it helps a ton... make a list of stuff that you should both do like chores and stuff (i.e. dont leave a cereal bowl in the living room for 2 weeks. take out the trash when you see its full, if you explode a bowl of spaghettios in the microwave clean it up and other shit along those lines).
May 25 2012 3:13PM
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stizzle
Posts: 371 - Karma: 623

Sorry for the dub post...

But to add on, make sure its someone you know you'll be able to handle seeing every day. I have some really good friends that I hang out with all the time but I would never be able to live with them. The little annoying things you notice about certain people are amplified 100X when you live with them.

May 25 2012 3:20PM
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TimRiley
Posts: 1873 - Karma: 1,327

Is this your first year at college or your first apartment after having lived in the dorms?

May 25 2012 3:24PM
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scratchproteen
Posts: 5173 - Karma: 286
Freshmen year of college...me and 3 other buddies from high school rented a house and it fucking rocked....we had a great time and it didn't hold us back from going out and doing our own thing...we always like to throw parties and invite over everyone we met.

some good times there freshmen/sophomore year of college.


now flash forward to real life, bought a house and now let one of my buddies rent a room with me and its great.

you just gotta know that you'll be around each other a lot, so there will be arguments over why someone didn't refill the toilet paper, or why they used your razor, or why they left the lights on all night long....but you hash it out and at the end of the day crack a beer and chill.
May 25 2012 3:28PM
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WillStart
Posts: 3955 - Karma: 3,192
ive lived with one of my good friends from middle/high school for two years now in college and it's worked really well. no fights or anything


it's definitely true that you don't get out and meet as many people, but we met a ton of our good friends at the same time, so its fine. and because our majors are different and i ski and he doesnt, i've met a lot of friends outside of our shared friend group.
May 25 2012 3:35PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
I lived for a year with my best friend that ive known since i was 5 and his brother. Everything went well because I had known them for so long that I knew how to handle their bullshit. I agree with what was said about meeting new people; when you're living with a friend you're less inclined to go out and meet people. Also, let's say you and your buddy live seperately, you both meet people, then you meet the people he met and he meets the ones you met and they all meet each other and then you guys have a huge crew of friends.
May 25 2012 3:43PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
I ended up hating my 1st year best friend anfter the end of second year. Hopefully you guys are tight enough to make it work. I think an important thing to make it work is to always be upfront and cooperative, otherwise it can get ugly
May 25 2012 4:02PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
I've seen it ruin plenty of friendships, but personally I've never had a problem with it. Some of the best times of my life have been had while living with one of my best friends.

Ultimately, it comes down to respect. Respect the common areas, i.e. don't leave your dishes in the sink for weeks on end. Don't leave your shit sprawled all over the living room. Take the fucking trash out if its full instead of piling one more thing on top. Respect the other person. If you know they've got an 8:00 am class, don't have 15 of your friends over the night before being loud as fuck. etc.
May 25 2012 4:03PM
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rudager
Posts: 11335 - Karma: 4,626
I've had a good experience with roommates. I had a best friend as a roommate at res, we didn't get along all too well at times. Current roommate now, complete stranger (met on ns); now we're like twins. So it's really who you are and who the person is. Some people can be best friends and live peacefully with each other, some can't. It's how life is.
May 25 2012 4:06PM
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smooticus
Posts: 1798 - Karma: 27
I think living with people you dont know is a better option. When you live with strangers everyone tries harder to be good roommates. In my experience this doesnt happen when you live with good friends. I lived with two old friends this year after living with strangers my freshman year at uni. Ill tell you it has been kinda shitty. These guys are super messy and all the cleaning falls on me cuz im the only one that really cares to have the place clean. Just make sure that your not gonna end up being the guy that has to bitch to get the house clean.
May 25 2012 5:39PM
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Montville57
Posts: 1364 - Karma: 18
I'm 16 so i have no experience living by myself at all but i don't know why anyone would want to live with there friend. I cant stand being with any of my friends for more than 24 hours before I want to tare my face off and eat my own toenails for breakfast.
May 25 2012 5:50PM
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miroz
Posts: 10333 - Karma: 3,945
I roomed with two really close friends this last year, and for a while it was really rocky it would always be groups of two, with the third person feeling left out. You won't have that issue though...

You'll generally be fine, it's a safe decision, but make sure you know what you're getting into. How easygoing is your friend? How "clingy" is your friend? Is he going into this expecting to share a life? When you go out, will he expect to come? I don't think you'll have a problem with sharing the space, cleaning, etc, as long as you're reasonable that stuff is fine. It's the life sharing that ends up being an issue. One of my roommates/friends is SUPER needy...needy like if he doesn't get invited to dinner he won't eat. So make sure you're not getting one of those.
May 25 2012 5:54PM
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sleazy
Posts: 374 - Karma: 281
I feel like living with your friend and then hating each other is a girl thing.
but personally i would hate to live with a friend. unless they are pretty chill and like work to your personality.
May 25 2012 5:57PM
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grown-ninja
Posts: 3031 - Karma: 175
lived with friends i made ny first year all throughout college, no problems and of they did you get shitty call them out for bekbg pussey and slap them that simple, one of my house mates was a chick sebior year too, that worked out well, as long as everyone on the arangemnets are good people youll be ok
May 25 2012 7:20PM
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EvanWalz
Posts: 273 - Karma: 347
if you guys have already been around each other a lot then you guys should be fine. if you guys only hang out like an average amount before this, you might get sick of each other. but if you guys have both known each other for a long time and you have chilled together a lot then you should be fine.
May 25 2012 7:24PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,183
false.
People can be best friends and have completely different living styles. That leads to conflict just like any relationship and can make you want to stab your friend's fucking face in
May 25 2012 7:25PM
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nkmo.
Posts: 3994 - Karma: 285
I lived with one of my best friends for 6 years, and never had a major problem with him. Lived with some other friends during the same periods and were constantly at each others throats. Never ruined any friendships, but it just depends on the person.
May 25 2012 7:31PM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
I'm supah jelly.
Living by yourself in California sounds nice as fuck.
May 25 2012 7:34PM
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bigbromskier
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 330
sounds like your friends suck. I'll give the benefit of the doubt being that you're 16.

All roommates get annoying at some point; you just gotta know what you're getting into and know how to step back and ask yourself how big of a deal the situation really is. The little things really add up, but you just gotta have a personal outlet of some form if shits bothering you, and know how to speak out if it's really bothering you. Be smart; know that others can't read minds; and know that some things are a big deal, but most of the time they aren't; ask yourself if you're being unreasonable, because I've found that of myself at times.

In the end, beer/whiskey will be a real eye-opener. For example, one roommate that I've known for 4 or so years now kinda gets to me sometimes, but when we're drunk I feel like way more of buddies. For some people there may be a serious airing of grievances that may be pretty detrimental, but at least it'll get the troof out there. My other roommate who I've know since we were real young I've never had a problem with except all the typical minimal annoyances.
Good luck, and watch this video for advice if it gets real bad:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LECfOH3GkqU
May 25 2012 7:53PM
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jorb.co
Posts: 2581 - Karma: 468
I saw this and the "fat girls in bikinis thread" and thought this was "fat chick as a roommate". that had potential for lolz
May 25 2012 7:56PM
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Jib-Ninja
Posts: 2819 - Karma: 20
I got an apartment with my bro in the fall...totally fucked up our friendship.
May 25 2012 8:00PM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
Sounds like you need some more friends.

It was like that for me when I was like 14 because my friends were really immature and disrespectful but we all sort of grew out of that...
May 25 2012 8:14PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,183
"SHUT UP FAGGOT"
"DUDE UR SO GAY"
"I FUCKED UR MOM BRO"
May 25 2012 8:18PM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
Yeah shit like that and the dudes parents never taught him any manners or anything and I've always been really polite and respectful so it was like he would come over and just be a spoiled asshole and I didn't get it at all. But he's my best friends since the 1st grade so we worked that shit out and I've got a really tight group of like 4 or 5 of us thta has lasted for like 8 years. Gonna be weird when we all go our separate ways after high school.
May 25 2012 8:24PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
Rooming with a friend is a safe move, but its way too safe. You will be held back from meeting people. Go for a random assignment, get out there and meet new people, or you will strongly regret it. I roomed with one of my good friends freshman year and our next door neighbors were also 2 good friends from our same high school. It was fun at times but it felt like high school all over again and I hated it. Now, I absolutely can't stand my roommate, but I became much better friends with my neighbors. Funny how it worked out. Don't do it. Just my 2 cents.
May 25 2012 8:24PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
The real thing you need to ask your self is are you going to be home at the same time. I had a friend last year and we were always home at the same time and it drive us insane then he got a job and I didn't see him 24/7 when I was home and it got better
May 25 2012 8:38PM
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