It looks like you are using an ad blocker. That's okay. Who doesn't? But without advertising revenue, we can't keep making this site awesome. Click the link below for instructions on disabling adblock.
me and three other friends were out by the local safeway and i had eaten Ling Ling potstickers earlier, and i had to shit for sure. i was prairie dogging (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=PRAIRIE+DOGGING) and i needed to put an end to this. i thought why not better than to shit on a parked car in the middle of the fucking street at 12pm... after i thought this abomination of an act over, i told my friends what is going down. the car that i chose to do it on happened to be my favorite car, an 05' gti. i got on the curb and laid out a fat shit, it was a clean get-away (not messy). my friend elliot thought smearing it everywhere would be funny and he happened to use a foam Kony 12' sign that was planted in the ground maybe 10 feet away. he smeared that shit like peanut butter. we heard a creaking door and a "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING" which soon followed with a "OH FUCK, LETS RUN LIKE FUCK". so we ran like no other, and made it home safely. we ended the epic night with 'The Big Lebowski" , my favorite movie. so please... shit on as many cars as possible, there is no other adrenaline rush like it. and always bring toilet paper, a mistake i learned from. and if you had an attention span to read this far, let me know so i can thank you for not being retarded.
