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My stupid fucking family

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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
So I come home to surprise my mom for the few days i have off before my summer sessions start. She's been in rehab for the last 3 months, this being her fifth time in rehab for alcoholism, so i figure it would be nice to see her son for a few days and cheer her up. I get home and walk in to find her smoking weed with my brother, who by the way has court on monday for three felony counts and a misdemeanor stemming from his house being raided when he had a grow op in his attic. what a fucking let down. My brother just fucked up his life probably, probably wont get into grad school and even if he does he wont be able to pay for it because nobody especially the government is going to loan him money. Its bad enough to find him smoking, obviously still doesnt fucking get it, but to find him smoking with my mom who is fresh out of rehab, fucking stupid. anyway i just wanted to vent, im sure NSG will eat me up and im sure for most this is TL;DR but post about your stupid fucking family members if you have any
May 18 2012 6:54PM
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hot.pocket
Posts: 4225 - Karma: 10,625
That majorly blows, thankfully, my family's pretty well put together.

Sorry to hear.
May 18 2012 6:56PM
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sherwood4099
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 22
Sounds like a responsible group of folks. Be better than that and excel yourself. That must have made you seriously disappointed/ pissed.
May 18 2012 6:57PM
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TallTeeNation
Posts: 903 - Karma: 340
go out of state find a nice chick and some friends and start fresh
May 18 2012 7:00PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
As someone who has had family in the endless cycle that is rehab, I kind of understand what you're going through.

Everything I've learned in AlAnon and stuff just says let go and concentrate on yourself, kick ass in school and be fully independent and don't enable them at all.
May 18 2012 7:00PM
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TheClap.
Posts: 21664 - Karma: 4,140
I just wrote the most solid reply of my life but it got cut of

sparknotes: offer them a support system instead of getting pissed, make your brother realize there is more to it and make your mom realize she can overcome her daemons.
May 18 2012 7:08PM
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Mules
Posts: 595 - Karma: 97
man that sucks. plus vibes to you. i couldn't stand it if that happened to me because my parents are pretty awesome. how old is your brother too?
May 18 2012 7:14PM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
Sorry to hear that man, but at least you can see their faults and like somebody up there^ said, distance yourself from them. Might be hard right now, because I understand that really does suck, but look at the silver lining about how this is making you a stronger/better person. :)
May 18 2012 7:18PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
Your brother will still be able to get a student loan.

Also, that is a sticky situation.
May 18 2012 7:22PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
hes 21, and had always had the im too smart to let it happen to me personality, and now that it has happened to him its like he is in denial or continues to think that it wont happen, i dont know hes really a smart guy, just stupid as fuck at the same time
May 18 2012 7:22PM
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tripnip
Posts: 1882 - Karma: 482
keep your head up man. They are family but i have been there, they are probably done being able to help themselves. take the big step and tell them if they want your help they need to be clean. im sorry to hear.
May 18 2012 7:24PM
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elemeno89
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 79
im sorry to hear about your family dude. in all honesty though, your kindness and sincerity will bring you to a whole new level and you will prosper and be successful because of it. try not to let your family drag you down. i'm not telling you to stop acting the way you are when you are around them, for that will prove your resolve. keep on keeping on and one day you will have that family that will be proud of and help each other.

+k for you OP
May 18 2012 7:41PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
depends what the felony is for
May 18 2012 7:42PM
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Batman.
Posts: 364 - Karma: 85
vibes man =/
May 18 2012 7:51PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
thanks for the support guys...just so frustrating to see the wasted potential of someone you love
May 18 2012 7:55PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Hey man, my brother was on the dean's list at Santa Cruz before he got into heroin, have you looked into the family support programs they have?
May 18 2012 8:03PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
yeah, but there is no way i could get him to go to anything that would require him acknowleding he has a problem. He thinks weed isnt addictive, which physically its not really but mentally it can be just as much as anything i think.
May 18 2012 8:10PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
as long as citi is in "business", he will
May 18 2012 8:13PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Weed was the gateway drug that lead my brother towards heroin.

I meant programs for you, not for him. Support groups to help you cope with your family's problems. My parents and I have been going to one and it has really helped.
May 18 2012 8:16PM
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daannnnieel
Posts: 5163 - Karma: 4,293
Just because your family is messed up (been there, really sucks) doesn't mean you can't excel to your full potential. Try and get your brother to tone it down, make it clear that he has a problem. As for your mom, good luck. Vibes, and +k for sticking to it, and not just leaving your family in their time of need.
May 18 2012 8:18PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
ive been goong to a therapist for my mom, but that sounds like a good idea too ill ask my therapist about them
May 18 2012 8:20PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
You should be happy she was only smoking weed and by sucking someone's dick for coke
May 18 2012 8:21PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
Seriously look into it. You'd be surprised how much help it is just talking with other people in the same situation
May 18 2012 8:21PM
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EastCoast315
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 137
Vibes, op. Stay up on success, whenever I see a parent child couple in AA, I get a little emotional. Don't get dragged down to that nasty place, stay strong and be supportive. No resent, no anger, just a firm readiness to help her recover from this affliction.
May 18 2012 8:25PM
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El_Barto.
Posts: 11661 - Karma: 24,354
Tl; dr. Your mom sounds hot
May 18 2012 8:33PM
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gwhitey
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 312
vibes man, we have a grandpa that my dad always tries to make even with him. he cheated on his first wife with the babysitter for my dad. Then his wife got killed in a car accident when my dad was 15. then married the babysitter. later cheated on her and now married someone younger than my mom. when the accident happen to my blood grandmother they didnt have time for a funeral so theres a memorial service tomorrow for her, my dad has been pretty happy the last couple of days because of it. from what i heard about her she was a nice person.
May 18 2012 8:43PM
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RudyGarmisch
Posts: 25443 - Karma: 13,844
I'll concede that weed is a gateway drug once you concede that drivers licenses are a gateways for drunk driving.

All respect to you and your family, but in my experience with people in my life, I offer a simpler explanation - some people just want to do different types of drugs. Alcohol and caffeine have much more profound psychological and physiological effects that weed, but as they're legal, we never hear about them being "gateways" to anything, even though we have thousands more people in treatment centers for alcoholism or over the counter prescriptions.
May 18 2012 8:43PM
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tronned
Posts: 1098 - Karma: 790
personally in life. I started smoking weed and all the connections i ever had to hard drugs was through weed. You dont stumble upon coke or heroin dealers out of the blue. In that sense weed is a gateway for access to other drugs, im not saying it is a driving force to people doing these drugs but it does normally open the door to gaining access to the drugs. Dont kid yourself, you wont be able to find a hard drug dealer out of the blue in most cities in north america.

But... I can see what you are saying. I just wanted to point out that connections made through smoking weed are gateways for access to the harder drugs.
May 18 2012 8:48PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
in my opinion any drug, legal or illegal, can be a gateway drug, depending on the personality of the person. what frustrates me is that its always something with my mom she will never be able to not be dependent on a fucking drug to cope with her stress. Now my brother is facing being a convicted felon, and he still doesnt get it, he continues to smoke weed. I have no problem with weed, i think it should be legal, but that doesnt change the fact the it isnt and he is facing serious shit because of it, yet he still cant manage to give it up. I smoked weed nearly every day for 2-3 years and then gave it up completely one day when i got a smack in the face so to speak, and i havent smoked not even once since, despite being surrounded by it even by my own mother and brother. I have a problem with the common notion that weed isnt addictive because i experience first hand being addicted and denying that it was addictive and i was in fact addicted and i have faced some shitty consequences as a result.
May 18 2012 8:52PM
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volvotom
Posts: 2045 - Karma: 712
I'm not saying it's the "door" for everyone. Plenty of people live life as "effective" weed smokers.

However, for those who may be genetically predisposed to addiction, it can seriously be the first domino in a long series.
May 18 2012 8:53PM
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NW_Rider
Posts: 2580 - Karma: 314
I'll give you that, but whether or not weed is bad for you or not seems somewhat irrelevant here. The fact is that his brother has court monday, related to felony charges and is likely facing a UA. Now he is smoking weed with his mom fresh out of rehab? Although I don't smoke often myself (I get violently too high, everytime.)I am a strong supporter of legalization. Still, when someone comes right out of rehab, they should probably stay away from any intoxicants. Sounds more to me like two people who just don't really care.
May 18 2012 8:57PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Another great reason to legalize weed.
May 18 2012 9:05PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
THIS. I am ridiculously sensitive to most drugs that effect psychology, and caffeine can really be awful sometimes in my case. Weed too.
May 18 2012 9:40PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
well put.... this. im sorry..
May 18 2012 10:17PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
Incorrect convicted fellons can't vote or get government lones or own a gun. So yes he can get an out side lone with like a 50 present intret rate sorry I'm on moble
May 18 2012 10:40PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
And rowen it won't let me quote you but, I had a friend who went from weed to heroin, it's a gate way drug because it lets you meet people who can get you better drugs. If it was legalized tho I feel you wouldn't run in to those people as much.
May 18 2012 10:45PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
this plus he is getting a loan for this upcoming fall semester, and assuming he isnt convicted until after he gets the loan he has to start repaying it as well as all federal loans he has gotten thus far which i believe is more than 15000
May 18 2012 10:46PM
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blackmamba.
Posts: 969 - Karma: 56
sucks that your mom and/or brother don't know right from wrong. do what they haven't done and learn from their mistakes. i have a feeling you might be fighting a losing battle by trying to 'right' their behavior, but don't just pack up your shit and leave them (a la someone else posted). they're family...through thick and thin. set an example, however hard that might be. keep your head up, bro.
May 18 2012 10:48PM
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Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
All I can say is that at the end of the day family is all you got.
So no matter how pissed you are let them know what you are feeling and try and help. Even if its by showing them tough love and raging at them at first but having a heart to heart the next day.
May 18 2012 10:52PM
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sniche
Posts: 493 - Karma: 37
Thats shitty. My family is is the best, I don't know what id do with out them.
May 18 2012 11:22PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
whats your dad up to?
May 18 2012 11:26PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
been divorced from her for 16 years, he's a great guy and a good role model, and my step mom is too.
May 18 2012 11:29PM
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Flacko
Posts: 1495 - Karma: 788
atleast your taking the right path, most kids would have been up shit creek in your situation
May 19 2012 1:43AM
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Crossfade
Posts: 743 - Karma: 24
Fire up "Shameless" and feel better about your situation.
May 19 2012 2:27AM
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accualyisdolan
Posts: 3295 - Karma: -192
i dont really see weed leading her back to alcoholism but if it does im sorry man. alcoholism sucks, ive seen some sad sad shit from alcohol.
May 19 2012 3:31AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
never been in even remotely such a situation, but you have all the possibilities in the world. i assume youre old enough to leave and do what you want or help them.

seems like they already had 1 or 2 chances to get it right though.

vibes, gotta be tough, cant really imagine what this has to be like.
May 19 2012 5:13AM
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
damn vibes
May 19 2012 6:04AM
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kaassouffle
Posts: 164 - Karma: 13
you have pictures of weed paraphernalia all over your ns profile. you are headed down the same road as your brother if you aren't careful. sorry to be harsh.. but maybe you should try setting a supportive example if it bothers you so much. It doesn't seem logical for you to be mad at them and want them not to smoke weed because of their problems when you yourself are smoking too. just a thought.


May 19 2012 7:37AM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
move to your dad dude. Seems like you'll be accepted with warm, welcoming hands.
May 19 2012 7:47AM
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Bodhisattva_
Posts: 5749 - Karma: 2,009
I feel this but at the same time it is really difficult to leave your family behind and just forget about them.


My situation is just my brother. He is 19 and about to finish his senior year in high school living at his girlfriends because my parents kicked him out for smoking weed. They act like it is the worst thing in the world so I got smart enough to just quit while I still live with them so they don't freak out., but my brother will not acknowledge anything they say and continues to skip class and smoke weed all day and leech off of his girlfriend who's parents are nice enough to let him stay there even though they don't really want him there. He is in danger of not graduating but he has this inexplicable attitude that it won't happen to him and he can do whatever he wants and not put in the work and magically still graduate. My mom is doing everything he needs to get done to get ready to leave for college in the fall and he won't even acknowledge that, he acts like we (mom dad and I) hate him because he got kicked out and is acting like it J's everyone else's fault. Me and him used to be super close but I hardly even talk to him anymore and he honestly does not care or see anything other than from his own point of view. Really frustrating. I'm just hoping he won't get into hard drugs because when he is not staying at his girlfriends (on the weekends usually) to go out and party he stays at a friends house who I know has a pretty bad coke habit.

I'm focused on myself andyrying to not let it get to me but I really don't want to see my pretty I telligent brother fail and not even get into college all because he can't quit smoking weed for a few months. I think a big part of it is that he is a fairly well known weed dealer so it's like he is that guy, people see him as the weed man and that's sort of what be is knownfor and he won't try hard enough to get out of thar scenario.

*sorry for spelling I am on mobile.
May 19 2012 12:46PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,642
my dad gets drunk and hits me
May 19 2012 12:47PM
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