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Is a girl still virgin if.

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MNS
Posts: 5386 - Karma: 3,241
I was thinking.

Virgin mary had a jesus. but in order to get preggers you have to have sex.

So what if joseph jerked a load into his hand then inserted it into virgin mary? This would prob pop her cherry and she would have his seed in him--is she still a virgin?

Also, maybe mary cheated and lied about it, then then all those people thought jesus was a miracle and he got blown way outta proportion?

I guess the only logical answer is its a miracle.

just thinkin outside the box


May 18 2012 3:30PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
wow dude youre like the first person to question the legitimacy of religious tales, you should go tell your congressman
May 18 2012 3:33PM
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Get.Kronk
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 226
Only logical answer = miracle. so much logic
May 18 2012 3:34PM
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cultrara
Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,850
oc

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May 18 2012 3:34PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Put your hand up in Church on Sunday and as the priest
May 18 2012 3:40PM
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AWALLRUS.
Posts: 5762 - Karma: 223
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May 18 2012 3:41PM
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Mormor_Olga
Posts: 259 - Karma: 34
'
May 18 2012 3:43PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
This is what actually happened. Jesus was not special. He was just part of the selected chosen by god to be superior. They all live in the same spot and among themselves none are special. But outside of their world they are all "miracle" workers. God only said they could not show their talents to non-chosen people.

Jesus, that showboating son of a bitch, decided it would be fun to strut around the world and show off his "Miracles" to people who were not chosen.

God warned him, "Jesus, you stop this madness. Quit running around and showing off what I have given you. If you keep this shit up, I will punish everyone. Nobody will be special and you will pay the price."

The warning went unheard by Jesus. He decided to go on and on showing people he could do things like walk on water and turn water into wine. After a few months of Jesus not heeding his warnings, that was it. God had had enough.

He appeared before all of the chosen people and said "Jesus has broken the rules I have set for you. Now you all shall pay."

And just like that nobody was chosen. They could not preform any "miracles" anymore. The people here fucking pissed. They immediately hunted Jesus down, tossed him up on a cross and nailed him down. Now everyone would see how much of an ass he was....
May 18 2012 3:45PM
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Poems
Posts: 1041 - Karma: 3
Lol'ing real hard
May 18 2012 4:01PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Immaculate conception=/=virgin birth
May 18 2012 4:20PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Didn't mean to imply that someone said it was btw, just pointing out that they're two different things.
May 18 2012 4:22PM
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FrenchFry
Posts: 969 - Karma: 3,432
I KNOW THE TRUTH PLEASE READ!!!! The truth is that Joseph was the inventor or roofies! He was the inventor of the date rape drug!!! He gave Mary a roofie and they banged and she remembered nothing of the night !! of course at that time they had no idea of the drug and they said it was a miracle!! Then jesus was born and since his dad tested so many drugs on mary he had a very vivid imagination and he constantly sit up but he believed his own lies so they seemed legit so they thought he was gods sun!! he was just a really good liar!! there is the truth!!
May 18 2012 4:22PM
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FrenchFry
Posts: 969 - Karma: 3,432
made shit up *
May 18 2012 4:24PM
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theBearJew
Posts: 10951 - Karma: 15,633
never deny your beliefs!! if you think they are real they are! Just like my jesus theory.
May 18 2012 4:28PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
amazing
May 18 2012 4:29PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
Mary was a whore who slept on Joseph and Jesus' dad was named Jerome Daniels and he was from the lower east side of Bethlehem. Jerome was sippin some foties at a Kick back with his bloodsand some fly bitch Mary came up on his dick and he was like a brother don't have no jimmy hat but I'll still teach this Jewish bitch a lesson. So he did then she lied to joseph saying no sweetie im still a virgin this bumpis just from my big plate of dinner. Then down the line it was obvious it was a baby she couldn't get a hold of Jerome on his beeper or his celly so she talked to his cousins and try claimed Jerome was sent to pelican bay for some rap he took for his little brother trey. So Mary tripped out and was like this baby is a miracle birth Joseph and he was mildly retarded so he was like oh my goodness tell the wisemen. Then Jesus was born and it was blown way out of proportion.
May 18 2012 4:30PM
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FrenchFry
Posts: 969 - Karma: 3,432
i was corrceting myself i said sit up in my paragrah
May 18 2012 4:38PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
maybe she just shared a dirty hottub with a bunch of guys ?
May 18 2012 5:25PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
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May 18 2012 5:27PM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
related post i made earlier here
http://facebook.comwww.newschoolers.com/ns/forums/readthread/thread_id/660940/page/2/

(slightly extended version)

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

when you think about the situation:

mary says to joseph: "yeah, i am pregnant, seriously i didnt cheat on you. it was, it was..., yeah.. it was god. idk what to say about this, but seriously, it was god." so joseph is like
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then mary tells him that their kid is the son of god and that they will probably make mad $$$ with him and joseph is like
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when jesus is old enough to understand jokes. joseph tells him this one:
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so jesus is like
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but after a while he forgets his sadness and becomes the center of every party he is on and even gets into a few fights because he gets superbowl drunk
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he even rides raptors 'n' shit
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but as we all know, the story doesnt end well. his father-complex catches up with him.
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the end
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May 18 2012 5:32PM
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Puzzled
Posts: 4267 - Karma: 4,448
I lost.
May 18 2012 5:35PM
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jah_medicine
Posts: 38 - Karma: 17
somewhat relevant

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May 18 2012 6:22PM
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