am a skiier from pennsylvania and im not the best. i was in park city over easter break and they had some of the biggest jumps ive seen. I was intent on hitting the largest jump they had there from the first time i saw it. It took me 3 days to build up the courage to go off this jump. it was the 2nd jump that takes you straight to the park with a bunch of rails. not the 4 jumps that you go straight to, but the 2 jumps that you turn right to hit after the down rail. this was in the the smaller park mind you, because the largest park wasnt open in april.
the day was april 7 a saturday and i remember it like it was yesterday. on this day i finally worked up the courage to hit the jump. looking back i definitely was not skilled enough to do so. i cleared the first jump, so i knew that i had enough speed to hit the second. i didnt speed check at all for fear of knucking the jump. as i went up the jump the force of my speed sent me nearly into the backseat position. Because all the jumps i had hit so far were not nearly this large, so i was not ready for this. i went into the air and leaned straight back. i could have easily pulled it into a backflip if i just leaned back a little more, but i clearly did not have enough time to even comprehend the decision to do so in the air. plus i have never even done one. so, i tried to regain an upright position but ended up just turning to the side a little. i ended up landing pretty far down the landing, so i got plenty of air. i had taken plenty of hard beefs before so i wasnt scared while i was in the air, but the landing ended up worse than i could have expected.
as i landed i was squirming around trying to gain the correct position to land, but the squirming caused my arm/pole to be under my ass as i landed, so i ended up landing on my pole and it almost went up my ass, but it mostly just spread my ass cheek. when i landed i thought i tore my ass and that it was bleeding. so i stuck my hand in my pants and to my surprise i actually just got the shit knocked out of me on the landing. it turns out the opposite forces of landing on my back/ass and the pole going up my ass was enough to knock the shit out of me. i didnt even shit myself in the air, it came out when i landed. it was one of th grossest things i have ever experienced. i recall one of the skiiers there asking "where is he bleeding out of"(sadly he was informed that it was not blood). i had eaten corn the night before and it showed. i rode right to the trailer bathroom to clean myself off. the smell in there almost made me throw up all over myself. i ended up throwing out my saga pants, my sweatpants i was wearing underneath, my underwear of course, and the shorts i had on under my sweatpants. they were all covered in shit.
i was very thankfull of Kyle, who was the ski patrol man who gave me a ride home from the mountain. i showered for 2 hours and i swear the smell was still on me. i was just wondering if im the first person to ever shit themself from landing wrong off a jump skiing/snowboarding ever, because i think that there's a good chance that i now hold the world record for being the first person to ever have this happen to them? all in all it was not a bad day. it was my last day in utah so i didnt need my pants anymore, and it's pretty funny to look back on now.
