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SUCCUBUS

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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
Newschoolers, I have a dilemma. My roommate has recently acquired a girlfriend, leaving him a hollow shell of a man. He spends 12+ hours a day locked in his room doing god knows what with her, does everything she says, is in the slow painful process of reformulating his tastes and opinions to suit hers, and on top of all of that she sucks and smells like crabcakes. I'm really happy that my friend is now experiencing the wonders of a vagina, but I'm at a loss for how to talk to him about it. How have you driven evil female spirits out of your homes?
May 4 2012 2:18PM
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
The entire time she is there, beat it. Not go into your room and do it in private. I'm talking on the couch, completely nude, raging hard on, filthy porn, just beating it everywhere. She'll be gone soon enough
May 4 2012 2:19PM
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Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
let him be a douche. i think everyone has to go through it sometime or another. just let him know that it sucks and start blowing him off. stop inviting him out, all that. then when he asks why you and your buddies are omitting him from group activities, just say he did it by isolating himself and prioritizing her every moment of every day over you guys. he'll get the message at some point, and if he doesn't, find a new friend.

people need to find a balance, and they need to find it for themselves. if they can't, AINT NOBODY GOT TIME FO DAT.
May 4 2012 2:21PM
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mowglii
Posts: 545 - Karma: 339
BOOM there you go. alot of my friends are retards who do the same shit when they meet a girl and think theyre all in love and shit. I found a good equilibrium when spending time with my gf/friends/skiing etc. I dont understand how people can get so pussy whipped and become little bitches
May 4 2012 2:30PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
This was hilarious.
May 4 2012 2:32PM
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cubber
Posts: 1933 - Karma: 638
this, and provide video to prove what you have done. it'll be classy. try to ooze a little under the door, on her clothes, in her butt
May 4 2012 2:33PM
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caucasian_chad
Posts: 4078 - Karma: 3,625
You mean AINOBODYGOTIMEFODAT?
May 4 2012 2:33PM
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technique.
Posts: 1538 - Karma: 308
this 100%
May 4 2012 2:49PM
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Velocirooster
Posts: 336 - Karma: 38
Seems like a keeper to me if you just read this part
May 4 2012 3:36PM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
I bet he's never had a girlfriend... happened to me with one of my friends in like grade 10, didn't see him the entire summer, came back a different person.
May 4 2012 4:00PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469

and growl. Increase growling until it is a full on scream

May 4 2012 4:13PM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
They don't even eat in the kitchen, sometimes the only time I see him is when he comes downstairs to meet the pizza guy.
May 4 2012 5:23PM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
this is the most solid answer
May 4 2012 5:34PM
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bstuck1
Posts: 426 - Karma: 46
Crab cakes are Maryland's strongest aphrodisiac.
May 4 2012 5:40PM
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