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Graduation Speech

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kaPOW
Posts: 310 - Karma: 44
So at our school the whole senior class gets to select two graduation speakers from the top 5% in our class and I was chosen as one this year! Anyone have any suggestions of what to say or just stories of what you've heard in the past at graduations?
Apr 28 2012 8:59PM
32 1
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iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
just spark a j, say "im fucking outta here!" (if you are holding a mic, drop it.), your entire class will follow you, and you will get layed for ten days straight.

true story.
Apr 28 2012 9:14PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
"Skiing is getting to the point where.... it's crazy."
Apr 28 2012 9:17PM
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Aomame
Posts: 282 - Karma: 454
i'm so stoked and happy and... just stoked and... stoked. don't forget to have one of your friends tackle you too.
Apr 28 2012 9:25PM
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emopoppins
Posts: 3996 - Karma: 269
say how easy high school was and demand that more math and science should be taught so we can keep up with the chinese!
Apr 28 2012 9:31PM
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scratchproteen
Posts: 5173 - Karma: 286
be sincere with a couple of jokes tied in, toss in a favorite memory that involved a decent amount of people...(basic outline of my senior speech) it was more effective than the girl that went before me who basically bored the crowd to sleep with emotional life lessons and how we are all beginning some new path and on and on.
Apr 28 2012 11:49PM
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powderdrunkie
Posts: 2034 - Karma: 976
just sinh
Apr 28 2012 11:57PM
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powderdrunkie
Posts: 2034 - Karma: 976
*sing something
Apr 28 2012 11:57PM
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XtRemE11
Posts: 5680 - Karma: 246
get really nervous and sweaty and fuck the whole thing up as bad as you can. then end it with nervously saying "highschool can suck it" and akwardly doing that thing the wrestler does where you cross your arms by your dick.
Apr 29 2012 12:02AM
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Toasty.
Posts: 6198 - Karma: 2,335
"We done niggaz, lets go to college"

That was written in a yearbook at my school in germany.
Apr 29 2012 12:12AM
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Vino
Posts: 2939 - Karma: 1,115
Just saw this post on 9gag and thought of this thread

Click for larger image
Apr 29 2012 10:54PM
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Casual.
Posts: 1125 - Karma: 28
oh boy i do agree with this post very much.
Apr 29 2012 11:14PM
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412.
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 247
"i wanna say from the bottom if my heart.... FUCK EACH AND EVERYONE IF YOU."
Apr 29 2012 11:16PM
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edai
Posts: 4991 - Karma: 4,680
this is the greatest thing
Apr 29 2012 11:19PM
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TallerThanThou
Posts: 615 - Karma: 13
Graduation speeches are now aerials.
Apr 29 2012 11:20PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37606 - Karma: 122,595
"Thank you for making me waste 12 years of my life when only 4 of those actually really counted for something. Thank you all the hot chicks that wore yoga pants. Class would not be the same without you guys. Peace to the fucking zulu nation. I'm audi 5-0, bitches." Then proceed to spark up a doob while walking off stage.
Apr 29 2012 11:28PM
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kaPOW
Posts: 310 - Karma: 44
They had a problem with a graduation speaker two years ago so now the vice principal is having me type up my speech and give it to her before hand. She said that if I go off script too far then she can always take my diploma away so I guess if I just write "fuck every single one of you" and "i'm fucking outta here" and I include actions like *whip out dick and bang principal's daughter* and then *drop mic and light up fat j* into the write up of my speech that I give her I should be fine and I'd actually be forced to do all of that or else she'd take my diploma right?
Apr 30 2012 1:45PM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
Talk about how much you loves
Apr 30 2012 2:45PM
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kaPOW
Posts: 310 - Karma: 44
How much I loves?
May 1 2012 4:13PM
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kaPOW
Posts: 310 - Karma: 44
Ooooooohhhhh how much I loves! Got it!
May 1 2012 4:31PM
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IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9932 - Karma: 9,411
bitch...
May 1 2012 5:01PM
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gwhitey
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 312
"I'm the leader of the free world"
May 1 2012 5:05PM
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
Give a fantastically written speech but wear a gorilla suit through the whole thing.
May 1 2012 5:10PM
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-Dan
Posts: 7147 - Karma: 52,281
As we move on into the future, you will find that this is no longer a joint effort. You will be on your own to blaze a new trail. I’ll be blunt, you are going to take some big hits but don’t panic, just roll with the punches, take a deep breath, hold it in and let it out slowly. Life is not going to bowl you over. I know this class and I know that you will rise to the occasion and soar above the clouds, because you guys are all hungry for success. Right now, the future might look a little hazy, but don’t stress about it, just relax and enjoy the trip.
May 1 2012 7:20PM
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assface
Posts: 4319 - Karma: 2,031
Bizzump
Apr 5 2013 5:52PM
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HamFaceGirl
Posts: 5242 - Karma: 2,676
Apr 5 2013 5:55PM
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jmasterp
Posts: 1976 - Karma: 233
Any chance there's a video if the problem speech?
Apr 5 2013 8:01PM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,105
whip out 2 champagnes, shake them, spray at crowd. anything carbonated works. have your friends in the crowd do this too, but make it completely unexpected. be saying some fake emotional shit and then bring them out.
Apr 5 2013 8:05PM
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Spagett+
Posts: 3499 - Karma: 14,884
Dedicate you greatness to newschoolers

Apr 5 2013 8:41PM
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