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For Those Dealing With a Break-Up - Real Shit

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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089

I will be paraphrasing my own experiences mixed with some other knowledge by authors in this field of "info". This is mostly for males from a male perspective.

Step 1. Cry

Just fucking cry and let those emotions flow. Freak out, throw lawn chairs, whatever it takes you to grasp the main flow in the first situation.

Step 2. Stop crying

This is where you realize that shit has gone down. Take a deep breath, another deep breath, then either

a)scream at the top of your lungs

b)be silent and suppress any screams, holding them in

Step 3. Self-Image

Now you might be feeling "Why was I the on who got dumped, even though I could've dumped her at some point!?"

Well, you see... she did it first. She saw that it was not going to last, if not for purely selfish reasons, then for other reasons clear to her but unknown to you.

It was not about the amount of roses you brought her, it was not amount of pets you brought up with her, it was not the amount of hobos you re-established to our society with her - no, it was about the passion.

Step 4. The Passion

The amount of passion can wary, it can go from simple acknowledgement to an upright war of opinions, it's not always pretty, but it can often end up in glorious sex. But think to your self: is this what I'm looking for? Fighting, stressing about thing, then fighting some more only to reach a momentary Status Quo through sex? Sure, it might work for those not in The Deep, but not for you who were looking for real shit, now abandoned. So next up is...

Step 5. Realization

This is when you start to see the world outside your long-lasting relationship. All those women you earlier saw as Taboo due to respect for your loved one are suddenly out there, ripe for the picking. Try to veer away from anyone you or she might actually know at first, but when you get your groove on, nothing is sacred.

Step 6. The New World

So, you've finally done it, tasted the flesh of the once forbidden and walked the roads we want to forget.

Now you're left with a choice: to seek another one like your ex, a girl/woman who can in the end become your loved wife and mother of your children, or to stay single and mingle-fuck your way into elderhood by either doublewrapping or tieing up your canals when you reach 30.

The choice is up to you, but I guarantee you...

IT IS NOT FUCKING OVER AFTER BREAKING UP.


Peace.


Apr 25 2012 6:03PM
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RileyZap
Posts: 420 - Karma: 27
Crying is for girls.
Apr 25 2012 6:50PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Yes, Ron Swanson. No man has ever cried or showed emotion.
Apr 25 2012 6:57PM
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Petey.
Posts: 5736 - Karma: 4,885
Well then you must be a huge pussy because all you do is come into threads to cry! :D
Apr 25 2012 7:07PM
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Wall_Nut
Posts: 629 - Karma: 113
shhh, men are talking.
Apr 25 2012 7:11PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
quality post is quality.
Apr 25 2012 7:12PM
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Wall_Nut
Posts: 629 - Karma: 113
Also, this is great advice, I've seen too many people come away from a breakup like it was no big deal. If you don't let it out now, it will eat away at you. Real Talk.
Apr 25 2012 7:13PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
cool story?
Apr 25 2012 7:15PM
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kickerlicker
Posts: 820 - Karma: 11
This should be known
Apr 25 2012 7:31PM
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anomalous
Posts: 87 - Karma: 15
We disagree on many issues but on this my friend, you speak the truth.
Apr 25 2012 7:34PM
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Mr.Sloth
Posts: 5091 - Karma: 13,469
Tanner Hall should get floored/blazed as fuck and then film himself reading this (adding his own trustafarian twist, of course), put it on youtube, and title it "Tanner Hall: Real Breakups"
Apr 25 2012 7:35PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Step 1.5: Masturbate
Apr 25 2012 7:36PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
America surly has won the culture war :)
Apr 25 2012 7:37PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Don't call me Shirley...
Apr 25 2012 7:56PM
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jamers
Posts: 1311 - Karma: 164
personally, I like arson.
Apr 25 2012 8:04PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
No no, he called you Surly

Click for larger image
Apr 25 2012 8:06PM
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Montville57
Posts: 1364 - Karma: 18
Nice airplane reference
Apr 25 2012 8:07PM
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Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
:)
Apr 25 2012 8:11PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
dammit all to hell:) I missed an E
Apr 25 2012 8:14PM
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-GL-
Posts: 1696 - Karma: 37
thanks man, I'm also going through some problems with my relationship and this helped alot
Apr 25 2012 8:18PM
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E-Nix
Posts: 382 - Karma: 187
You forgot the step where you drink large amounts of alcohol and beg for her to take you back at her door step.
Apr 25 2012 8:24PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
I made this simple guide, while not relatable to everyone, to stop guys from doing such futile shit and just letting go.
Apr 25 2012 8:35PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 178
i only have 2 steps to breaking up

1.) win

2.) afterbang

*by win i mean fucking win, dont cry like a bitch, dont be all sad and shit your whole life, just for a little is fine but dont tell anyone, take it as experience and win the next time because that is winning and youll be that much more learned to win even more the next time around. (just remember, its a good thing if she breaks up with you because now YOU can find someone more fit you your calibber of win) also by lafterbanging i mean look good, she will feel bad about breaking up with you, but dont let anyone know you are trying to look good or the effort put into it, like you all know, afterbang. i also like this because afterbanging can also be interpreted as banging after, aka hitting up her friend and starting a little controversy. but you dont care, shes not your girlfriend anymore...


Apr 25 2012 8:51PM
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AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256
Thanks OP, i needed that, just got out of a 2.5 yr relationship.
Apr 25 2012 8:56PM
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AT-AT
Posts: 3281 - Karma: 3,256
and isnt this just a daily step of living?
Apr 25 2012 8:56PM
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skituner
Posts: 1162 - Karma: 127
Respect
Apr 25 2012 9:18PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Not while crying. I only do that a few times a week.
Apr 25 2012 10:00PM
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Goku
Posts: 8119 - Karma: 4,223
Just got dumped after 2 years because she "doesn't love me and can't have fun with me"
Apr 26 2012 9:39PM
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JuliusJ
Posts: 3778 - Karma: 2,106
relevant, plus how i met your mother is awesome.

Apr 26 2012 9:45PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
no
Apr 26 2012 9:48PM
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panojibber
Posts: 3382 - Karma: 216
Technically he would have called you America, but thats ok.
Apr 26 2012 10:05PM
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saskskierftw
Posts: 898 - Karma: 62
Legit thread is legit.
Apr 27 2012 12:09AM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
hahahaahhahahah
Apr 27 2012 12:13AM
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Dr.Gonzo
Posts: 2552 - Karma: 87
should you be crying during the fap or not? because it's in between 1 and 2
Apr 27 2012 12:17AM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
aka "im fucking another guy"
Apr 27 2012 12:22AM
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majora
Posts: 860 - Karma: 157
i want this to happen
Apr 27 2012 1:03AM
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Kman000
Posts: 93 - Karma: 14
Im going through one right now and it fucking kills. This has given me something to think about. I appreciate this. Chin up
Apr 27 2012 2:33AM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
If course you should be crying, otherwise how could you use your tears as lube?
Apr 27 2012 2:39AM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
Okay, fuck it. Just cry and masturbate, that should be enough.
Apr 27 2012 3:25AM
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coolstoryHansel
Posts: 72 - Karma: 10
for real bro, just take some time out of your day, watch this: http://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=485957554 , and think about how many more fish are in the sea. A bird is a bird, until you find the right one they'll come and go...keep your head up man
Apr 27 2012 4:16AM
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JuliusJ
Posts: 3778 - Karma: 2,106
FEAR THE WRATH OF INCOMING BAN HAMMER!!!
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Apr 27 2012 4:23AM
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