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Best/Funniest/Most uncommon ways to avoid a confrontation

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Velocirooster
Posts: 336 - Karma: 38
What are some things you've done/said to avoid a pointless confrontation with someone.  Ill start with my most recent that worked.  If anyone knows about Bloomsburg's block party you know its just a day where everyone gets hammered and walks from place to place.  So it was like 1:30 AM and these kids were walking by me and my friends and we were all fucked up and sayin some shit and it came to the point where the other group of kids were just like come at me and go fuck yourself and what not and we were yelling stuff back and i thought that a fight was going to break out and i yelled, "My dick is made of gravy and my mother is a waffle".  There was no response and the crisis was averted.

IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ THE WHOLE BULLSHIT STORY
To avoid a drunk scuffle i yelled my dick is made of gravy and my mother is a waffle.  The enemy fled
Apr 24 2012 2:57PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
how were you conceived/how do you reproduce?
Apr 24 2012 3:04PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,183
I usually reccommend they take their pants off first before we fight. That usually stops it.
Apr 24 2012 3:06PM
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Nufity
Posts: 993 - Karma: 171

Who are your parents? Honestly, I want to meet the people who thought it was a good idea to conceive you.

Apr 24 2012 3:06PM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
Ways to avoid confrontation.

-Don't be a douchebag
-Don't hang out with douchebags (like you and your friends)

Apr 24 2012 3:09PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
But what if it doesn't........?
Apr 24 2012 3:11PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,183
Then I say he looks like Randy from Trailer Park Boys and walk away laughing

Click for larger image
Apr 24 2012 3:12PM
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Mr.Turtle
Posts: 3690 - Karma: 96
I usually just shoot the other guy in his kneecap
Apr 24 2012 3:13PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,017
the throat is usually where i aim, i find it more effective than the kneecap
Apr 24 2012 3:14PM
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j-bo
Posts: 347 - Karma: 329
Go for lunch boys. Just go for lunch.
Apr 24 2012 3:14PM
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Bill.Nye
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 2,109
Everyone knows you shoot for the center of mass.

This is why everyone always try to shoot me in the dick.
Apr 24 2012 3:21PM
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hokkanee
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 435
This. Even when I'm hammered walking around downtown, I've never started a real confrontation with anybody
Apr 24 2012 3:22PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,183
The problem is that when other people are drunk they try and start confrontations with me because they can't hold their own alcohol.
Apr 24 2012 3:27PM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
Then they're douchebags, and by extension my rule still works: don't hang out with douchebags. Turn around and walk away. Its better than getting in a fight.
Apr 24 2012 4:54PM
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Velocirooster
Posts: 336 - Karma: 38
When a bunch of kids say shit while walking by i wouldnt consider that hanging out with them. And furthermore my friends and I are not douchebags were very friendly in fact, we are just quite stupid.
Apr 25 2012 8:54AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Why would a random kid try to start shit with you unless you provoked him in some way? Not saying you necessarily did anything wrong, but I can't see a guy just singling you out in the middle of a block party for no reason.
Apr 25 2012 9:20AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Thought you were the OP...nevermind.
Apr 25 2012 9:21AM
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alvy.
Posts: 2134 - Karma: 377
AR6rider fucked up :0
Apr 25 2012 10:33AM
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Velocirooster
Posts: 336 - Karma: 38
Its not a block party its just called block party haha, and i see where your coming from but block party is literally just a day where everyone gets hammered and walks around from place to place.  The mayor last year made it a law that you need a permit specifically for block party to have more than 150 people on your property.  And if you think it sounds weird that a group of drunk people would try to start something with another group of people for no reason than you havent been to college or havent been drunk.  They started talking shit because my friend was wearing a red wings snap back and they were flyers fans lol. Not something im willing to fight over.
Apr 25 2012 11:21AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I finished college two years ago, kiddo. I've been to plenty of block parties, and had plenty of people try to start shit with me. I'm just saying there's usually a reason. Unless you're a huge d-bag, people don't usually go out of their way to get drunk and fight people. Fucking freshman.
Apr 25 2012 11:23AM
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Velocirooster
Posts: 336 - Karma: 38
My parents are pretty normal people, so are my brother and sister, something must have just gone wrong somewhere along the way because i am not normal. And my mom has told me numerous times that i should not have a child because it would be bad for the human race and irresponsible of me.  Dont think my mom hates me or anything though shes just honest and i agree lol i suck and will probably die from eating too much spaghetti on june 24th 2015
Apr 25 2012 11:24AM
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Mr.LemonPie
Posts: 4100 - Karma: 1,625
I thought you were like 16...
Apr 25 2012 12:02PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I have an IQ of 191. I finished college when I was 14.
Apr 25 2012 12:03PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5908 - Karma: 3,732
you also try to win arguements on the internet, now who's smarter...
Apr 25 2012 1:06PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
What do you mean try?
Apr 25 2012 1:18PM
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Nufity
Posts: 993 - Karma: 171

Being on the internet stunts you socially.

Apr 25 2012 1:20PM
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kingcomet32
Posts: 638 - Karma: 13
Theres certain things about people that unintentionally provoke fights, and certain people who go around trying to fight anybody they think they could beat for no reason. I know people that fall into both these categories, some people are just jonesin for the adrenaline rush and a little alcohol is all they need.

OP may not have been doing anything it could have just been those kids lookin for a fight walking by trying to get a reason to fight
Apr 25 2012 3:08PM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
cutting your hand and drinking your own blood
Apr 25 2012 3:21PM
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,343
No offense to any of you, cause all of these are pretty funny. But if I was in a confrontation and yelling/whatever and someone yelled "my dick is made of gravy.." or "take off your pants" id think you were either a fag or a pussy.

So I'm gonna stick to dont be a douchebag and dont get into confrontations to begin with.
Apr 25 2012 3:34PM
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stoned_sorcerer
Posts: 659 - Karma: 73
embed is disabled but this is how i solve my problems: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MaaUMOaNshs
Apr 25 2012 3:44PM
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