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Did I tell you that I applied to live in Russia with a graduate summer program they are testing on information security?
If I get it, I'm the test dummy for the entire program. In Moscow. For 6 weeks. By myself. Studying security for 4 hours a day. Studying Russian for 2. Studying which wife I will buy for the rest.
We agreed, if it's buy 1 get 1 free, I'm getting two wives. If it's buy 1 get 2 free, I'm getting 3 wives. If it's buy 1 get 3 free, you are getting one wife for free, I'm getting 3. (1 in 3 have HPV, we can beat the odds)
i would gladly have a 3 way with everyone in that video because the girl's straight, the guy's gay and well, you never know with me, i've been known to go both ways
Same technique when I'm at a bar picking up girls, I make them have a loss of words when I show them videos of me sucking off another guy, then they are so confused it's so easy to trick them into sleeping with me. It's not rape if they are tricked into thinking I'm gay, and it's not gay if the voluntarily drink my special mixed drinks that are labeled "Blackout" (in size 1 font on the bottom of the cup)
Perfect example, I was splitting a cab with my friend (male) and two females. We were talking, spittin good game, it was late, everyone had been drinking. They were attractive, we were horny and tired of sucking each other off. They were gonna come over our place for more drinks, until.....My friend started talking about how he hadn't had sex with ex in over a month, even though she died 3 ago......
Not gay, because you were thinking about straight shit and didn't think about gay shit.
But then again, if you are thinking about shit while climaxing, you shouldn't be worried about being gay or not, you should be worried about being a scat addict
And that's why you wait until they've had some the "special" drink before you tell them. Kind of like human centipede but instead of ass to mouth I've sewed their mouth to my dick. Make sure you remove the teeth before mouth to dick connection. I learned that the hard way
Yea, but we didn't have the special drink in the taxi.....
I prefer a little tooth action, like if the girl has a snagletooth, so seductive. A little friction from the tooth mixed in with the lips is nice, or dry lips add to friction, but you need a lot of spit. Gotta love DSL
But see when these girls wake up to realize they've been sewn to my dick their first instinct is to bite down. They eventually grow to love me though for my dick is a gentle and kind hearted ruler of
Pretty simple, on Tuesdays, I watch scat porn as soon as I wake up
Why Tuesday? It's the shittiest day of the week. So I have a mood booster on Tuesday, then on say Friday I don't feel the need to watch scat porn because, hey it's friday, a great day and start of the weekend
Porcupines are the best. Do yourself a favor and bang a porcupine. Pigeons are fun. Pretty much any animal whose name starts with a P. Porpoises, pigs, pugs, pterodactyls. Opossums sometimes.
I see the beginning letter p in opossum when you are drunk, but skunk?
Ever fucked a fish? Like a decent sized 12 pound bass? So soothing, but I feel bad when its flopping around like a fish out of water. Then I usually return it to Walmart and get store credit and buy confectionary sugar, that shit works wonders on obtaining black girls
I fucked a puffer fish. Once in a lifetime experience. Just amazing.
When I go to Wal Mart I just tell the manager that the old greeter at the door is my grandmother and that her alzheimers is acting up again so I have to take her home. That way when she screams that she's never seen me before no one thinks it's suspicious that i've hog tied an old lady and thrown her in the trunk of my car. Then I bathe in prune juice and have freaky old lady sex
That last part made me smile, that's a brilliant way to get away with 'rape'
Why do i put 'rape' inside those little teardrops? Well...... :)
My favorite technique has to be the old Peeping Tom 2.0
I'll peep through a window, waiting for the couple I'm looking at to start fucking. If they are playing loud music its so much easier. When the girl is face down, I shoot the guy in the back of the shoulder with a tranquilizer (not to kill him, murder isn't cool unless its an abortion) then rip him off and finish in the girl. Shes willingly fucking me because she doesn't know its me. When I finish, I usually push her head deep into the pillow and gently punch her skull, sending her into a quick seizure type of effect. I then have about 10 seconds to exit the room, and when she comes around, she sees James, her husband, passed out sleeping, and thinks, damn is he good in bed.
Wow I do the same thing but the difference is i walk in with a stun gun and taze them both. If that doesn't knock them out I pull out my faithful monkey wrench and hit them with that. Then I pretend I'm playing with dolls and that they're at a tea party but instead of serving tea i'm serving up piping hot cups of wang