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DRUG TEST

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c_roll
Posts: 584 - Karma: 246
hi there, I just learned today that i have a drug test in the next week and i NEED to pass, if i don't then my dad could lose his job and i would NEVER be able to leave my house again. Ive smoked 2 grams over the weekend and almost nothing for a few weeks before that, how can i cleanse my system in one week in time for the test? I am in pretty good shape, and eat moderately well. There is probably already a thread on this, but i really need help, so please only give me useful tips that will help. Bullshit is not welcome.

+K if you help
----K if you're a dick and hate
Mar 18 2012 1:56PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
why would your dad lose his job over your drug test? sweat a lot, exercise, water won't hurt.
Mar 18 2012 2:02PM
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CRiP
Posts: 1323 - Karma: 482
cranberry juice. lots of it
also buy niacin at rite aid. take that shit and it cleans out your system. one of my friends did it and you turn all red and shit and sweat like crazy but it works
Mar 18 2012 2:04PM
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c_roll
Posts: 584 - Karma: 246
Because hes working on some high priority government project, my entire family needs to get tested
Mar 18 2012 2:07PM
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Daoust
Posts: 487 - Karma: 103
i smoked a week before a drug test and passed. I dont do any exercising outside of a game of hockey or 2 every week and skiing, and im probably slightly overweight. I didn't do anything to clean out my system but somehow i passed. Just giving you some hope, but still do whatever is recommended to help get it outta your system.
Mar 18 2012 2:10PM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
drink two cups of bleach an hour before the test, you won't have to worry about the test any more ;)
Mar 18 2012 2:12PM
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B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 361
what the fuck
Mar 18 2012 2:15PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I'm not saying it's aliens...but it's aliens.
Mar 18 2012 2:17PM
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InfiniteSteeze
Posts: 134 - Karma: 33
Cranberry Juice definitely and also if you can withstand the taste try vinegar and water. Just carry a gallon of it around and drink throughout the day
Mar 18 2012 2:20PM
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Davin
Posts: 669 - Karma: 354
whatever you do, dont pee in the cup until you are in the middle of your piss. the beginning and end have most of the THC
Mar 18 2012 2:22PM
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Algebra
Posts: 5215 - Karma: 1,677
chill in a sauna and sweat a lot. sweating helps release toxins and such. also drink cranberry juice or water. dont eat cat nip (dont know if ur weird and like cat nip) but it contains small amounts of thc. very small. dont smoke it.
Mar 18 2012 3:03PM
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Radio
Posts: 946 - Karma: 12
im going to smoke some cat nip right now
Mar 18 2012 3:07PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
cranberry juice doesnt do anything to help. niacin may or may not, the theory behind it makes sense, but idk how much its applicable to the real world. vinager doesnt do anything. drinking more than a normal amount of water during thhe week doesnt help.


cut your calories and workout a lot over this next week. 24 hours before the test, start eating like a fucking horse and being super lazy, so that you are ONLY burning your food for calories and none of your stored fat.

you should be fine by then.


this next part is risky, so only do it if you still think you are completely fucked-

drink a bunch of water before the test, and take a multi vitamin that contains b-vitamins(will turn your piss yellow). the whole week prior you need to be loading creatine as that is one of the compounds they look for to make sure the urine isnt diluted.
Mar 18 2012 3:20PM
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Film.
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 2,296
http://jezebel.com/5814152/how-to-pass-a-drug-test

Hope this helps! Good luck man! Drink a shit ton of water and tea. Piss ALOT. Sweat a lot....Work out a ton
Mar 18 2012 3:22PM
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EastCoast315
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 137
uhhhhh, calling bullshit on this puppy.
Mar 18 2012 3:25PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51666 - Karma: 162,575
Drink lots of piss
Mar 18 2012 3:26PM
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rainystatesteeze
Posts: 370 - Karma: 10
just went through this... drink alot of water (ALOT) and get a detox tea it will make you piss alot more frequently, break a good sweat!
Mar 18 2012 3:36PM
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
This.

Just go to work with your dad and ask the aliens he's working with to help you out.
Mar 18 2012 3:41PM
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c_roll
Posts: 584 - Karma: 246
Turns out my dad is just a complete ass hole wants to give me a drug test because i got caught with weed like 3 months ago and hes making sure I'm clean. It has nothing to do with his job. Hes a dick.
Mar 18 2012 3:43PM
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Darth.Maul
Posts: 2472 - Karma: 652
Drink tons of water and excersise lots and youll get a false negative. My bro got tons of court ordered drug tests and that worked out for him
Mar 18 2012 3:44PM
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throatyogurt
Posts: 153 - Karma: 13
OH NO! well since you smoked marijuana you are probably going to die in the next few days so don't worry about it..
Mar 18 2012 3:45PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Orrrr you got caught in a lie on the internet and are now telling us the truth.
Mar 18 2012 3:45PM
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Deluge
Posts: 4401 - Karma: 805
creatine.

you can pick up some pills in the health and body section at walmart or something but it helped my friend pass his test as well, you have to drink lots of water but it works
Mar 18 2012 3:47PM
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2_fadez
Posts: 7780 - Karma: 4,183
Click for larger image
Mar 18 2012 3:47PM
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c_roll
Posts: 584 - Karma: 246
Oh snap, i didnt see you when my dad came in my room this morning and told me my whole family needs to take a drug test for his job. Shit man, maybe i dremt that shit and it wasnt even real! you must know EVERYTHING. practically jesus god damn christ!
Mar 18 2012 3:49PM
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El.Guapo
Posts: 2139 - Karma: 3,173
epicac?
Mar 18 2012 3:49PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I can see why your dad thinks you're on drugs.
Mar 18 2012 3:50PM
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c_roll
Posts: 584 - Karma: 246
................ yeah
Mar 18 2012 3:51PM
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Crossfade
Posts: 743 - Karma: 24
Yea I have a test coming up in May.  Gonna try and stop smoking for April so, threads.
Mar 18 2012 3:53PM
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Film.
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 2,296
but but but what about 4/20? hahahahahah
Mar 18 2012 4:00PM
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Crossfade
Posts: 743 - Karma: 24
Yea it shall be an unhappy 420 but the drug & alcohol test is for a high-paying job.  First paycheck I am buying a nice new glass piece.
Mar 18 2012 4:03PM
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Lucas
Posts: 4881 - Karma: 1,575
Drink straight vinegar with some baking soda and you'll have really bad diahrea but bit will clean you out
Mar 18 2012 4:03PM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
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troll dad
Mar 18 2012 4:04PM
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Lansfield
Posts: 2708 - Karma: 321
http://www.ureasample.com/buy-drug-test-solutions/store/comersus_viewItem.asp?idProduct=1072 < Fool proof.
Mar 18 2012 4:17PM
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Dr.Gnar
Posts: 896 - Karma: 197
Unless you can get your hands on some artificial urine, you, sir, are FUCKED.
Mar 18 2012 4:29PM
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
I'll sell you my pee
Mar 18 2012 5:01PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
its really easy, all you have to do is
Mar 18 2012 5:06PM
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pigglywiggly
Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305
get your friend who is clean to pee in bottle of some sort. then wear compression shorts and put the bottle of piss in your gooch. it will hide it as well as keep it the right temperature. dump the friends clean pee in the cup..boom, you pass. my school randomly drug tests us and me and all my friends do with with a five hour energy bottle..and we've all passed everytime including myself. problem is if someone is watching you pee for your test (some tests require someone to watch), then youre screwed.
Mar 18 2012 5:44PM
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sndyrvr
Posts: 684 - Karma: 119
This
Mar 18 2012 6:03PM
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fresherthanfresh
Posts: 16 - Karma: 11
Damnit was going to post that
Mar 18 2012 6:12PM
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~~~~~~~~
Posts: 2345 - Karma: 2,104
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ALOT^?

or a lot?
Mar 18 2012 6:56PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51666 - Karma: 162,575
I'll piss on you, if that'll help?
Mar 18 2012 7:20PM
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caturdaze
Posts: 338 - Karma: 12
Go to a smoke shop near your house and buy a detox kit. usually take like 3 days to clean your system. there only like 30 dollars

Mar 18 2012 7:46PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
how does it work?


oh, you dont know?


Oh, they actually have zero studies to back up their claims?

but it makes you piss yellowish green so its removing THC, you say?

Its helped one of your friends pass a drug test? awesome, im sure there werent any other contributing factors to him passing.



What was i thinking, It must work. forgive me for questioning the product.

Mar 18 2012 7:54PM
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412.
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 247
Drink : Water, Cranberry Juice
Eat : Bread , Carbs
Do : Exercise, Cardio
Don't : Drink Soda , Buy a "Detox Kit"

http://www.passyourdrugtest.com/timetable.htm

Scroll To the bottom and check the chart.

I think you'll be fine.
Mar 18 2012 7:55PM
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sherwood4099
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 22
Seriously. People suggest that junk every time a thread comes up. I wish I was the guy who came up with the idea to write "pass a drug test" "100%" or "detox" on a bottle hahah
Mar 18 2012 8:05PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
what does cranberry juice do to inhibit the release of cannaboid metabolites into your urine? why do people think it works?

Dont: exercise the day of your test
Do: gorge yourself on anything and everything the day of the test.


Mar 18 2012 8:12PM
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412.
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 247
I've passed every time with it. Why not use it? It's still a liquid that helps cleanse you. Doesnt hurt to try a possible detox.
Mar 18 2012 8:18PM
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~~~~~~~~
Posts: 2345 - Karma: 2,104
Why are you being so god damn condescending in this thread?
Mar 18 2012 8:31PM
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The_Big_Tuna
Posts: 799 - Karma: 75
lololololol'd so hard.
Mar 18 2012 8:48PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
because the "detox" solutions people are posting are fucking stupid...and blatantly so.

Mar 18 2012 8:48PM
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