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je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

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Your username is how you die

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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Yes I know it's on other forums but not here

I'll start
I'm making a scene in the DMV when suddenly a rogue piece of sheet metal falls off an airliner and cuts my arm off.
On the way to the hospital, the apocalypse begins

Go
Mar 13 2012 1:32PM
4 1
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sick-as-aids
Posts: 3453 - Karma: 1,007
guess im fucked
Mar 13 2012 6:15PM
0 0
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maximiliaan
Posts: 7711 - Karma: 2,857
youre going to catch an flu
Mar 13 2012 6:16PM
0 0
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
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Mar 13 2012 6:21PM
0 0
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.Natty.
Posts: 1030 - Karma: 84
drank too much at a frat party, oh well
Mar 13 2012 6:51PM
0 0
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jewFro
Posts: 562 - Karma: 24
Someone's probably just going to get so pissed at the way my hair looks that they're just going to fucking kill me.
Mar 13 2012 7:27PM
0 0
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PON3
Posts: 3817 - Karma: 783
Kappa Sig. Its go hard or go home!
Mar 13 2012 7:46PM
0 0
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lukewalnuts
Posts: 2730 - Karma: 152
so I get eaten by a squirrel...


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Mar 13 2012 7:48PM
0 0
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elemeno89
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 79
ill guess ill suffer a massive stroke during a spelling bee. idk, did i do it right?
Mar 13 2012 7:49PM
0 0
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SpaghettiWizard
Posts: 2825 - Karma: 166
I'm eating spaghetti, the spaghetti on my plate turns into a wizard, but a dark wizard, like voldemort, and he goes AVADA KADAVERA and I die.
Mar 13 2012 7:53PM
0 0
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.Jacob
Posts: 1838 - Karma: 1,160
A pack of stampeding rabid white moose.
Mar 13 2012 7:54PM
0 0
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Dr.Newschoolers
Posts: 1357 - Karma: 508
I just die normally because I have no idea
Mar 13 2012 7:56PM
0 0
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AwR
Posts: 5148 - Karma: 1,898
mass suicide from a group obsessed with moon tides...years later we will blame it on the Japa earthquake.
Mar 13 2012 7:56PM
0 0
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egg.
Posts: 3231 - Karma: 3,477


tragic snake attack...
Mar 13 2012 8:02PM
0 0
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majorleagueNS
Posts: 93 - Karma: 50

i wonder

Mar 13 2012 8:11PM
0 0
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bo0b
Posts: 2964 - Karma: 996
Awwww yeeeah....
Mar 13 2012 8:36PM
0 0
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,403
a wolf kills me I suppose
Mar 13 2012 8:40PM
0 0
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
no, you die because you do not receive the medicine needed to cure your common but fatal if untreated illness as delivered by a pack of dogs and a wooden sled!




geez.
Mar 13 2012 8:42PM
0 0
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Big.Bird
Posts: 563 - Karma: 180
i get killed by a sesame street character. not too bad
Mar 13 2012 8:45PM
0 0
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,464
i guess ill be really fat
Mar 13 2012 9:14PM
0 0
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I.B
Posts: 8137 - Karma: 24,358
um.....fuck.
Mar 13 2012 9:20PM
0 0
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
Lucky bastard
Mar 13 2012 9:20PM
0 0
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
an incest baby is going to kill you
Mar 13 2012 9:21PM
0 0
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
dying in an avalanche of raspberries = not a bad way to go
Mar 13 2012 9:23PM
0 0
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
enter IB school program, die of dehydration during a long exam.
Mar 13 2012 9:23PM
0 0
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5908 - Karma: 3,732
lol classy
Mar 13 2012 9:23PM
0 0
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k-rob
Posts: 14217 - Karma: 2,892
mine's just my nickname... makes sense seeing as how i'll probably commit suicide
Mar 13 2012 9:23PM
0 0
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act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
it will be a delicious death indeed
Mar 13 2012 9:24PM
0 0
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
I build a time machine and travel back to the 17th century where i try to preemptively publish all the things that Baruch Spinoza will eventually publish,  thus making a name for myself.   But he finds out my plans and kills me with a sword.
damn
Mar 13 2012 9:25PM
0 0
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
RAPTURE
Mar 13 2012 9:29PM
0 0
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ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
I drown in kool aid. Sweet. Pun intended.
Mar 13 2012 9:32PM
0 0
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
So in another thread that I'm sure none of you remember or even saw I told you about my plan to become famous. Here's a slightly shortened version of that:

I beat it all day long for months on end to internet porn. When my right arm is absolutely massive I enter the UFC. I go undefeated beating everybody I face by one hit KO's in every fight. I become UFC champion, make millions off of merchandise, endorsement deals, and a TV sitcom called "The Meatpounder" (also my nickname). So that's the rich and famous part.

So that's the rich and famous part. Here's how I die:

I've long since retired from the UFC but I've been eyeing a comeback. The proposed fight is very Rocky IV as I would be fighting a Russian who uses steroids and fancy training equipment while I train old school. You know, beating it to 70's porn. So anyway, during one of my "training sessions" I start to feel light headed and I find it very hard to move. My wife (Olivia Wilde, thank you very much) rushes me to the hospital. After some quick tests it is revealed that I had beat it so much that my body was finding how to keep up so it had begun ejaculating spinal fluid. The doctor said I could never "finish" again or I would die. After some a lengthy discussion I come to a final conclusion. Me and Olivia Wilde bang right there on the doctors table. Just BAM BAM BAM. Finally, I finish. With one last grunt the life flows out of my and I collapse on the doctors table. Olivia throws her naked body on top of me, crying with despair. And that, gentlemen, is how I will die. By my own hand
Mar 13 2012 9:43PM
0 0
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BmoChop
Posts: 2071 - Karma: 96
>spaghetti is cascading from my pockets
>I start to shake
>the force of the flowing spaghetti launches me into the air
Mar 13 2012 10:23PM
0 0
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disastertourism
Posts: 2402 - Karma: 135
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Mar 13 2012 10:32PM
0 0
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
You die when Saddam Hussein blows up heaven

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Mar 13 2012 10:32PM
0 0
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Timmy.
Posts: 507 - Karma: 22
someone gets really excited when they realize that my username is actually my last name with the letters mixed up, calls their mom to let them know that they had figured it out but they are on the phone while driving they run a red light and t-bone another car creating a massive pile up 3 minutes from my home. i am on vacation at this time and die from unsanitary drinking water
Mar 13 2012 10:33PM
0 0
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
no goddamn idea
Mar 13 2012 10:34PM
0 0
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future-spins
Posts: 395 - Karma: 900
i will do lots of un styleishflips and spins with no grab, no need to be unique
fuck, i do that everyday
Mar 13 2012 10:34PM
0 0
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NickelPennyDime
Posts: 248 - Karma: 38
You win, I would die from change being thrown at me
Mar 13 2012 10:36PM
0 0
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
You can make it more exciting than that
Mar 13 2012 10:38PM
0 0
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Film.
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 2,296
Will filming at Keystoned I am extremely drunk and stoned while trying to film I collide with a gaper then the tripod with the great force stabs through my head and I Die?
Any other suggestions?
Mar 13 2012 10:38PM
0 0
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TheHamburglar
Posts: 3895 - Karma: 3,317
hahahhaah
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Mar 13 2012 10:44PM
0 0
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
I got one.

You receive a mysterious video tape in the mail. You've heard rumors of a "killer video tape" going around. According to the police every victim of the tape died when their eyeballs exploded through the back of their heads upon viewing. Upon arrival at the scenes the tape is always missing but the police have hypothesized they were watching the tape as each victim had popcorn and had told friends that they had received a mysterious video tape and were sitting down to watch it. Nobody knows what is on the tape because nobody has survived watching it. Ignoring all your common sense you decide to watch it anyway. You put the tape in. What you see is too horrific to process. Your eyes try to shut but you can't look away. Your body reacts so violently that your eyes, as described, shoot through the back of your head in a desperate attempt to escape. What you have just watched was the sex tape of Gary Busey and Cathy Bates
Mar 13 2012 10:47PM
0 0
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Film.
Posts: 2649 - Karma: 2,296
I Loled sooooooo hard! hahahah
Mar 14 2012 8:36PM
0 0
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Hugo_Reyes
Posts: 176 - Karma: 12
obesity
Mar 14 2012 8:37PM
0 0
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PurpleDino
Posts: 1513 - Karma: 483
I am not creative enough to write a story about how I will die from a Purple Dino
Mar 14 2012 8:42PM
0 0
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12026 - Karma: 9,554
i get shot in the hood by an ak47


but my name was not to be a gangsta. it was i love mount hood and i ratted it up there so hoodrats then i had to get a new name cause i was not in the hoodratz cru so i added 47 my fav numberr


just fyi i am not a wigger
Mar 14 2012 9:08PM
0 0
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StreetsOfRage
Posts: 1180 - Karma: 4
I guess either the streets raged on me and killed me. Or I died driving someone hit me or I hit something.
Mar 14 2012 9:11PM
0 0
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japanada
Posts: 13785 - Karma: 1,956
I get attacked by a japanese panda while rippin that jap powpow
Mar 14 2012 9:11PM
0 0
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ryantheconnolly
Posts: 2027 - Karma: 108
hippopotami*
Mar 14 2012 9:25PM
0 0
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Aidan-G
Posts: 9415 - Karma: 10,861
I miss this thread
Oct 1 2012 10:52PM
0 0
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