Replying to Fear holding me Back?

Hi,

  So I pretty much started skiing last year (well, outside of barely doing parralel turns on groomers). I have skied a shit ton since then probably close to 70 times here up at Snowbird I would say. Anyways, now I am a decent skier, I am always working on my skiing as far as making good turns and getting better in that way. I am sort of what you could call somewhat of a pussy though. I try to push myself but sometimes I really just can't, there are many days I have off days and I am just not having fun and style goes away, when I just loose all of my stoke on skiing. and I get scared and overthink instead of just doing stuff that I otherwise wouldn't have to think so much on. I ski at Snowbird and never ski park. Like some days I get scared doing 180's and feel like I have to push myself just for a simple 1 off of a cat track, then when I do it I either fall or it's sketch and terrible form. I know when I am not having as much fun or the snow sucks (usually when poor conditions) is when my skiing is very reserved like that. But I will have other days when i am having fun and skiing decent like last weekend when it was warm with soft now, when I am not as afraid to huck bigger stuff, for example on my last run, there is this cat track edge thing and an orange rope down below that you can pop over and the landing is mostly untracked, noone ever hits it... probably the craziest thing I have done all year because i went so much bigger than i had in mind, I crashed and tomahawked down and I was just fine but I wish I could ski with that no fear and just huck more stuff than I do. I feel like even sometimes on the powder days though I still have to push myself really hard, it's not as bad though when I get into my own little zone sometimes and not nearly as afraid to try bigger stuff.  I have wanted to get my 3s down all season, but I didn't actually try one until december on a small jump and fell the first 5 times and then the next day I landed like 4 sketchy small ones and I haven't tried one ever since that little jump got snowed in. Pfff 

But i know a kid who is really not afraid to throw anything, he once tried to 180 a huge jump he knew he wouldn't land just for shits. He actually proabably falls more than he lands shit. Then i know kids who just ski around groomers mostly and pop off little bumps and don't ever progress w/ their skiing. I am not that much of a pussy but i definately need to get better. I am always too afraid to throw a 3 and the other thing is that rope gap I crashed on last time, I was planning to hit that more than a few times today and of course not go nearly as big off of it but when I got up there to the edge and looked down I was thinking No Way is it going to happen and i didn't do it. Although last time it was untracked spring snow and this time it was old win packed tracked-out. But sometimes even when there is fresh snow I have a hard time bringing myself to do stuff I know I won't get hurt on. Our winter has been bad this year and for the most part, the snow was just packed 2week-3week old snow so I have been taking it easy all year it feels like waiting for soft to try stuff, our Christmas break we didn't get one snow storm.

I have gotten a lot better since the first of this year, I am definately hitting bigger and bigger stuff working my way up but i am just mad because I feel like I should be able to at least lay down somewhat smoothe 3's by now with how big the stuff I do is and I have been too afraid to really take any steps in that direction. Something about 3's freaks the hell out of me for some reason, but i feel like I could get them if I wasn't so scared.

 Any advice?