Dads are the most under-appreciated people in the world. To all of those people complaining about their dads because they left home, or because they are abusive, or because they drink, please take your time to read this, even though you may not believe it.
All a dad wants to do is provide for his family and make them as happy as possible. many dads resort to drinking and, in turn, abuse, after long periods of being unsuccessful. dads take more responsibility upon themselves than any other people, and when they fail they take it harder than anybody else as well. abusive fathers don't hate their children, rather the opposite, they love their children and cannot stand to see themselves fail to provide for them. the anger expressed through abuse is oftentimes anger towards themselves, not towards the children or wife.
that being said, abuse is not right and is not tolerable. i know because i have been on the receiving end for a while. i also know that fathers can change.
up until january 1st, 2011, my father was extremely pressuring. at sports games, he was always the loudest parent, and in the car he was even louder. he'd yell at me after almost every game regardless of whichever three sports it was, soccer, hockey, or baseball. sometimes it wasn't bad, other times it was really bad. me and my brother would constantly be the subject of arguing between my parents, but besides one shove my dad NEVER laid a hand on my mother. occasionally he would slap me or my brother, or throw stuff of ours on the ground, but most of it was verbal abuse. if we left stuff out, we'd find it in the trash the next day (i'm not talking small stuff, i mean computer chargers, baseball gloves, phones... etc.). if we didn't come down to the base lodge after a day of skiing on time, he'd leave us at the mountain alone. sometimes he'd tell us that he was embarrassed to be around us after we miss behaved in public or played poorly in sporting events.
new years night 2010 we were getting ready to visit a family friends house for new years. unbeknownst to anybody at that point, my dad had recently been to the doctor to talk about his cholesterol. apparently, the doctor told him that if he ever wanted to see me, the oldest son, get married, my dad would need to do some serious work on his cholesterol. anyways, one thing led to another and suddenly we were all arguing. after he promptly left us at the house and headed over alone, my mom drove me and my brother over as well. my dad, emotionally beat from arguing, from stress at work, and especially from his talk with the doctor, drank too much. he handled it well, making it out of the house to puke, and then driving himself to the hospital. he got his stomach pumped that night in the hospital. that night, something changed. my father left the hospital 2 days later and called up a mariage counselor and started going with my mom once a week. he worked with me and my brother to coordinate surprise date nights with our mom, and he and her started talking out their disputes rather than fighting them out. next thing i know, my dad starts hitting the gym. he lost 50 pounds over the next couple of months and started watching what he ate. better than any of that, the fighting stopped. after sports games, he sought the positive in how i had played, and told me for perhaps the first time in my life, that he was proud of me.
after that, i realized that my dad had only been so hard on me and my brother because he wanted us to succeed. i've been through hell with my dad and i love him to death. he continually supports me in sports, academics, and in my interests. he not only taught me and my brother to ski when i was 5 by pulling us up the bunny slope about 100 times, but he has also provided us with a great life, and quite frankly, it has been amazing to see his transformation. regardless of how proud he is of me, i know i'll always be extremely proud of him.
embrace your dads everybody, the love a father has for his son is perhaps the strongest emotion in the world. even if your dad left home years ago, i'd bet money that your father still thinks about you daily.
