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Awkward bathroom announcements?

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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
Do any of you do awkward bathroom announcements or is it just me. Say I am in a public bathroom dropping the brown, and someone walks in...I give a little sniff/cough to announce that I am in the room. I have heard other guys do it too. Just to kind of make my presence known, so that they don't do anything weird or walk in on me. Or especially if I am in a public bathroom where the lock is broken. Gotta be making noise so people don't walk in on you.

Am I the only one?
Jan 22 2012 12:57AM
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cheener12
Posts: 2881 - Karma: 5,884
our school bathrooms don't have locks so when pooping I might shuffle my feet on occasion. haha
Jan 22 2012 1:00AM
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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
There we go! See I knew i wasn't the only one
Jan 22 2012 1:00AM
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hot.pocket
Posts: 4225 - Karma: 10,625
I thought this was going to be stories of telling people in the other stall awkward things...this thread does not deliver.
Jan 22 2012 1:01AM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
Definitely do this in public bathrooms. A cough or tapping of the foot. Once a dude came in and I figured he saw my feet because the stall was like more or less in front of the door so I didn't make my self known. He started singing really badly while peeing and i gave a little throat clear and he stopped singing so fast. Hilarious.
Jan 22 2012 1:04AM
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RiddleMeThis
Posts: 749 - Karma: 117
"i have the weirdest boner right now" is always a good one
Jan 22 2012 1:04AM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
i though it was gonna be this picture

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Jan 22 2012 1:23AM
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ski4freee
Posts: 259 - Karma: 19
I usually make the "Feels like razor blades" announcement when i start pissing just so its awkward for everyone else in the restroom
Jan 22 2012 1:26AM
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CassiusClay
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 2
I usually just come out with it. Someone walks into the bathroom while I'm taking a shit? I push as hard as I can emitting sounds like those of a devil. If it's not loud enough I'll say "hey I'm taking a shit in here, sorry for the smell"... I'm never actually sorry.
Jan 22 2012 1:40AM
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introvert
Posts: 4718 - Karma: 1,482
hahahahahahah
Jan 22 2012 1:43AM
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DW.
Posts: 2683 - Karma: 74
...hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha...
Jan 22 2012 1:47AM
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skijunkiedtm
Posts: 9229 - Karma: 61
I sing.
Jan 22 2012 1:51AM
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Steve-Brown
Posts: 1894 - Karma: 810
i do the foot shuffle, but a couple days ago, i thought my bud came into the bathroom just after i did, so i talked in some hoarse smoker voice saying "hey sonny" just weird shit like that.....turns out it was the fucking janitor....most awkward thing i've ever done in my life.....next to this one kid sharted his longjons in pizza hut, so he went to the bathroom, then put the longjons on our pizza hut table...the shit soaked long jons. i got the kid a bag for them. actually that was just tonight. so those are my awkward bathroom moments
Jan 22 2012 2:09AM
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Clark_Griswold
Posts: 1283 - Karma: 49
i hope you are serious because i actually do simply to irritate people, i've done it since i was a small child
Jan 22 2012 2:13AM
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CassiusClay
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 2
When I was in 5th grade, a buddy of mine thought it was funny as fuck to piss on my shoes mid piss when we were in urinals next to each other. Not funny. I decided to do the same to him one day at the airport (there were those awkward walls extending to protect peter peepers from looking at your wang). I started pissing all over his shoes and was cracking up, after about 5-6 seconds I was wondering why he hadn't said anything. I took a step back to see a random, 40 something year old man staring at me. Needless to say, there was no time for zipping my pants, I sprinted past the sinks simultaneously pissing on various people in the way and finished my piss just outside of the bathroom. My parents weren't exactly impressed. The worst part was they grounded for me for a week and wouldn't let me watch my favorite show, the fresh prince of bel air.
Jan 22 2012 2:21AM
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CassiusClay
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 2
Click for larger image

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Jan 22 2012 2:25AM
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SenorVaca
Posts: 246 - Karma: 25
We have a winner! I lost so fucking hard +k for the laughs
Jan 22 2012 8:07PM
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jewFro
Posts: 562 - Karma: 24
I always exclaim "You sunk my battleship!" when my shit drops into the toilet.
Jan 22 2012 8:20PM
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Deluge
Posts: 4401 - Karma: 805
Happened to my friend but he was pissing at a urinal during class (HS) and some freshman kid goes up and starts peeing at the urinal right next to him when all the others (3 of them) are open and turns to my friend while peeing and goes "aw fuck man it feels so good" my friend just walked away..
Jan 22 2012 8:24PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
I have a small school with about 70 kids/class. So when I take my daily 9th period dump during study hall, there's like a 50% chance that if someone walks in, they'll say "who's that in there?" or something whilst pissing, and I'll know who it is just by voice most of the time. Also, double dumping is great fun, especially when you initiate conversation and only slightly know them.

"So, how's it goiiinnnnn...., everything coming out ok?"
Jan 22 2012 8:25PM
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cheener12
Posts: 2881 - Karma: 5,884
I loled soooo many times reading this thread.
Jan 22 2012 8:56PM
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Good_Deed
Posts: 1260 - Karma: 1,321
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Jan 22 2012 8:57PM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
you have 9 periods? How does that work?
Jan 22 2012 9:00PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
oh yeah im always down to get a little weird in the bathroom.
Jan 22 2012 9:03PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
eight class periods are 42 minutes, lunch is 27, 3 minutes to and from each class.

42x8=336
27x1= 27
3x9 = 27
-----------
~~~~390

390/60 = 6.5 hours. 8:00 to 2:30

that's how it works.
Jan 22 2012 9:15PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
Hahaha that was amazing +l
Jan 22 2012 9:18PM
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melbs
Posts: 415 - Karma: 77
I completely lost
Jan 22 2012 9:19PM
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BieberHole69
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 2,718
One day on the way to hockey practice when I was 12, I had that explosive diarrhea feeling in my stomach. I had my dad stop at a McDonalds and I quickly ran in. There's a single stall (handicapped size) and a urinal and go fuckin figure the lock on the stall door is broken. I couldn't reach the door from the seat, but I didn't care because I had to unleash.

Anyway, a couple minutes in, I hear the door open so I start coughing and shuffling my feet, basically just trying to do anything to let the person know I was in there. For god knows why this hard of hearing mother fucker pushes the stall door open and I'm just sitting there marinating in my filth. He immediately goes "ooooopp", ya know the dumb startled sound people make, and then closes the door. I can't imagine how bad it smelled to him.
Jan 22 2012 9:48PM
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malonius_funk
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,500
sometimes when my friends and i need to shit and we're in a public area we'll sit in the stalls and make really fucked up noises when someone walks in. or we'll say really fucked up stuff like "oh shit dude my ass hole is bleeding so much!" shit gets real awkward real quick
Jan 22 2012 11:12PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
one thing i've realized, men can talk about taking shits for as long as eternity and never get bored of it.
Jan 22 2012 11:13PM
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Broken_Rides
Posts: 334 - Karma: 224

Stall 1 - "What did you do last knight?"

Stall 2 - " I'm BleeeeDiiiinnngg! "

Had a hard time peeing after that.

On a side note, I've never pissed myself laughing.

Jan 22 2012 11:18PM
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ski93
Posts: 1280 - Karma: 84
bahaha

I never really do the awkward bathroom announcements. I usually just go into stealth mode, more my thing
Jan 22 2012 11:20PM
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broto
Posts: 9039 - Karma: 25,662
it appears that you have the opposite problem
Jan 22 2012 11:21PM
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