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Anorexia is a bitch of disease...

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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
I'm gonna keep this comparatively short (it would be a few pages typed if i told the full story) and to the point

For the past six months I have been fighting a downward battle with anorexia and two days ago i hit my, what I hope, was the lowest point in my life. I visited the doctor to my weekly weigh in(to monitor my progress with the anorexia) and results were fatal. I slumped to 104 pounds and my heart rate was sitting at 37 bpm on the EKG. At 5 foot 10 inches and being a fully developed man my BMI dipped below 15.

Yesterday i was admitted for inpatient care at a children's hospital where i will spend my Christmas morning getting myself medically stable. I originally had plans to fly to Ireland to attend my Grand-Parents 50th anniversary, but my doctor is worried that my heart won't be able to handle it

I'm mingling with death and I'm really fucking scared to say the least, thank you for listening
Dec 14 2011 7:27AM
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ryantheconnolly
Posts: 2027 - Karma: 108
just wondering, is your anorexia a choice or is it something you can't really control? i would say just eat more food but im sure it's not that easy. vibes man
Dec 14 2011 7:30AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
You'll be alright dude :). Stay healthy....Healthy is fun
Dec 14 2011 7:31AM
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Montville57
Posts: 1364 - Karma: 18
.... Eat?
Dec 14 2011 7:40AM
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YoursAndMind
Posts: 335 - Karma: 31
You're a fully developed man with 50 year old grandparents?? There's something just not adding up there
Dec 14 2011 7:44AM
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bermbuster49
Posts: 7445 - Karma: 90
damn hope you get healthy soon, i find it hard to have simpathy for people that just cant eat because it seems like such a trivial thing. But i assume its something you really cant control, so just try and get your mind right and eat. good luck man
Dec 14 2011 7:49AM
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alexg1687
Posts: 1505 - Karma: 1,581
Eating isn't the long term solution. Its much easier to be happy with your body if you're fit and healthy. Exercise is going to help a lot. I don't mean spending 12 hours a day at the gym but more like finding a fun activity to take your mind off things. Skiing comes to mind!
Dec 14 2011 7:50AM
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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
50th anniversary*

To those commenting on the absurdness of the disorder try and understand this. Anorexia is a psychological disorder like depression, but it's affects are very physical. I feel selfish for letting myself reach this low a point (first world problems). I completely understand why people think it's a stupid disorder, but remember it's not all about eating

Infact i can't eat right now. I am spending some time on IV because my body can't receive nutrients fast enough to get myself medically safe
Dec 14 2011 7:58AM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
shit, really hope you'll recover soon, anorexia is really a terrible disease. The stupid comments about just eating and exercising made me lol, but in all seriousness, I hope you are seeing a psychologist of some sort...
Dec 14 2011 8:06AM
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1337
Posts: 31054 - Karma: 29,231
wow man, sounds really rough :( hopefully everything is going to turn around for you and you can get back to being healthy. Best of luck to you, and if you need to talk, pm me. seriously.
Dec 14 2011 8:06AM
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YoursAndMind
Posts: 335 - Karma: 31
ma badd
Dec 14 2011 8:11AM
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shea.
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 193
Just keep getting help man things will get better! Both my sisters are dealing with anorexia and its been a hard long journey for our whole family but we are sticking together and fighting this. There is always some1 who will listen. And dont take any offence from any1 who post negativly on this site or says anything negative about you. No one knows what your going through and hardly anyone on here will know nything about anorexia properly. For those of you who dont know, Anorexia is a mental illness, its not a choice. Do people choose to have bi polar? no, its the same sort of deal with anorexia.
Dec 14 2011 8:14AM
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Dock.Ellis
Posts: 136 - Karma: 19
I wish the best of luck to you in your recovery, vibes man
Dec 14 2011 8:15AM
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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
That's all sorted out. Immediate goal is to get safe. Long term goal is healthy and happy. While i'm inpatient we will be creating a plan for when i'm outpatient to achieve happy and healthy.
Dec 14 2011 8:16AM
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Montville57
Posts: 1364 - Karma: 18
Also coming from a person that had a sister that suffered from anerexia, seek help like a psychiatrist, it helped my sister get through hers.
Dec 14 2011 8:29AM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
It's their 50th anniversary dumbass
Dec 14 2011 8:31AM
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Orrin
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114
Hope you get back on your feet and can defeat your anorexia. Hang in there!
Dec 14 2011 8:35AM
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5oup5teeze
Posts: 1259 - Karma: 74
yo i feel for ya man! i've never had this before and i can only imagine what it's like. but i'm sending positive vibes your way to get better! good luck!!
Dec 14 2011 8:56AM
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Park_Ranger
Posts: 3825 - Karma: 8,635
good luck with all this man! you got it! just stay positive, and think of your future
Dec 14 2011 9:17AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
it's a psychological disorder. no more or less trivial than any other disorder. it's the real deal, my prayers are with the OP and his loved ones
Dec 14 2011 9:27AM
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rareison
Posts: 10263 - Karma: 219
Fuck man, that sounds really shitty. Hope you can recover, +vibes dude.
Dec 14 2011 9:31AM
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Gmart
Posts: 1634 - Karma: 273
hope u recover soon and beat annorexia!
Dec 14 2011 11:29AM
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YoursAndMind
Posts: 335 - Karma: 31
Read the fucking thread I clearly already realized that
Dec 14 2011 11:30AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51630 - Karma: 162,077
Food is good man. IF you ever come to the north east I'll make you some dank meals.
Dec 14 2011 11:36AM
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mehregan15
Posts: 780 - Karma: 753
vibes!
Dec 14 2011 11:41AM
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NoBigDeal
Posts: 2790 - Karma: 629
vibes, i hope you heal up and are happy again soon! hopefully your christmas is still a great one
Dec 14 2011 11:43AM
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Mr.Gaga
Posts: 2021 - Karma: 542
My mom almost died from anorexia when she was 18. When doctors saw her they said she had 2-3 days left before she died. But they helped her and she got over it, when I learned alll this 30 years later I almost couldn't belive it, she was just a very normal mom like every other mom. You'll work your way out of it ++vibes
Dec 14 2011 11:46AM
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saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
Hey man. Huge props to you for taking steps to get healthy again. I hope your recovery is quick and and that it is the end of it. Take care.
Dec 14 2011 11:49AM
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hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
wtf
Dec 14 2011 11:50AM
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midwestmike
Posts: 138 - Karma: 9
i wish you the best of luck good sir. have you tried some sort of group therapy? that's always good with any psychological illness. vibes to you for your recovery!
Dec 14 2011 11:53AM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
Wedding anniversary...
Dec 14 2011 11:54AM
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.Emerson.
Posts: 1548 - Karma: 16
I'm really sorry about this but I have to post it

Click for larger image
Dec 14 2011 12:07PM
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Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
http://www.recoveryisbeautiful.tumblr.com NAOW.
Dec 14 2011 12:10PM
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bangarangmules
Posts: 5065 - Karma: 84
Sorry to hear that man, keep working hard. I hope you get on your feet and be healthy and happy again soon!
Dec 14 2011 12:14PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
exactly what i was thinking...

in america weed is illegal. they would rather have you go spend thousands of dollars at the doctor then thousands of dollars on medication that has all kinds of chemicals in them that will probably kill you anyways.. rather than roll up a doob smoke it and eat a bunch of food.


hope all goes well for you OP, I really dont know anything about anorexia but I dunno find some foods you like and just crush them! like I know you gotta love mexican food, who doesnt love mexican food!?! i cant tell you more than a doctor obviously but yo you are a 5'10 dude, if you dont eat cause you think you will get fat your something thats crazy! start hitting the gym when you get your weight up a little bit, getting into an athletic routine where you are burning what you eat up and constantly giving yourself energy you may find your own cure to anorexia in this then again maybe not im no doctor I just use common sense.
Dec 14 2011 12:17PM
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rrawdog
Posts: 28 - Karma: 35
Hang in there bro. My cousin dealt with this for two years and your story sounds similar. Present day she is doing well and i hope your recovery goes nicely. Anorexia is a bitch so be stronger than her.
Dec 14 2011 12:21PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
Anorexia is beyond common sense. If it were as simple as just eating the foods you like, people wouldn't have anorexia. Also, don't go telling someone who has a mental illness/disease that their behaviour is crazy. Also, like the op mentioned, he's 5'10 and 105 lbs. He doesn't have the ability to process nutrients when he eats, let alone go to the gym.
Dec 14 2011 12:23PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
its called being real and sometimes you gotta be real with people.

I wasn't calling him CRAAZZZYYYY like omg dude you don't eat you are fucking crazzyyy. I think its crazy that people think they are going to get fat from eating, ya if you eat too much or the wrong shit sure you will get fat. I already said I am not a doctor so I am not sure how anorexia starts for people I'm sure its different in different cases, but in girls I'm sure it has a lot to do with thinking they are going to get fat, I can only imagine its probably somewhat the same with males. I also mentioned going to the gym once he is healthier to get into a healthier routine, I did not tell him to start going to the gym today, apparently your ability to read and comprehend what you are reading is very low.

you would be surprised what the power of your brain can do, but you obviously dont attempt you really use yours.
Dec 14 2011 12:30PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
my three step plan to recovery...

smoke a doob,
destroy a bag of doritos,
repeat.
Dec 14 2011 12:35PM
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Casual.
Posts: 1125 - Karma: 28
50th anniversary. They are probably like 75
Dec 14 2011 12:37PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
watch out saskier or whatever the fuck his name is might come down here and tell you that you are stupid for thinking this might work!!! OMG INTERNET BULLLY!!
Dec 14 2011 12:38PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
There's no need to insult my intelligence here. I certainly wasn't meaning to insult yours. I have friends who have gone through this and will likely be working with people going through it at some point (finishing up a social work degree) and it is a subject that I feel strongly about.
Dec 14 2011 12:40PM
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YoursAndMind
Posts: 335 - Karma: 31
I love how many people see something in the beginning of a thread than just skip right to having to comment on it, if you read the thread you'd see that this been said about 4 times and yes i see that now.
Dec 14 2011 12:41PM
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Dhane
Posts: 3866 - Karma: 1,722
104 pounds man, thats rough. im glad you finally decided to take control before it gets to late, and it sounds like you still have a lot of hope. im here for you man, eating disorders are no joke, and i know it sounds terrible but im glad you finally hit rock bottom because if you never had it may have been to late. just keep an open mind and a positive oulook on life! dont start "smoking weed and crushing doritos", im sure you already know that, but just keep doing what your doing and get the help you need.
Dec 14 2011 12:42PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
this post does not count as a comeback for your last post. you have basically admitted that you were wrong for trying to make me sound unintelligent which is exactly what you did. I will take this as an internet victory for the day.
Dec 14 2011 12:43PM
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Jane6
Posts: 5359 - Karma: 4,506
oh Lord
Dec 14 2011 12:47PM
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saskskier
Posts: 4774 - Karma: 10,005
I could care less about internet victories. I was wrong to call you out about the athletic thing. I missed the part about getting his weight back up. Sorry.

With regards to making you sound unintelligent, I apologize. You mentioned you didn't know much about it and went on to say go eat your favorite food. It doesn't work that way. Perhaps I should have worded it differently, but I was just filling you in on something you l said you didn't know much about.
Dec 14 2011 12:53PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
ohh OK word got ya.
Dec 14 2011 12:58PM
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XtRemE11
Posts: 5680 - Karma: 246
wow 5 10 and 105 lbs? i can see how you need to be hospitalized, damn. im 5 10 and weigh 150 and people say im skinny..

how did it start? just seems like an insanely strange disease to have.. I can see how its hard to recover, but i just dont see how it starts in the first place other than with girls who think they are fat.

Its hard for me to have sympathy for the chicks who are "anorexic" because they dont wanna be fat. i swear like 50% of the girls i went to highschool with could be considered anorexic. and its all because of social pressure.
I swear modern society creates diseases like this. people who have real issues and real problems to deal with dont starve themselves to look skinny, dont kill themselves over a text message or bullying, and dont go into a deep depression over a breakup. i wonder if you put people like this into a real survival situation, coming close to death, if it would help them recover and realize how silly they are for considering suicide over something on facebook or whatever.. i would bet the person 5 minutes from commiting suicide, would fight like mad to save their life if somebody held a knife to their throat.. just interesting to think about.

ive gone through short periods of depression and had strange shitty feelings about myself, i can definitely see how people fall into diseases like this, but i just forced myself to get out and do shit and id completely recover from my shitty mental state. part of that might have just been being a teenager.

anyway OP, i know you cant really get out right now. but i think finding something to be passionate about, finding hobbies etc. is the best possible way to prevent something like this. humans arent meant to spend all their time sitting around doing nothing, sitting in an office or whatever. we need that excitement, we need to come close to death every now and then to realize how badly we want to live, we need to be using all of our physical and mental ability at 110% every now and then. i think when you spend so much time without any of this, the mind can get pretty fucky.
Dec 14 2011 1:15PM
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EastCoast315
Posts: 3136 - Karma: 137
Thank you so much for posting this, +k. I actually teared up a bit, the message of some of the stuff on there was really empowering.

To OP, +vibes. I can't imagine what you're going through right now, but whatever it is is going to help you become the strongest, most beautiful man you could ever be. I hope your family and friends are proud of you for seeking the help you need. Props for catching this before things got past the point of no return.
Dec 14 2011 1:26PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
Ok someone needs to clear this up for me before I say something that will piss people off,

Is the OP's anorexia self induced? If so than just fucking eat more, ski or go outside or something. Seems like a bunch of nonsense.
Dec 14 2011 1:38PM
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