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1. Your use of language is uncomfortable and contrived, as if you found big words, just recently picked up their meaning, and are now trying to use them to be impressive.
2. Half of these are not sentences. Stream of consciousness writing can still be grammatically correct.
3. Writing about a process does not constitute good writing, especially when said process is described with tired cliches such as "drifting away into oblivion" and "porcelain throne"and "deeper and deeper" "wither into nothingness", etc. Where have I heard this use of language before? Oh let's see like in EVERY DESCRIPTION OF FALLING ASLEEP (and vomiting, as it were) EVER.
Comclusion: Not everyone's easily impressed by a bunch of half understood words poorly used and some shitty new age imagery about being like grains of sand.
baha
right
The thing is, Neutral Milk Hotel is great, while OP's writing is neither artistic nor good.
So your last ditch resort is to allude to the relatively short amount of time I've been on a fucking website?
Which is not only irrelevant when it comes to your retarded writing, but also innaccurate given that I was on NS 6 years ago and took a long looooooong sabbatical that I'm just now coming back from.
Pshhh
Delusions of grandeur. You should get your fucking head checked you might be psychotic.
I suggest either immersing yourself so far into the fantasy world where you are actually a decent wordsmith or getting accustomed to the life of mediocrity that no doubt lies ahead of you.
Okay pull the "I'm going to take a sudden turn into sarcasm so that I can escape my essentially failing line of conversation and claim that the other guy is taking it way to seriously" card?
Cool.....