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What do I do?

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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
Ok, this is a really long story but I'm all confused and I don't know what to do. Basically I went out with this girl (my high school sweetheart) for almost 5 years. It was a really intense relationship, before things started to go south we both fully believed that we would ultimately get married. After high school I ended up making huge sacrifices to stay near her, which meant that I was away from all my friends and that aside from being near her I was pretty much miserable. Unbeknownst to me in my ignorant little world we gradually started to drift apart and then all of a sudden out of nowhere she left me for a total asshole cokehead. She completely ripped my heart out and I've been a mess over it for a long time. To make matters worse after she left me I moved out to Victoria to finally be where most of my friends are and low and behold she decides to move out here to, into my very building no less. As a result of that my last year has been a living hell, she's led me on like crazy, hooked up with me a lot of times only to go back to cokey again and again. Everywhere I go I've had to deal with seeing them together and it's killed me (both literally and figuratively, the guys a total psycho and he's sucker punched me and had his friends start shit with me more than a few times) but I've never been able to fully give up on her because a part of me will always love her like crazy and also because in the times that we're together it's like nothing has changed at all. So basically I've had to deal with her being with a total douchebag for over a year now while she messed with my head, wondering when it would all end. Don't get me wrong, I've had my share of fun too (I'm only human) but I've never really been close to being fully over her. Anywho, I knew her and cokey would end eventually but I never in my wildest dreams imagined that she would be the one to get hurt at the end. He's an asshole and really ugly and she is REDICULOUSLY hot (anyone who went to High North with me in 2003 can attest to that). All of a sudden tonight I find out she's dumping him cause he cheated on her (for which he's a fucking idiot cause she's BY FAR the hottest girl he'll ever get so cheating on her was incredibly stupid) and she's a total mess about it. Now I don't know how I should feel because I'm obviously stoked that she finally dumped him but I'm also upset because she's so hurt and despite her really hurting me I never wanted her to get hurt. Lastly I guess I don't know what I should do now, do I take her back even though she totally broke my heart, or do I try and forget about her? Anyone who made it this far I'd appreciate any input, other than that those of you who want to give me shit for mentioning how much I love her etc. fuck you in advance.

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
Sep 6 2004 3:31AM
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_alli_
Posts: 1792 - Karma: 34
Well, after a year of toying with you I wouldn't be too eager to go back to her. It bothers me so much when girls do that, I used to have a friend who did that all the time, and when she started doing it to one of my best friends I just stopped seeing her alltogether. The worst thing is I have to watch him get completely fucked over again and again and keep going back to her, so if I were you I'd just stay away completely, however hard it is to do.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
Sep 6 2004 3:39AM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
thanks a lot, I really appreciate the advice and as hard as it is I think you're right. I treated her like royalty the whole time we were together and I never deserved what she's done to me at all, it's just really hard because I love her so much and any attempts I've made to move on have been severely complicated by her living so close to me and me seeing her on such a regular basis whether I want to or not.

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
Sep 6 2004 3:42AM
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_alli_
Posts: 1792 - Karma: 34
ya, the close proximity makes it a lot harder, especially if she makes a point on seeking you out. maybe have your friends help you to stay away from her, and try to keep as busy as possible, that might help the situation a bit. Of course once ski season comes up it'll be easier to get away.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk
Sep 6 2004 3:57AM
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InfernoHits
Posts: 4755 - Karma: 192
if you claim to really love her, then the obvious thing is to get back with her. In the long run this can make your future relationship better in some backwards ass way.. Good luck with it
Sep 6 2004 6:24AM
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Stowe24
Posts: 404 - Karma: 78
not reading that
Sep 6 2004 7:56AM
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danbrown
Posts: 11939 - Karma: 21,828
if you aren't going to read it, don't be a dick and write that you lazy bastard. And for Line69, as hard as it might be, i'd say you have to try and get over her. You say that you went out with her for 5 years, then she leaves you for some idiot? i think the love is one sided in your relationship.

-Dan



RED SOX
Sep 6 2004 8:13AM
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EC-Tom
Posts: 2572 - Karma: 12
well sorry to hear about it, but I mean if she is that hot, and you are contemplating going back to her, then why the hell not? Go back to her man, If she does it again, then leave, because by that time you'll see how bad she is to you, and will be able to easily forget about her. But if she dosen't do anything wrong again, maybe things will work out how you origionally planned.

P.S.-post a pic, I wanna see what you call hot


-Tom
Eastern Chaos
Sep 6 2004 9:00AM
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shrEddie
Posts: 5117 - Karma: 65
yeah thats too long, you need to consolidate

///////////////////
this way is a waterslide away for me to chase her fuller every day

Sep 6 2004 12:08PM
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Public_Enemy0255
Posts: 2994 - Karma: 17
that sux really bad. but if i was you i would try hard to forget about her because think about it she just left you for soem bastard. and then leads you on and makes you feel like shit. i say just forget about her even if she is really hot that was a really assinine(sp) thing to do.
-------------------------

Sex......do it for the kids...please
Sep 6 2004 2:15PM
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bleu-rodeo
Posts: 384 - Karma: 10
we are only human. we all make mistakes. and in her case a huge stupid mistake. but everything happens for a reason and maybe she was suppose to get hurt to see how much of an asshole she was being and to realize that you were crazy for her since the begining. if she doesn's see how much you love her she is way beyond moronic. but trust me they always come crawling back it will happen just see what exactly the circumstances are and make sure she wont ever do it again etc..power to you for sharing that, twas intense


Ladies, always remeber the 4 F's....
Find them,Feel them,Fuck them,Forget them
-Hopass/sabrinaP.

-I beat my dick like it owes me money, son
-AndrewDal.-classic
Sep 6 2004 2:27PM
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thewavebb
Posts: 1082 - Karma: 20
In my instance, Once I loose trust in somebody, it is really hard to gain it back. I would go nuts if i didn't 100% that person. Did she cheat on you with this dude before dumping you, or was she just needing something else and then found this guy. If she was cheating, i would stay away. Once a cheater, always a cheater. There are so many awsome women out there, why limit yourself to a cheating one.

Above all, i would just recommend becoming best friends with the person. I am only 22, but i got married about a year ago to my wife who was and is my best friend. If you two become that, then you have nothing to worry.

-ben-
http://studentwebs.winona.edu/bpberndt6388/enter/
Sep 6 2004 2:39PM
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1080bio
Posts: 2042 - Karma: 5
go out with her again but do be her little bitch at all make her make sacrifises for u and see if she really loves u, and if she dosnt just find someone else but def give it another shot



what happined to drugs, sex, & rock and roll...now adays we have aids crack and techno.......
Guns N' Roses
Sep 6 2004 2:44PM
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Ghost
Posts: 7116 - Karma: 339
I've just went through almost the exact same situation. As hard as it is, and as much as you still have feelings for her, you need to let it go and get over her.

Be her friend, give her sometime, and maybe she'll come back around later. But, if you let her lead you on again right now.. then there's no telling that you won't get hurt again. Trust me on that one.

Eat. Sleep. Breathe. Ski.
Sep 6 2004 2:56PM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
if you were with her all through highschool, did you ever really get the chance to play the feild and see what everyone else has to offer? My cousion just got married to his highschool sweetheart and they had a period of time where they decided that it would be best to date other people for a while. Its a good idea, cause if you do really love her and she really loves you, then those other relationships will not work and you will eventually get back to gether. but give it time. lots and lots of time.

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
--->CCR*

theres an ilovemen.com? damn. see you guys later -skierdudeguy

violence, in canada? go spew your bullshit on somebody eles\' chest, we dont want that around here.-Mommy
Sep 6 2004 3:56PM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
thanks a lot for all the advice guys, I really appreciate it. I'm still not entirely sure what to do because I'm really torn about all this and you all make really good points, some for getting back with her, some against. All good thoughts though, thanks again.

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
Sep 6 2004 4:57PM
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kyle_w
Posts: 6805 - Karma: 23
ok well first work out some of your issues, and then go out with her ass if shes soo damn hott, also can we see a pic

Sep 6 2004 5:02PM
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bigdoubler125805y
Posts: 1236 - Karma: -8
that was deep. if you love her i think you should just lay it all out. be like i love you and you keep hurting me, do you realize what you're doing to me? then she'll get all sympathetic and you'll be back together
Sep 6 2004 5:15PM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
^haha I thought that might come up sooner or later. I don't have a digital camera so I don't have any pics I can put up from when we were going out but I'll see if she has any she can send me from this past year

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
Sep 6 2004 5:16PM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
^that was directed at snapjibber, although I guess that's rather obvious

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
Sep 6 2004 5:17PM
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*ELLA*
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 11
Okay i didnt read what Everyone ELSE wrote but my advice to you would be to slowly start a relationship again and see how it works out. My theory being that you dated, loved it, shit happenned, you both had your chance to seek out other people and for some reason you both end up in the same town in the same building non the less and you should be the one there for her through her tough times. Even if things don't work out its worth a shot. But you still should be the one helping her through the shit because you still are her friend and sometimes those make the best relationships, but i would tlak to her about what ended your relationship etc.
~Ella

Messed knees for life

*skiing isn't a sport, it's a lifestyle*

Ella and Lauren: changing teenaged boys lives since 2001.
Sep 6 2004 5:56PM
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SeanB
Posts: 3022 - Karma: 71
that makes sense ella, I'll do what I can. I know one way or another I'll help her however I can because I can't stand to see her hurting even though she completely brought it on herself by leaving me for someone everyone else knew was a total prick. Whow knows where it will go from there?

'Rufus, Brent, and Micus were like brothers to me, and when I say brothers I don't mean like an actual brother, but I mean it like black people mean it, which is more meaningful I think'
Sep 7 2004 4:43AM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
what session of high north were you in 2003
--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
Sep 7 2004 7:21AM
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ScratchCobra66
Posts: 3688 - Karma: 11
^dude i say screw her, girls are nothing but troble and if they screw you over, you never ever look back to them agian, its not worth it. Find a girl thats good for you, one thats open to new ideas and one that will always be there and that you can trust. If you really like her, then go back to her...but be very very cautious.



I want it to snow.
Sep 7 2004 7:29AM
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Shaggy
Posts: 4349 - Karma: 17
if you were together for 5 years of your life, then all of a sudden she decides to leave for some douche, chances are that it could happen again and again and again if you were to get back with her, hurting you more each time.

do your best to either avoid her, or keep all conversation just small talk. let yourselves start to go your seperate directions, just to see where you both end up in a while, and then see how you both feel after that.

best of luck to ya
Sep 7 2004 11:24AM
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DAMICO
Posts: 2645 - Karma: 12
dude don't go back with her, she'll do the same thing again.. instead try to get over her by finding someone else... pray

**********************************************************************
Funny Bundy Quotes:

'Peg, is there any reason this cactus is where my alarm clock should be?'

'Remember our motto: We ain't got it.'

'We all have to live with our disappointments... I have to sleep with mine.'

'People who work putting shoes on fat women who wear dresses should not have 20/20 vision.'
Sep 7 2004 1:22PM
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eastAR5
Posts: 15084 - Karma: 732
yea man dont go back to her, even though it's gona be hard. I'm probably like 1/2 your age, andI never had a serious relationship like that but this girl I went out with for 5 months (a long time for me) one day decided she was bored of me or something so she dumps me for this random kid, gives him head a couple of times, he cheats on her and then she wants me back. fuck that, you cant let them keep hurting you.





Park Life
Sep 7 2004 1:34PM
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ScratchCobra66
Posts: 3688 - Karma: 11
^ same situation...but we went out for 2 years. I told her to fuck off, if she thinks im that stupid, she should probably go back to elementary school.



I want it to snow.
Sep 7 2004 1:59PM
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