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je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

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My roommates a dick!!!!!

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pennstater
Posts: 1485 - Karma: 1,009
So I really have never had any problems with the kid, I have always been pretty nice to him and what not. We have tons of kids in our room so it gets hectic and shit goes missing a lot. Just like snacks and shit. Its part of the boarding school life. When a water goes missing off my roommate's side he won't talk to me for days. He is a dick. I mean the other day someone put pubes on my toothbrush and I laughed my ass of and threw it away. Not only that but he is mean about other shit to. We are both sports fans. When his teams win I congratulate him and shit. When my teams win or loose he shits on me and is a dick. The kid is also extremely anti-semetic. He calls me K*ke and jewbag all day long. Finally the worst part is his parents. He gets shitty grades on tests because he watches the Rangers and Jets games instead of studying. Then his parents, especially his dad who I have never met shit on me calling me an asshole and a distraction. The kid even tells me that my parents hate me and shipped me off because they don't want me. WTF.
/Rant

Sparknotes: Selfish, anti-semetic roommate with asshole judge-mental parents, he threatens me and struck me today!
Dec 2 2011 8:14PM
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ForeverYung
Posts: 8385 - Karma: 2,060
Cool
Dec 2 2011 8:17PM
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JIBpsy^^
Posts: 2851 - Karma: 36
Skin him in his sleep. Also i read the title as My Roomate's Dick!!!!!!!!!! at first and thoought it was gonna be like you took a picture and it was small or something haha.
Dec 2 2011 8:18PM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
put a mattress in his pool
Dec 2 2011 8:18PM
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k-fred
Posts: 5363 - Karma: 1,598
stache bro
Dec 2 2011 8:19PM
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commander2984
Posts: 859 - Karma: 40
hold up: to clarify, did you just say that he “struck you”?????



man the fuck up, quit complain about it on the internet and do something about it. i advise you “strike” him

Dec 2 2011 8:20PM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14
seriously buddy sack the fuck up and beat the shit out of the kid. Let him puch you in the face then break his knees with a bat or some shit its self-defense. Then if his dad is being a dick chop his family up into chili and feed them to him.
Dec 2 2011 8:21PM
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PJS.
Posts: 11943 - Karma: 895
someone put pubes on your too-jesus christ, you have a high tolerance level. Id beat that guy with a rake
Dec 2 2011 8:21PM
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BlakeG
Posts: 1450 - Karma: 1,030
haha GO JETS!
Dec 2 2011 8:21PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
You sound like a pussy.
Dec 2 2011 8:22PM
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ski_ENDUB
Posts: 2535 - Karma: 86
yea, if he pisses you off that much just beat the shit out of him, at the very least you'll get a new roommate.
Dec 2 2011 8:27PM
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JzD.
Posts: 1615 - Karma: 153
Maybe he'll get pink eye
Dec 2 2011 8:29PM
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pennstater
Posts: 1485 - Karma: 1,009
not those Jets the football team.

But yeah hes fat and im small, 5'7 130 hes 5'6 180 i cant fight him. i was thnking about slipping him 5 g's of boomers, and watching him bugggg
Dec 2 2011 8:30PM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14
.
Dec 2 2011 8:31PM
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LittleFoot
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 57
-Snacks going missing would piss me the fuck off

-the pubes thing would ruin my life. I would hunt down whoever did it and either kill them or torture them slowly

-sports thing wouldnt piss me off at all. I'd actually look forward to when my team would be playing the rangers or jets so we could watch it together and whoever loses would get ripped on. could be fun

-racist comments wouldnt even phase me. Probably because I spend 24 hours a day on the internet but I can understand how someone could get upset about it

-I wouldn't give a shit about his grades. You're not his mom

-I wouldn't give a shit about what his parents think about me. You're not his girlfriend
Dec 2 2011 8:31PM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14
Ya sounds like hes his bitch though
Dec 2 2011 8:32PM
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pennstater
Posts: 1485 - Karma: 1,009
the pubes happened to me but whatever. a water bottle of his 80 goes issing and hes on a hunt. even when my friends tell him they did it he is still mad at me. also i dont care about his grades i care that his gay parents (his dad works for WWE) think when he does bad its my fault. ITS LIFE I HAD 80 DOLLARS OF SHIT TRASHED IN MY ROOM WHEN I WENT HOME. ALL MY FOOD GONE, I WAS UPSET BUT I GOT OVER IT!!!!!!
Dec 2 2011 8:35PM
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pennstater
Posts: 1485 - Karma: 1,009
im not his bitch he is a spazzy fuck hahaha. he spews blood out of his vag. i choked me b/c i threw away his day old half eaten pizza slice.
Dec 2 2011 8:38PM
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bdarb207
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 443
i know a kid who busted a nut in his roomates shampoo and the kid doesn't know to this day. Jussayin it could make you feel a little better and the next time he calls you jewbag just ask if he washed his hair.
Dec 2 2011 8:42PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
How do you plan on "slipping him"5 grams of mushrooms that is so much way to much that youcan just slip them to him haha you are really just a winner.
Dec 2 2011 8:44PM
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SKETCHY_D
Posts: 979 - Karma: 27

prison rules apply at boarding school. make him your bitch! rape him at all means necessary!

Dec 2 2011 8:45PM
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.Apex.
Posts: 2097 - Karma: 1,556
Start distracting him, then hell legit fail and get kicked out
Dec 2 2011 8:45PM
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californiagrown
Posts: 9794 - Karma: 2,014
there is an easy solution to all of this.


physically intimidate him. first tell some of your friends, and even a kinda rando kid that he has been racist, hurtful, and physically threatening around you. next time he pulls some of this crap(racist shit, going out of his way to be a dick etc) tell him " do that one more fucking time and im going to put you nose bone through the back of your fucking head, you little fucking cunt. i am dead fucking serious. try me". you must say this in a fairly calm, but dead serious manner, and be slowly moving towards him, while keeping dead eye contact and muscles all contracted and ready to throw.

If he calls you on it, sucker punch the shit out of him, pour water on his computer and then smack your chest open handed so you leave a welt. proceed to claim self defense, and get his ass kicked out of school.


Its amazing how easily kids get intimidated if you look like you are looking for a reason to beat their face in.


OOOOOOOOOR, you could go the pussy, safe route and talk to administration about switching roommates.
Dec 2 2011 8:46PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,273
where do you go to boarding school?
Dec 2 2011 9:14PM
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SkiThe603
Posts: 5376 - Karma: 498
do be a bitch or be smart and move out
Dec 2 2011 9:24PM
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PigBenis
Posts: 182 - Karma: 99
dump a couple drops of visine into one of his drinks then post the results
Dec 2 2011 10:45PM
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ktd619
Posts: 927 - Karma: 96
Have you seen that video of McConkey hacking people to bits in the lift line with a ski? well you should do that....
Dec 2 2011 10:48PM
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Andi_G
Posts: 3088 - Karma: 15,125
wut
Dec 2 2011 10:57PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37817 - Karma: 125,775
Place your gooch hairs on his pillow along with pubes.
Dec 2 2011 11:33PM
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[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
This is how you deal with him.

Click for larger image
Dec 2 2011 11:40PM
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cbeebzthasteeze
Posts: 1862 - Karma: 85
Click for larger image
Dec 2 2011 11:54PM
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zachV2
Posts: 697 - Karma: 60

okay so heres what you need to do

take steriods
watch every move they make
wait a couple months and get to a peak
take a 5 hour energy before bed
wait till they fall asleep
pick up their bed and throw it out the window
done

Dec 2 2011 11:56PM
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kaassouffle
Posts: 164 - Karma: 13
poop on his pillow
Dec 3 2011 12:04AM
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LivingColour
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 21
bro come on what kinda of stupid thing to do is that I mean seriously is that the best you got.....






























you gotta poop inside of it
Dec 3 2011 12:05AM
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kaassouffle
Posts: 164 - Karma: 13
good call that way it smooshes into his face through the pillow case and then gooes out the side.



that oughtta show him.
Dec 3 2011 12:06AM
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ski_ENDUB
Posts: 2535 - Karma: 86
this is actually a good idea, just make sure you don't share a bathroom. or get a grip of bars of soap, put them in a pillowcase and beat the shit out of him, when you get into trouble just go talk to your school counselor to talk about your "anger issues"
Dec 3 2011 12:12AM
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Kapital
Posts: 504 - Karma: 38
The best comment in the thread and no one quoted it... I'm drunk and I'm positive if I was sober that would still be fucking hilarious.
Dec 3 2011 5:02AM
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TijmenDal
Posts: 4849 - Karma: 1,296
Kick his fucking ass.
Dec 3 2011 5:13AM
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Kapital
Posts: 504 - Karma: 38
Your drunk.
Dec 3 2011 5:13AM
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MatteoSmatteo
Posts: 776 - Karma: 22
this or pee in it. my buddy peed in his brothers body wash cuz he was being a dick and his brother never found out. then we proceeded to fuck shit up in his room haha
Dec 3 2011 5:24AM
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Orrin
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114
I dunno, pee in his butt?
Dec 3 2011 7:20AM
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akarlsen
Posts: 523 - Karma: 144
Click for larger image

film everything you do to him tho, then when you move out, show him.
Dec 3 2011 7:27AM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
How about you sack the fuck up and tell him off. Life is not fair, and you have to deal with the assholes that life gives you. I hated every one of my roommates while going through tech school. Just deal with it, tell him to stop being such a pussy. But if you really want to fuck is life over threaten to go to the head of the school and tell him about the racial remarks he is making. That is not being a rat. If you hate the fact that he is saying that to you, you should not have to live with it. That part there is not being a bitch about anything. Guarantee for a fact if you tell him that he will cut that shit out REAL QUICK.
Dec 3 2011 7:36AM
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cravatz.
Posts: 113 - Karma: 1
Take off his bed sheets, jizz all over his mattress, put back sheets. It wont seep through and he will be sleeping in none other than a pile of his roomates jizz.
Dec 3 2011 8:32AM
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montageskier
Posts: 4725 - Karma: 126
And you don't think this is true?
Dec 3 2011 12:56PM
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ORDEAL
Posts: 6386 - Karma: 75
find somehting to ridicule him about and do it. or just confront him

or go to administration and get a new room mate
Dec 3 2011 1:02PM
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I-Ski-AK
Posts: 1378 - Karma: 22
Is this half for real? I understand the dipshit of a room mate but I am skeptical on the extensive douchery this kid is portraying. I have one bit off advise, pork slab his woman and get over it.
Dec 3 2011 1:22PM
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