Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

How to fake sick?

profile picture
vordulmega
Posts: 513 - Karma: 47
How can I really convince my mom that I'm sick? I wanna stay home tomorrow cos she'll be out and I can chill. I am actually a bit sick but not sick enough to stay home.
Nov 30 2011 6:38PM
0 0
profile picture
chicken
Posts: 6843 - Karma: 2,121
you wont be able to. moms can just tell.
Nov 30 2011 6:40PM
0 0
profile picture
FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
dumbfuck
Nov 30 2011 6:40PM
0 0
profile picture
gus555
Posts: 4170 - Karma: 34
Throwup on her face while she's sleeping.
Nov 30 2011 6:41PM
0 0
profile picture
vordulmega
Posts: 513 - Karma: 47
Nah she won't be able to, my mom's easily tricked
Nov 30 2011 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
ABdrummer
Posts: 533 - Karma: 673
Get up early, sit on the toilet and stay there until she wakes up. Claim you have diarrhea. If your mom really wants to check the toilet then that's just weird.
Nov 30 2011 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,531
Suck his dick, see what happens
Nov 30 2011 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
malonius_funk
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,500
the only reason your 14 year old ass wants to stay home is because you just learned how to jack off and you want to do it all day without the fear that your mom will catch you.
Nov 30 2011 6:42PM
0 0
profile picture
Iget
Posts: 485 - Karma: 46
call her a dumb bitch then kick her in the shins
Nov 30 2011 6:43PM
0 0
profile picture
act.resist
Posts: 8875 - Karma: 513
fake a migrain
Nov 30 2011 6:43PM
0 0
profile picture
vordulmega
Posts: 513 - Karma: 47
how did you know...
Nov 30 2011 6:44PM
0 0
profile picture
.catierob
Posts: 670 - Karma: 15
sounds like youre menstruating...just go to school
Nov 30 2011 6:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,658
it aint that hard...
Nov 30 2011 6:45PM
0 0
profile picture
Olde_English
Posts: 445 - Karma: 117
then trick her dumbass
Nov 30 2011 6:46PM
0 0
profile picture
erica
Posts: 3450 - Karma: 24,088
this is what I used to do, I get them bad so I just claimed to have one the night before, went to bed early, woke up and magically still had it in the morning.
Nov 30 2011 6:50PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,531
I just told my mom, FUCK YOU I AINT GOIN BACK YA BITCH! GTFO OF MY ROOM!



That generally works the best
Nov 30 2011 6:51PM
0 0
profile picture
Clebo1
Posts: 674 - Karma: 3
Watch Ferris Bueller
Nov 30 2011 6:52PM
0 0
profile picture
Montville57
Posts: 1364 - Karma: 18
Blow up your bed and put a rotting pig carcus under her sheets
Nov 30 2011 6:54PM
0 0
profile picture
Rossberger
Posts: 768 - Karma: 168
your name and this comment...lol'd hard
Nov 30 2011 6:56PM
0 0
profile picture
SenditSerg
Posts: 273 - Karma: 144
I lost so many times reading this thread
Nov 30 2011 6:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Orrin
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114
Man up and go to school. Learning is cool.
Nov 30 2011 7:03PM
0 0
profile picture
Milksteak
Posts: 9948 - Karma: 833
Drink a bunch of bleach. I hear that gets you pretty sick.
Nov 30 2011 7:04PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,531
this
Nov 30 2011 7:04PM
0 0
profile picture
InFlames
Posts: 534 - Karma: -25
As a child who has drank bleach. I will say it most certainly does.
Nov 30 2011 7:08PM
0 0
profile picture
northeast
Posts: 2119 - Karma: 254
works like a charm. the trick is, if she doubts you and questions it, you have to believe the lie yourself.
Nov 30 2011 7:09PM
0 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
You forgot to tell him to wash it down with gasoline.
Nov 30 2011 7:09PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,531
What if she smells your dick and finds out you had a condom on?
Nov 30 2011 7:11PM
0 0
profile picture
rednecknation
Posts: 548 - Karma: 63
yo man your a newschooler we dont play sick to yank dick, we skip class to get ass.
Nov 30 2011 7:12PM
0 0
profile picture
FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
:D
Nov 30 2011 7:13PM
0 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
I don't even...
Nov 30 2011 7:13PM
0 0
profile picture
vordulmega
Posts: 513 - Karma: 47
pretty much impossible to skip at my school but thanks for that
Nov 30 2011 7:14PM
0 0
profile picture
HoneyBadger
Posts: 998 - Karma: 234
You say "mom, i'm sick."

But secretly you're not.
Nov 30 2011 7:14PM
0 0
profile picture
WAWARIDER
Posts: 222 - Karma: 10
Three options kill a close family member meaning no need for school
Nov 30 2011 7:15PM
0 0
profile picture
[evan]
Posts: 5628 - Karma: 117
Alright now this is going to get pretty complex and you best practice. Now this is coming from a regional faker and all American School Nurse Deceiver, its all in the tone of voice.

First step is to decide what kind of sick you're aiming for, the choice generally is dependent of the type of mom you have. My mom is a bit of a bitch, so i usually go for the "hospitalized" look. If your mom is soft go for a more mellow tone.

When you wake up, you need to tell your mom you dont feel good, but not before walking around for a bit. Then depending on what she says, tell her you're going to see how you feel after a shower. When you're out of the shower, (Take an extra long shower), get on the toilet. Now stuff the toilet full of toilet paper and use some type of brownish-green liquid to discolor the water. The toilet paper will then clog, an you tell your mom you really don't feel good and have an upset stomach. You should also say that recently there has been a stomach bug going around. And dont forget to say some of your friends that you sit with at lunch have gotten sick. My mom usually asks if i really think its that bad, and says if i stay home i HAVE to go to school the next day. IF YOUR MOM ASKS THIS DO NOT SAY I WILL. You need to remain hesitant and this will create the illusion of actual sickness.

I would then quitly whisper or ask if you can stay home, and say youll sleep all day. After that IMMEDIATLY go back to bed or pretend to until your mom/dad are competely clear of your property and i even wait 5 min after.
Nov 30 2011 7:15PM
0 0
profile picture
HoneyBadger
Posts: 998 - Karma: 234
lost it.
Nov 30 2011 7:16PM
0 0
profile picture
Finnbear
Posts: 375 - Karma: 4
There was a lady on the show My stange addiction who drank laundry detergent
Nov 30 2011 7:17PM
0 0
profile picture
tds103
Posts: 679 - Karma: 74
I stayed home sick today, so here are some tips to help you.

put tissues in your nose. make you hands and forehead clammy. Watch Ferris Bueller. Try to talk with a raspy voice, coughing a lot works. Stuff like that, think what a sick person would do.

hopes that helps
Nov 30 2011 7:20PM
0 0
profile picture
Anathema
Posts: 21048 - Karma: 5,061
or you can just go to school you fucking dumbass idiot asshole puke-face skeezy cum filled maggot burger. WITH FLIES ON THE SIDE!!


BANGERANG RUFIO

Nov 30 2011 7:20PM
0 0
profile picture
SPskier543
Posts: 2413 - Karma: 324

i used to just poke the punching bag thing in my mouth and puke all over my hallway after eating some tacos or something similar, looked absolutley disgusting, smelled worse, and made me actually keep throwing up due to the sight of it. to top it of, my mom always had to clean it up

Nov 30 2011 7:27PM
0 0
profile picture
tds103
Posts: 679 - Karma: 74
that could make you stay home for the whole week!
Nov 30 2011 7:29PM
0 0
profile picture
Mister.F
Posts: 1206 - Karma: 169
x lax or epicac, except then you'll actually feel like shit after
Nov 30 2011 7:29PM
0 0
profile picture
jfxphoto
Posts: 2038 - Karma: 2,346
Yes yes yes yes!!!!
Nov 30 2011 7:30PM
0 0
profile picture
.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
For real though...your mom is going to know you're faking it. The only question is if she'll go along with it and let you skip school. Why do you want to stay home anyway? Just so you can sit around and play video games and be bored all day?
Nov 30 2011 7:31PM
0 0
profile picture
dole_juice_rules
Posts: 543 - Karma: 22
hell yeah when no ones home you can bump the volume!!!
Nov 30 2011 7:34PM
0 0
profile picture
feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
omg, my mom didnt care at all. she knew that i was responsible enough to go often enough to not get any problems. but i have to say that i didnt hear the alarm at least once a week and missed 1-2 classes or the whole day depending how serious it was.

go if you have to and stay at home when youre super cool and have to.

seriously, its fucking school. there wont be an easier life (unless youre one of "those" kids, which you probably are judging by this thread) around the corner, trust me.
Nov 30 2011 7:37PM
0 0
profile picture
midwestpowhunter
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 189
Just wake up in the middle of the night like twice and make a bunch of noise in the bathroom so she wakes up then get up before u normally do and stay in the bathroom for extra long come out and say I didn't sleep all night I was shittig all night and the cramps were so bad and I feel like I'm gunna keep shitting. Ask her what should u do. Act lythargic and run down when u talk to her. If she says go to school go to school and call her in an hr shell have to leave work to come get u and she won't tell u to go the next time u use the same shinanigans
Nov 30 2011 7:38PM
0 0
profile picture
Dr.Newschoolers
Posts: 1357 - Karma: 508
you my friend are a genius
Nov 30 2011 7:40PM
0 0
profile picture
vordulmega
Posts: 513 - Karma: 47
What the hell is that supposed to mean? One of "those" kids?
Nov 30 2011 7:40PM
0 0
profile picture
theabortionator
Posts: 51744 - Karma: 163,531
Post naked pictures of your mom in this thread



Profit
Nov 30 2011 7:46PM
0 0
profile picture
HoneyBadger
Posts: 998 - Karma: 234
^
Nov 30 2011 7:47PM
0 0
profile picture
feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
the "fuck school" kids.
the "i WILL NEVER NEED ANYTHING OF THIS BULLSHIT IN MY WHOLE LIFE" kids.
the "MY TEACHERS ARE DUMBASSES, I AM COOLER AND SMARTER THAN THEM" kids.



Nov 30 2011 7:51PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)