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Critique My Rough Cut Car Commercial

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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
So this isn't a real commercial, but I'm going to school for advertising and am using this for a project. I'm not done by any means, because I plan on adding shots of shifting, the tachometer, turns, and a few other things. I also realize the audio gets a bit messed up at the end, so this is really a rough cut. I'd just like to know what your opinions are and what you think I should work on/change before I hand it in on Friday. Thanks guys! (Watch in 720p as it seems to look the best.)

Nov 28 2011 10:01PM
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west-coast
Posts: 985 - Karma: 204
really really liked the intro and slider shots but i thought the shot at :24 was a little dark and the shots of the car going by could have been more interesting, perhaps a side by side shot instead of just it going by..great work though super sick!
Nov 28 2011 11:06PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
I completely agree with both of those things. I decided that right before it takes off I'm going to have a clip of shifting into first, and then when it goes by I'm gonna lower the angle and put the camera closer to the road so that it's closer when it goes by which I think will help make it look a litter better. I had to set it up on the side of the road and go back and forth by myself over and over again so it was pretty tedious haha.
Nov 28 2011 11:25PM
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blakroc
Posts: 2323 - Karma: 28
Pretty good. What effect did you use to get the kinda zoom camera shake thing you had going on?
Nov 28 2011 11:46PM
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gordie.
Posts: 2014 - Karma: 84
I think this piece speaks more to your filmmaking talent than your advertising know-how. If I was admitting students into an advertising/ marketing program based off of video submission, I'd like to see how they could replicate what has been proven to work, as well as offer their own input. I.E., we've all seen commercials with voiceover on top of car shots, so maybe that's an idea to consider. Don't break the boundaries just yet; rather show them you know what works and know how to put it together well.

Another suggestion, maybe get a friend to drive the car and see if you can take some mobile shots from another car. Exterior motion shots lend themselves well to car commercials, another proven fact. So far I think you're on a good track, just maybe shift focus a bit more to "selling" the car. Otherwise, good work!
Nov 29 2011 12:05AM
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juicedrummer11
Posts: 1960 - Karma: 1,331
pretty good so far. there were parts that reminded of a forza add, and then some parts that could use a little tuning but i know you said you'll add more and i know its just a rough cut. but you should definitely have the headlights come on when you start the car and then play around with those so that the scene really pops. and then like the comment above said, add some follow shots from another car of weaving through the lanes without traffic mixed in with some shifting and its gonna be legit for sure
Nov 29 2011 4:43AM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
I wanted to have the headlights come on so badly but mine are really cloudy and when you turn em on it looks really bad
Nov 29 2011 9:22AM
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thatsG
Posts: 2568 - Karma: 1,772
From :15 to :23 I feel there is to much blank screen and dullness. Overall it looks very nice though
Nov 29 2011 10:37AM
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juicedrummer11
Posts: 1960 - Karma: 1,331
dang, maybe you could try a couple shots of them turning on in different settings to see if that works better then fix em up in post maybe
Nov 29 2011 1:05PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
Alright so I took some of your suggestions and a couple of my own and fixed it up a little, what do you think now?
Dec 1 2011 7:29PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
Here's the Vimeo link.. anyone?
Dec 1 2011 9:20PM
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quaive
Posts: 1055 - Karma: 99
I felt like the exhaust audio at the end was a bit weird. Other than that it was sick!
Dec 2 2011 1:20AM
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juicedrummer11
Posts: 1960 - Karma: 1,331
awesome! i really enjoyed it. i liked the shifting shots you threw in as well, made it more intense
Dec 2 2011 1:38AM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
I agree, it was really hard to do without a good directional mic. What did you feel was weird about it, the sound combined with the proximity of the car, or the windiness of it?
Dec 2 2011 7:51AM
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,343
last shot, the cars speed doesnt match the sound of the exhaust. need more speeeeeed
Dec 2 2011 11:00AM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
Idk of I'd say that but it wasn't perfect, and I was already going like 75 in a 35
Dec 2 2011 11:35AM
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Randy_Quench
Posts: 5447 - Karma: 4,343
all im saying is 95 would have looked better :)
Dec 2 2011 1:58PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
was the mic on the car? i feel like it didn't get any quieter as the car went away, felt a little unnatural. sick though, i just played around with one at a dealership (it was unlocked) and i like the car.
Dec 2 2011 4:00PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
Yeah I had it under the bumper by the exhaust which is why it doesn't get quieter unfortunately
Dec 2 2011 4:03PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
you could just edit that to die off cant you?
Dec 2 2011 4:35PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
I tried but it
Dec 2 2011 4:37PM
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JStrathern
Posts: 8747 - Karma: 1,536
Dumb iPhone, I tried thy but it didn't sound that much better/realistic. Oh well though I don't mind that much.
Dec 2 2011 4:38PM
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TheGreen
Posts: 504 - Karma: 41
to make it seem like its getting farther try adding a EQ with an automation and throw a Hi cut filter on there, as well as lowering the volume. Start off with no high cut, and then as the car gets further cut more and more of the higher frequencies.
Dec 2 2011 6:00PM
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