I;'m drunk,

Peeps this game, love me or hate me,
i don't care, enjoy.

craiger out,



Email this to everyone you kno w,,... cheers,

Well hellop,

how ya'll, doing ,

i shouold tell you right now the srooms i ate are great, i'm afraid to get up right now, walking is complicated, and you can for get about talking to peopple,

muy friend mateus is comjing to help me out because, im fucked on e and i ate an eeithe 8the of muchrooms,

it's scary,
i wishe i was with someone right now, i might do something stupid,

i guess it's time i told everyone,

were all living in fear & Lothiing, and it's scarey, i want to run for the president of the united states, and set thing's straight,....

in fact, righ not we eating muffine iss complicated, oh shit the drugs aree at there higethste point, i need sleep i dtdnt sleep last night,

anyways, here's my idea,

i wajnt to make a sequal to the movie pootie thag,

we have to act now- this is the best idea ever...

What if we mmade Pootige tang (Black Jesus)

Oh and another thing if hunter is the angel of divinity , then i;m the acr angel of strenght,s just wathch me put to get my army, it' the gereral , thedurgs, are strong, im busszying really wired way,

I geuss we should say what the the neame of the omovie is Ponntie tang, return of the Jew...

it'd be great,

i just want to mention that i kick ass,

ok, ali -g could be a terrioist, and pubttey would have to stop him,

pootie would battle the rich nazi that control What is/???? America...

the anwser is yes, the whiteman did win the war,

but i not raceist , i want to got\ help out in an NGO somewhrere in aftriacka,

i ty wat i thing, soory,

ali ge is a democrate of corse,

and
we could have a jungle vs hip hop ting going on,

we could get the trail park boys in it, espeically J-rock,., jonnatha taurents, you are my jesus, I' love saying that, it';s cool,

anyways, back to buzzenst

we could get biling bling to do a camio

and get rufus the sstunt bum, i really hop those igues the i love them, there my super hieros, i told tash once that he was my herro, anywys,

i want 2 millionn , make it happen bayby,''

anywasy who, i would make im sor high, i need help,

em...and we coudl get xzibet to frresty le for the camera,

there no stopiong what im about to create,.

tash could be a niga, that s works in a 7-=11, that' d be dope,

im thinking of goning down to vancouver,
'
and oalying golfing with the couger,

i;ll sitcike it in her back 9 two,....

anyways, get this idea to beau brewer imempedatily,

then get jason falller on the pione, he's going to be the producer of the movie i want to diredctr and act in in it';/...

this is the game called life,

i sing this to mysefl when im derpressed,...

I am a child of god, and he hsa sent me here, has but me her on a erathly hone with parendt kind and dear, lead me gu8ied me walk beside me help me find a way, teach me all that i can do to live with him soem day,

I'd say that;s my favortie songm, and no body, i mean nobody, coud heven to holled a candle in the wind to my morther, she could have been a star... i love you mom

and ways, get jason faller on the phone with me, Did i say that 2wice, Opps, i did it angain?

I;'ll start wiring a scritp ttoday , it should be easy,...


I quit my job, so i could be come a full ti e pimp, and sorry, im not kinding,...

some people thought i was joaking when i came up with this,

if you belieive they put am gman on the moon?

anwyas, i cvvna't wait to start living lager, to sart off with i want to buy a house in whistelr and fierniie, and lake vicrtoaria, i'll nee about 2 mill to do it, so pay me you fuckers,...
and while your at it sue, me, i'l;l be at the beagel tonight if anyone wants to join me,

get me crish rocks cell number, i want to talk bussiness with that nigga,

ok and seriousluy,, i just had to ask some ude waht day is tawas,zz

fucke, druges, rape sluts, kill people, and jump \being the well like its still leavgel, im dumb enoght to wakl in the storyu , and steall, i am slim shady,''

these drugs, i can't see stratight, im going to have an anti-depressant,'


anlyways,

there so much i want to do, no wait, i;ll be boozing ti up at the boelffo bitlls itonight, free booze 7 till eleven- bhoo-ha ka sha,

actually i have to stay in and wathc tv, im done liveing as a partie animal,

lest ask ivrivne wielsht if he wones a time machine because, he, tells srottys, that i've lived thru it;'s really weird,

i think i could ty any move ever made, and i think i could find something in return...

i'm kid ken' kenif, from the eimntaer net, im am going to rape you r chilldren,

actually, theres sp much i want to do, watch me,

where the fuck is mattus i need him right now,

ui need a lowaer too, im going to ask mick cri9ghton,

takes, a bit of chaockolate coverd coroseent,

I'd make a a get pimp, i want to somket weed with icecube,

So show me the omoney, come on boyz, or girls,

Th costars would inclludde chris rock,
jack black,
everyone form dogma, Including extrase,

maddonana, and anliansi morrester

think they woulr have a 3 some with me,?

anywyones, orgoamo,
and me Oragasm ma, hi's arch rivela, from a nother b\porn company,

there i s not limit, to what i well creat,

make em say eh, eh nam ena ndamna dnl,,/ nighta im that boyz with the usi,

lets get the kids from kids, se wat htogse fuckers, are uo to,,,

i want to drink so me malt liwquior with cassyper the dopes gost around,

anyways,

Starshk and hutch could make an apperaince, and earest me,

Bill cosbey could paly god.


because we all come from the black man, lets not kid ourselfs,;

anyways, We could do it as low budget has possible, there eno libmt wto wath i can do!

We could work in a fast fod restreaynt, and smoke weed whell your at work, in for\nto of your sumper fiveers,

ashton go work at a micdonaslls, please, ilkl give you $50 bucks, i fucken dare you punk,

we could maek it a skydiveing movie, and a big ari with a hunder 130 fot ttabel tope,

have a comp on it, and see \w we ciykdh gahve skiers, vs snowboaders,

im goig to steall skis from glacier shop to day, then pay for em latter,


anyays, im going to pay my tyting, for onece in my life,

10%,

im sure people would love to know puffyies, a mormon...

jusst kidding...

i just asked some bitch beside me if sh'e dlilke a cooy of my story,
tge cunt said no,

anyways, im driaing on ,....



I'm going to go take a nap sometwherie in a park, o shit i'f raining, fuck that,

I'm a fucken Jennnus, and i don;'tt give a fuck, im a crimainl and i';kll kill you too...

my budyyi mat told me that Pulp fiction is true to life, ore was it natural born killers, i cant remmebber but i wil seay that he tpodl me, Natualr born killers is a great love story, you sick fuck, you need help, i love you thoght, im going to come apaerty ewith you in monteral,

im going ot ask laura ross, if i could buy her houlse offf her too, i'd give it ot my cousin Valerie,

im coming up, and im bringing my friends with me, watch me...

Whislter, is like the new maliabu,

so stars should trow down on a cribe and let me move in with them, hot tub requeiter, or don't fucken talk to me,.


anyways

does listlen to Dance mix 95/' make me, gay,

i sure hope not,

anyways, let vancouver be hollywood, north,

i've assked a girl to marry me, the weedings going to be in vagas, on christmas,

so make me a rap superstart, i fucken dare you,

i;'m goin gto start a eminem cover band, and my bioyz JOnny and JaY_IS_Shady@hotmail.com witll be down with my click, ting i'll slap hands with kiprosse, im a big fan, he is allso my jesus,

i love saying that, kiperios your hot, how many girls ahve you banged...?

anuways,

m

my 1st millon will got out to travis_ivberson, i love you man, live life thru me friend, i don't mind,
my 1st mill, (i like the sound of that, will go to Tracvis, you will walkl again i promise yo that brother,

sorry, im going to cry,


* 5 minute break,


anyays,
anyways,

we all know tanner hall is the prodical sun,

oh and about my faller pro model armadas,

i want a goat on the tips, then bullet holes over my name, 'Faller'

and lets be honest people,

all the starts in the movie would profit share, and we would give alters 50% to charityies,

Theres so much we could do,

SKiers, Vs, Snowboards,

ho ho ho, and a boottle of rum, sounds good to me, im going to the liquor sotrye,.

anyways, pootie is a sider, and ali gi is a stupid snowboard,

chris rock could work in a dish pit in the long horn, and alli could be a dj in la,

anyways, i'll telly you right now, throw oyu r hands up , if your hella fucked up, enisntrien teck 9 t2 tripple zip,

we could make fun of everyithing,

life is an std, face it, and were all liveing in pergatory,
that s kip, i want to tdo a song with oyou, i souldn just liek you.,

anywaysn,

as i was saying Triump, by wu-tang clan , word up,

i love all of my friends with all of my hear,t

i want everyone to forward thios letter to everyone,

sarrah, i want you to be my bride...
(one of many.;)

anyways, life is good at the momment...

We could have a dj battel, where chris roclk layws down some 'Sweat on my Ball'

and alli g\ sends it out to all the massives,

it's fucken raing, im going to go somewhere where it doesn't rain, i get siaa d when it rains,

we could film the movei in withseter and la, mabey tremblant, make sure philiou is serving at the petter carrabout,

remember my name ladies, i want to fuck everysigle chick i see, and i will,

no std, please,

anyways, SPooner, write me back you jakc ass,.

Alig would be a canadian in the movie of course, because all teriosties live in vancouvce... aha ha,

i'm not joking, i met a dude name Abdu\el, he wanted to sell me a kelo of coke, no thatnks,.


anywas,

I want everyone to email me back and think about it,

you all know im living in a draeam world, and i don';t want to wake up from this draeamn

i really like the flim american beuasty, on e of my faveos, i like the saint to ,,, val killemr is sexsy,

anyways, mattues jsut showed up and i;m going to go talk to him and smoke some weed,

anyways, remebmer my name....

I't's ryan lakeshore, (porn star name,


Don't email it to other peope, this is just for close friends,

peace out,

The origanl mother fucker,'

peaace-

Craiger...

and remember my name....

wtf?



what did that post make you think of me?

it's 1.30 how in the hell are you drunk?


[Necro - Get On Ya Knees]
I'll hit that pussy up with a nasty attack
Get on your knees like your looking for the last piece of crack
Filthy like Al Louis, jerking off at seventy
Or senerity, swallowing my twenty inches of obscenity
I'm paying a good buck
So slut, you better fuck as good as you look and suck as good as you fuck
When it comes to this porn shit you know who the master is
Bitch I'll leave Necro tagged on your ass with jizz

when your craig you';ll find a way,

anlyways, i got to go drop $700 at west beach,

talk to you fuckers later,

and mercer, want to work for me, i'll give you a hundred grand to play with,

we rulle the world,

ns.army ,what;

live by the N.E.R.D

This guy is crazy!!
We talked to him in Whis yesterday at 'The Block'. Craig Faller. You are a crazy dude. Lets hear some more stories!



----------------------
President of the LBK

peeps this game,

do i have to ask if i gots tallten?

i don't know,

all i know is if i can't buy the girls skate movie yea right, im going to kill someone,

sorry,'

wa-ta-tay, ningga,

OKAY note to everyone that read's this, do not, i repeat do not, show this to any off your friends,

and i do not want to become a fucken celebrity, but i would like a swiss bank account, so lets make shit happen,

A lot of people ask me
Am I afraid of death?
Hell yeah I'm afraid of death,
I don't wanna die yet.

A lot of people think that I worship god,
and that I do all types of retarded shit.
Look, I can't change the way I think,
I can't change the way I am,
but if I offended you, GOOD
'cause I still don't give a fuck

I'm zonin' offa one joint
Stoppin' the limo
hop in the window
shoppin' the demo at gun point.
A lyricist without a clue
what year is this?
Fuck a needle, here's a sword
body pierce with this.
Livin um up,
Never givin' a fuck
Gimme the keys I'm drunk
and I've never drivin' the truck.
But I smoke dope in the cab
I'll stab you with the sharpest knife I can grab
Come back the next week and re-open the scab.
A killer instinct runs in the blood
Empty your four clips and bury your guns in the mud.
I've calmed down now
I was heavy once into drugs
I could walk around straight for two months
with a buzz.
My brain's gone.
my soul's worn, my spirit is torn
The rest of my body is still being operated on
I'm ducked the fuck down while I'm writin' this rhyme
'cause I'm probably gonna get struck by lightning this time.

To all the weed that I've smoked,
Yo this blunt's for you.
To all the people I've offended,
Yeah fuck you too.
To all the friends I use to have, ( i don't miss any of you fuckers, eat my dick)
I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass.
For all the drugs that I've done,
Yo I'm still gonna do.
To all the people I've offended,
Ya fuck you too.
Every time I reminisce,
Yo I miss my past.
But I still don't give a fuck,
Y'all can kiss my ass!

I walked into a gunfight with a knife to kill you
Cut you so fast
When your blood spilled it was still blue
I'll hang you 'til you dangle
And chain you at both ankles
And pull you apart from both angles
I wanna crush your skull
'til your brains leak out of your veins
And bust open like broken water mains.
So tell Sadam not to bother with making another bomb
'Cause I'm crushing the whole world in my palm
I got your girl in my arm
and I'm armed with a fire arm
so big my entire arm's a giant fire bomb
Buy your mom a shirt with a Slim Shady iron-on
and the pants that match
here mama try 'em on
I get amastertive
with a mouth full of adjectives
A brain full of adverbs
And a box full of laxitives
Proof of all hospital accidents
God help me
before I commit some irresponsible acts again, (HONESTLY!)

To all the weed that I've smoked,
Yo this blunt's for you.
To all the people I've offended,
Yeah fuck you too.
To all the friends I use to have,
I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass.
For all the drugs that I've done,
Yo I'm still gonna do.
To all the people I've offended,
Ya fuck you too.
Every time I reminisce,
Yo I miss my past.
But I still don't give a fuck,
Y'all can kiss my ass!

I wanted an album so rugged nobody could touch it
I spent a million on crack,
And went over my budget
Now how in the fuck am I supposed to get out of debt?????? (Some one pay my fucken visa)
I can't rap anymore I just murdered the alphabet
Drug sickness got me doin' some bug twitches
I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches
I don't rap to get the women
Fuck bitches
Gimme a fat slut that cooks and does dishes, (couga,) BUT< she's not fat...
Never ran with a clique, (i was my fucken Clique)
I'm a pussy,
make that japanese bitch down that ghb Kamikaze
Strappin' the mother fuckin' bomb accross me
From the second I was born
my mama lost me
I'm a cross between manson-each ominozzi
I don't even know why the fuck I'm here in the first place.
The worst day on this earth was my first birthday.
Retarded
What did that nurse say?
Brain damage
Fuck I was born during an earthquake

To all the weed that I've smoked,
Yo this blunt's for you.
To all the people I've offended,
Yeah fuck you too.
To all the friends I use to have,
I miss my past
But the rest of you assholes can kiss my ass.
For all the drugs that I've done,
Yo I'm still gonna do.
To all the people I've offended,
Ya fuck you too.
Every time I reminisce,
Yo I miss my past.
But I still don't give a fuck,
Y'all can kiss my ass!




NS Instant Message


Message from:
some chick,
Date Sent:
2004-08-28 23:07:48



just got in (was golfing all day). email addy is blow_ME_at_@hotmail.com (better to use that then newschoolers).

I may be out tonight if my head calms down.

that is crazy .. to much of the fun stuff for you craiger! and your roomate is an idiot for being homo-phobic.. i mean it is 2004.. hello! you should kick his ass just for having such an old-school grandparent-like nazi mind.

may see you tonight, if not.. real soon..

hey .. i asked u before but you didn't answer.. at what age do you become a cougar?

(at 69 bitch;)


hey sweetheart,

Hey, watch what you say,

i'm a fucken nazi, ;0 a mormajew _ nazi,

and when do i get to rape you anyways?
ho ho ho...

;) i'm only half joking,

i wrote the best email of my life babe,
what do you want for christmas?

and i need a place to move, know anyone?

love, C-Dawg

check you email, enjoy,

P/s kelly, girls as hot as you don't become cougars,...they become milfs,

----Original Message Follows----
From: 'Craig Faller'
To: hopie66@hotmail.com, HoneyBunchesOfOates@hotmail.com, craigfaller@hotmail.com, lilatkinson37@hotmail.com, era420@hotmail.com, h3llstorm34@hotmail.com, chris_gentle@hotmail.com, chrisgetty69@hotmail.com, mark_hanna1@hotmail.com, fame_blondie@hotmail.com, michi@damichi.de, nate_abbott@yahoo.com
Subject: I am the real SLIM SHady, bitch
Date: Sun, 29 Aug 2004 13:58:39 -0400

Eminem's Lyrics - Criminal Lyrics
eminem
A lot of people ask me.. stupid fuckin questions
Yeah, I’m a criminal

eminem
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge
That’ll stab you in the head
Whether you’re a fag or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest
Pants or dress - hate fags? the answer’s 'yes'
Homophobic? nah, you’re just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (ooh!)
That’s my motherfuckin balls, you’d better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you’ll never get hold of em
Hey, it’s me, versace
Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? checkin the ’male’?
How many 'books' you expectin to sell
After your second one lands you dirictly to jail?
C’mon!-- relax guy, I like gay men

Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my girls in the hospital,
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher
You can’t reach me, my mom can’t neither
You can’t teach me a goddamn thing cause
I watch tv, and staff housing cable,
And you ain’t able to stop these thoughts
You can’t stop me from toppin these charts,
And you can’t stop me from droppin each march
With a brand new cd for these fuckin retards
Duhhh, and to think, it’s just little ol’ me
Mr. 'don’t give a fuck,' still won’t leave

CRaig Faller is a CRIMINAL!


Chorus: eminem (repeat 2x)

I’m a criminal
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it’s a crime
To tell em what’s on my mind - I guess I’m a criminal
But I don’t gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
And keep goin, I don’t take shit from no one

eminem
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed
It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don’t dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I’m a criminal - an animal caged who turned crazed
But how the fuck you sposed to grow up when you weren’t raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger, (STERIODS?)
I drink malt liquor to fuck you up quicker
Than you’d wanna fuck me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral
Sex in his oval office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee


Now don’t ignore me, you won’t avoid me
You can’t miss me, I’m white, brown-haired
And my nose is pointy
half the shit I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked ass


Hey babey, (arah)

Hey Mabey you should take a break,

ii mean, a little time appart, might show you two, how much you really need each other,

read 'LOVE IS THE DRUG' it;s by some chick, all i can say is it's the realiest book ive ever read,
almost as good as trainspotting,

I should tell you i'm starting a company called ski porn films, (would you like to work for me?;)
It's going to show shit like bj's, and ski footage, and lifestyle shit, me getting arrested,

I guess i should tell you, i;m bi-now,

that came about 25 day's ago, it's pretty cool too, but i''m an asshole, not a faggot,

anyways, openup share your problems, then i';ll flood them on an internet site for complete straingers to judge you, (ANAMIATY...) no body will know it's you, i'ts going to be fun, give me some fucken dirt...

I love you, come back to whistler

Wa-da-taa


Oh, and Nate, Or Leslie,

I'' was thinking, i'm really fucking pissed off, i roll around in my buddies fucken 78 Datsun,
fucken send me a mercides Kompressor already, or i guess i could take a CLK-54 or something,

Actually, i want a cherry red 57' caddy, cauze that was the first bitch i ever got up in....
Classic eH, Yup, i sure am a mother fucker..... ho ho ho, i got's taste eh?, Hunter...

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?
Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
I repeat, will the real Slim Shady please stand up?
We're gonna have a problem here..

I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won't the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

And put one middle finger in one hand up, and be proud to say 'I'M out OF my MIND'

one more time, loud as you can, how doees it GO?

Martha Stuward doessn't have to swear to sell books,
well I do, so fuck her and fuck rosie too,
You think I give a damn about an award?
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me
'But Slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?'
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?
So you can, sit me here next to Britney Spears?
Shit, Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs
so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst
and hear 'em argue over who she gave head to first
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV
'Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Kim, hee-hee!'
I should download her audio on MP3
and show the whole world how you gave Craiger VD, ahh,
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me
so I have been sent here to destroy you bzzzt
And there's a million of us just like me
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!


And every single person is a Slim Shady lurkin
He could be workin at Burger King, spittin on your onion rings
*HACH* Or in the parkin lot, circling
Screaming 'I don't give a fuck!'
with his windows down and his system up
So, will the real Shady please stand up?
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?

Chorus 4X

Eminem
Ha ha
Guess there's a Slim Shady in all of us
Fuck it, let's all stand up


ANd I'm still standing you fucken cock suckers, come get me,

and eat my mother fucken DIck...

live by the N.E.R.D

opps,

don't any of you fuckers email my friends,

i;lll kill you,

peace-
live by the N.E.R.D

All, just add,

i love life, and i love ......

i'm going to go blow $20 at the arcade,

peace-
live by the N.E.R.D

who said there was something wrong with being hammed at 1:30
______________________
Lord_Piot is only concerned about weather or not the us foreign policy will affect his ability to obtain weed or not... - anewmorning.

DAMN RIGHT

i talked to a cat for like 45 minutes on msn one day

me and that cat were best budds
************************************************************
-Matt

my one friend was pushed into a pole and he riped his sack open on impact now we call him stitchie

What our sport needs is love, not everyone trying to be cooler than each other.-skimack

piot, shut up. i don't wanna hear your shit...


[Necro - Get On Ya Knees]
I'll hit that pussy up with a nasty attack
Get on your knees like your looking for the last piece of crack
Filthy like Al Louis, jerking off at seventy
Or senerity, swallowing my twenty inches of obscenity
I'm paying a good buck
So slut, you better fuck as good as you look and suck as good as you fuck
When it comes to this porn shit you know who the master is
Bitch I'll leave Necro tagged on your ass with jizz

thats great, Im not.


-anna

skiing makes
me really
happy.
spreadin' the love, y0

MErcer work for me,

i gots;s bling,

i just spent $700 at westbeachl....
live by the N.E.R.D

im so confused
He who hesitates masturbates

i'll work for you, as long as my title is professional joint roller. and if it's not, it better be the back up rappers, like the guys ludacris has. they just help emphasize his shitty rhymes and dress 'cool'.


[ Slug ]

You look like you were built for me; You talk like you want to steal my drink
You kiss like you already came; And that's a lift to pull a line for those with out any game

It's like damn baby; You know you can't save me
But you should still tell your people that your leaving with the band; Maybe you can show me your hustle
Neither one of us would be so lonely; If only you would come over here and hold me
I caught you trying to hide your smile behind your glass; But all of your secrets become a swing set when you laugh
And all of your regrets that you're carrying a burying; Don't mean a damn thing if there's nobody to share them with

We've been following each other all night now; We ought to be all over each other like right now
I don't like crowds lets take flight now; Cause that face that you make
Reminds me of my life now.

reppin' 720.30.3970 playa

nice craig, but in addition, i don't think alcohol is th eonly cause of this... shit... don't tell.

'Keep on rocking in the free world'

no,

i did eat a 1/2 of shrrooms thought,

and i can prove that. i have a witness named mattus, He's a crazy swiss dude that makes drum'n'bass tracks...
live by the N.E.R.D

i heard

'Keep on rocking in the free world'