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Tips for Girls

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Kcin
Posts: 1845 - Karma: 58
I always see these super long lists of advice/tips for guys on how to get girls so here is mine for girls to get guys.

1. If a guy is staring at you and you are attractive he wants to have sex with you so just do it.

2. If you are at a bar and a guy offers to buy you a drink buy him one or ten instead and give him a blowjob.

3. If you are self conscious or nervous around a guy you like a great way to "break the ice" is to tell him you are really interested in Pokemon followed by a blowjob and/or sex.

4. Don't ever play Maroon 5 in front of a guy you like. Ever. And if he starts singing along light him on fire.

5. If you are dancing with a guy and he gets a boner and you can feel it the best way to deal with it is to give him a blowjob so it goes away and you can get back to dancing.

6. Buy us food. The more meat the better in general. For example, bacon wrapped bacon.

7. All the aforementioned tips work in every situation so employ your new found knowledge immediately.

You're welcome girls
Nov 20 2011 3:21AM
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applejuice.
Posts: 5506 - Karma: 1,512
Oh no no, I totally agree..just thought it was hilarious.
Nov 21 2011 3:51PM
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J.M
Posts: 2854 - Karma: 254
hahaha yess
Nov 21 2011 4:21PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
oh, and if a bluename quotes you, you gotta find out where he lives, bring him a sandwitch, get there and sex right there.
Nov 21 2011 4:23PM
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asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 358
i'm really good at making sandwiches....with bacon wrapped bacon
Nov 21 2011 4:40PM
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FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
<3 marry me?
Nov 21 2011 4:49PM
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thebeesknees
Posts: 3660 - Karma: 160
dibs
Nov 21 2011 4:55PM
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midwestpowhunter
Posts: 2198 - Karma: 189
To make a man happy there are two rules. 1 .if he is talking listen. If he isn't, give him a blowjob. 2 after said blowjob make him a sandwich. ( in bothe sandwich and blowjob they must be made with passion to be done correctly, if not y even bother)
Nov 21 2011 5:06PM
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84891jnf92048
Posts: 11552 - Karma: 2,550
girls should casually drop the F-bomb every once in a while. I find it really hot when girls say fuck.
Nov 21 2011 5:07PM
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WestWoods
Posts: 960 - Karma: 414
Guys we are being selfish... bitches love bacon too, so if a lady feels she is being treated unfair... we will wrap the bacon around the shaft of the already meaty dick... and slowly. but surely, feed them until the mouth has had its fair share of meaty goodness!
Nov 21 2011 5:35PM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
fucking stupid comment
Nov 21 2011 5:49PM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14489 - Karma: 10,641
Cferg make me bacon wrapped bacon and I still stop making fun of you.
Nov 21 2011 5:50PM
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WestWoods
Posts: 960 - Karma: 414
Are you being treated unfair!?!?!
Nov 21 2011 5:59PM
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Bateman
Posts: 8591 - Karma: 8,600
back of champ. she quoted me, which means sandwitch, bacon wrapped bacon and bj's all the way.
Nov 21 2011 6:02PM
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asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 358
fine it's a deal
Nov 21 2011 10:32PM
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ohmythugaim
Posts: 1376 - Karma: 130
Did i really think about sex this much when i was 16?
Nov 21 2011 10:47PM
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douchebagmdgee
Posts: 300 - Karma: 26
girls should make sure guys get home to a waiting BJ and steak-bacon sandwich, with a comfy chair / footrub combo and their favorite sport on HD tv.
Nov 21 2011 11:07PM
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gotti
Posts: 4269 - Karma: 4,550
i will ban you for sexist comments
Nov 21 2011 11:09PM
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Curb.
Posts: 370 - Karma: 91
Won't need to "light" him on fire, you need to get away quick, well because he will catch on fire anyway.
Nov 21 2011 11:10PM
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dave44
Posts: 11052 - Karma: 113
Click for larger image
Nov 25 2011 5:38AM
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tWalnuts
Posts: 1504 - Karma: 105
this is gold
Nov 25 2011 9:18AM
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Andreas_
Posts: 210 - Karma: 21
Threads for the lulz
Nov 25 2011 9:32AM
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CashmereCat
Posts: 2211 - Karma: 2,394
Threads!
Nov 25 2011 11:57AM
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WestWoods
Posts: 960 - Karma: 414
Girls, Realize that men love to do nothing... its a fact


If you want a good relationship its time to learn that your gonna have to work. This is not saying that a man will not work at all they will contribute, but if you can learn to work in giving him your best effort, and accepting him not wanting to do much. you will be comparable to to a goddess. Why because no girls do this. you wanna stand out, do work!


examples, while having sex tell a guy you will handle everything (AWESOME)
Make the guy some food while he's watching ski edits or sleeping (ORGASMIC)
Even if you wanna go do something like dance, the man will participate if you put in the work to come snuggle up and slowly foreplay with him, man wants bj there give it to him, then he will go dance with you (MINDBLOWN)


just the way I see it

Nov 25 2011 12:07PM
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caliskigirl
Posts: 393 - Karma: 67
Awesome advice, lol. Yes to sex and bacon, no to Maroon 5..mental note made
Nov 25 2011 12:37PM
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General_Ripper
Posts: 3327 - Karma: 189
I like this thread
Nov 25 2011 12:51PM
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*monsterskier*
Posts: 2671 - Karma: 61
this
Nov 25 2011 12:54PM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
wow haha ns chicks are awesome
Nov 25 2011 4:19PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,644
a woman can't bitch when there's a dick in her mouth...
Nov 25 2011 4:28PM
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Caspaaa
Posts: 4830 - Karma: 1,466
if we say hello = blowjob
if we facebook friend request you = sex
if we remember your name = sex
if we remember your birthday = anal
Nov 25 2011 4:57PM
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GBS
Posts: 1386 - Karma: 33
I wonder, why is it so much easier for women to get sex?
Men always have to try so hard, and girl approve/deny.
I would love to have girls as horny as boys...
Nov 25 2011 5:41PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
the only tips women need are at the end of a penis.
Nov 25 2011 5:49PM
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bfulmer
Posts: 3053 - Karma: 1,975
there are some regarding sandwiches and nagging....

but this is generally true.
Nov 25 2011 5:57PM
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AOTEAROA
Posts: 2216 - Karma: 15
girls can woo me with tofu wrapped tofu. preferably marinated.
Nov 25 2011 7:43PM
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amandarin
Posts: 39 - Karma: 15
+ bacon wrapped bacon :)
Nov 25 2011 7:52PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
bacon wrapped bacon dipped in chocolate?
Nov 25 2011 8:24PM
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skitheWest.
Posts: 2304 - Karma: 1,276
ch
Nov 25 2011 8:31PM
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asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 358
I LEARNED SO MUCHHH
Nov 25 2011 10:55PM
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Porsntar
Posts: 290 - Karma: 18
why not bacon wrapped bacon dipped in pancake batter and deep fried?
Nov 25 2011 10:59PM
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Dan.P
Posts: 1351 - Karma: 12
When did Jon olsson get such nice tits
Nov 25 2011 11:00PM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5900 - Karma: 3,644
ZING
Nov 25 2011 11:07PM
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-emile-
Posts: 6613 - Karma: 8,592
also , sometimes make some of these

Click for larger image
Nov 26 2011 5:02PM
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Stickity
Posts: 7750 - Karma: 769
no candied bacon wrapped candied bacon dipped in chocolate
Nov 26 2011 5:11PM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,066
at first i thought that was a plethora or fleshlights, the holy grail of every 15 year old horny virgin. The fact that its cupcakes is even better
Nov 26 2011 5:15PM
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Deluge
Posts: 4401 - Karma: 805
i might love you
Nov 26 2011 5:16PM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
Idk man, I'd feel a bit wierd eating a cupcake that appears to be on it's period, or has just been ravaged by a huge cock.

Also; steaks should be accompanied by blowjobs every day, not just on steak and blowjob day.
Nov 26 2011 6:16PM
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trettzilla
Posts: 931 - Karma: 29
who is this woman!!?!?!?!?!
Nov 26 2011 6:30PM
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stokedelic
Posts: 1525 - Karma: 3,989
s at typing and correcting.
Nov 26 2011 7:10PM
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meeesh
Posts: 353 - Karma: 56
Someone toss me a lighter please.
Nov 26 2011 7:26PM
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Daph
Posts: 5978 - Karma: 5,009
Duly noted.
Nov 26 2011 7:47PM
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LineAddiction9
Posts: 616 - Karma: 12
best thread ever
Nov 26 2011 8:02PM
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