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So tonight I got super drunk and took everything but my clothes off, saw a girl I thought I knew jumped on her in the delicates for like 15 minutess... took her to a room. took my briefs off, and realized I have never met this girl in my life! she gave me head.
I once had some nice lady accidently text me instead of her nephew. After realizing I was the wrong person she asked me how my day was going and wished me good luck on my math test.
one time someone texted me something like 'hey lavelle, not sure if this number works. its american. i was thinking we could meet and i could give you the keys in front of the van gogh museum?'