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Post a dope bible verse

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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
Do it
Nov 11 2011 8:07AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses. So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled"


Ezekiel 23: 20/21
Nov 11 2011 8:16AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
"From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the LORD. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys."


2 Kings 2:23-24
Nov 11 2011 8:19AM
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sweatshirt
Posts: 1357 - Karma: 483
wut
Nov 11 2011 8:26AM
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Orrin
Posts: 1757 - Karma: 1,114
"A quarrelsome wife is as annoying as constant dripping on a rainy day. Stopping her complaints is like trying to stop the wind or trying to hold something with greased hands. Proverbs 27:15-16 (New Living Translation)
Nov 11 2011 8:29AM
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Panchuk
Posts: 1610 - Karma: 355
"And then god made the earth in a couple days somehow, and he also made two people who had a lot of incest"

Genisis 1:1
Nov 11 2011 8:31AM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
"One may attain elevated senses of self and surrounding by seeking out the magical green plant and proceeding to light it on fire while inhaling it's smoke, you may even fuck a fat chick or two."

Paul 3:16
Nov 11 2011 9:26AM
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corona
Posts: 12796 - Karma: 32,757
"And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. "

-ezekial yea yea I realize it's not there.
Nov 11 2011 9:29AM
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IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9931 - Karma: 9,400
hahaha
Nov 11 2011 9:31AM
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gus555
Posts: 4170 - Karma: 34
Genesis 17:13 "He that is born in thy house, and he that is bought with thy money, must needs be circumcised: and my covenant shall be in your flesh for an everlasting covenant."
Nov 11 2011 9:33AM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
"I'm too drunk to taste this chicken"

Colonel 4:18
Nov 11 2011 9:37AM
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whoa-dere
Posts: 10596 - Karma: 7,103

.

Nov 11 2011 9:39AM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
"Fuck bitches, get money"


From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road some youths came out of the town and jeered at him. "Go on up, you baldhead!" they said. "Go on up, you baldhead!"

He turned around, and looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord.

Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.

2 Kings 2:23-24
Nov 11 2011 9:40AM
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funkmaster
Posts: 617 - Karma: 1,876
"If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts,you shall cut off her hand, show her no pity."

lol!
Nov 11 2011 9:40AM
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BROSEIDON
Posts: 3702 - Karma: 1,495
You never fail to disappoint me.
Nov 11 2011 9:46AM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
Genesis 25:30
He said to Jacob, "Let me eat some of that red stuff, because I'm exhausted."
Nov 11 2011 9:48AM
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Alex.B
Posts: 302 - Karma: 337
"Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks" -John 7:11
Nov 11 2011 10:08AM
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.frenchy
Posts: 18221 - Karma: 12,323
Amen.
Nov 11 2011 10:10AM
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Mr.Turtle
Posts: 3690 - Karma: 96
inb4 possible shitstorm
Nov 11 2011 10:12AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
I think that was actually in the book of dre
Nov 11 2011 10:12AM
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wait.what
Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529
Click for larger image
Nov 11 2011 10:18AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
lol @ the old testament (not that the new testament is awesome)
Nov 11 2011 10:58AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
Revelations is a pretty dope book.


The bible is like a series that goes on to long. Sort of like some books, and tv shows. They keep going and if you've read/seen all of them the plot doesn't match up from one to the next. Shit just ends up not making any sense. But at the same time it's still entertaining
Nov 11 2011 11:01AM
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rYb
Posts: 944 - Karma: -12
Jesus isnt real.
Nov 11 2011 11:19AM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
and shepherds we shall be, for thee my lord, for thee. power hath descended forth from thy hand, that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. so we shall flow a river forth to thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti.


I KNOW ITS NOT FROM THE BIBLE BUT ITS PRETTY FUCKING SWEET ANYWAYS
Nov 11 2011 11:34AM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
you're the reason atheists come off as assholes.

all religious matters aside, jesus is one of the most documented historical figures of all time. To argue that he wasn't real is like saying the holocaust didn't happen. 
Nov 11 2011 11:35AM
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Willgum
Posts: 3254 - Karma: 3,066
hahah the second i saw this thread that's the verse i thought of. What was Morgan Freeman thinking when he wrote all these?
Nov 11 2011 11:35AM
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rYb
Posts: 944 - Karma: -12
The holocaust didnt happen... what you saying bro?
It was all a plot by jews to get their own country.
Nov 11 2011 11:37AM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
Are you really god?
Nov 11 2011 11:43AM
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KANGAROOJACK
Posts: 361 - Karma: 59
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.
Nov 11 2011 11:46AM
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KANGAROOJACK
Posts: 361 - Karma: 59
holocaust didn't happen.
Nov 11 2011 12:24PM
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gregorio
Posts: 2372 - Karma: 151
I was going to say "inb4 that verse from the book of Ezekiel used in Pulp Fiction" but then I saw it it already used. Fuck

But really anything from the book of Ezekiel or Revelations. I love those books, such quality.
Nov 11 2011 12:30PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,255
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."
Nov 11 2011 12:31PM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
"If anyone curses his father or mother, he must be put to death." -Leviticus 20:9

ahhh motherfucker, i'm done for.
Nov 11 2011 12:33PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,255
Fuck yeah. I've never read any religious book of some sort but that verse is tooo fucking badass.
Nov 11 2011 12:36PM
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RAEL
Posts: 252 - Karma: 23

my lol to this thread made me disrupt my class

Nov 11 2011 12:37PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
"And Shepherds we shall be. For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from Thy hand. Our feet may swiftly carry out Thy commands. So we shall flow a river forth to Thee. And teeming with souls shall it ever be. In Nomeni Patri Et Fili Spiritus Sancti."


Click for larger image
Nov 11 2011 12:49PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
if you ever have trouble wooing the ladies, drop some quotes from Song of Songs on them and bitches drop their panties like nobody's business

"your hair is like a flock of goats surging down Mount Gilead."
song of songs 4:1

"Your two breasts are two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that feed among the lilies."
song of songs 4:5

"Your teeth are like a flock of ewes as they come up from being washed. Each one has its twin, not one unpaired with another."
song of songs 6:6

"Your stature is like that of the palm, and your breasts like clusters of fruit. I said, "I will climb the palm tree; I will take hold of its fruit.""
song of songs 7:7-8

i have used some of these before, and i guess they worked a lot better 3000 years ago.
Nov 11 2011 1:00PM
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Flying~Squirrel
Posts: 6494 - Karma: 192
i beat you to it
Nov 11 2011 1:16PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
God damn it. I quit internetting
Nov 11 2011 1:18PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
"dope bible verse"? Are you fucking kidding me?
Nov 11 2011 1:22PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
que?
Nov 11 2011 1:34PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
I don't know, "dope" isn't the first adjective I think of when talking about the bible.
Nov 11 2011 1:38PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
Why you hatin on the bible?
Nov 11 2011 1:39PM
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T.DUB
Posts: 343 - Karma: 36

"When god gives you scurvy, make lemonade"

-Jesus Christ

Nov 11 2011 1:39PM
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xoxxooxo
Posts: 462 - Karma: 31
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me"

Psalms 23:4

Jesus is more documented than Alexander the Great, Cleopatra, and the Holocaust. You don't have to believe his messages but saying he didn't exist just screams ignorance and unintelligence.
Nov 11 2011 1:40PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
I don't mean that bible isn't dope, I mean that's not really the best adjective for it. Like I would say awesome, or marvelous haha I don't know, dope just doesn't sound right.
Nov 11 2011 1:42PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
Awesome as used generally today yeah, marvelous that's pushing it.

I'll stick with dope
Nov 11 2011 1:45PM
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danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Alright. As long as I'm here-

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Matthew 6:33

Nov 11 2011 1:47PM
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howlongcanausern
Posts: 4982 - Karma: 1,737
have fun burning in hell
Nov 11 2011 1:57PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51664 - Karma: 162,541
"My life is brilliant. My love is pure. I saw an angel. Of that I'm sure"


Job 3:6-7
Nov 11 2011 2:00PM
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